"Double-sided tape" is a TV series about family ethics produced thirteen years ago, which contains only twenty-two episodes. The play is based on real events and tells the tragic story of love between a couple. This work profoundly depicts the trivial details of everyday life.
In its real family background, once experienced"Double-sided tape life"Yaping, at the instigation of his mother, suddenly slammed Lijuan's temple with his fist, leading to her tragic death. The TV series cleverly changes the brutal ending to give two people who have already disowned their partners a chance to choose their own fate.
The naked facts of marriage show us that marriage is not just about two people, but also about the relationship between two families. In this war of life and property, how should love and marriage proceed?It's a game that involves"Three views collide"with"Mutual exploration of the bottom line"The long-term game.
Love can make a person stronger, and marriage can make a person stronger, but neither of them can change the nature of marriage. When love fades and marriages break down, there are neither winners nor innocents.
Hu Lijuan said: "I gave my heart for true love, what's wrong with this?"Hu Lijuan is a Shanghai girl who grew up under the care of her parents, she always seemed a little arrogant and squeamish, even if there were many people pursuing her, she was never impressed.
However, she ran into her destined opponent, Li Yaping.
This boy blends the shyness of a teenager with the arrogance of a teenager in the Northeast, especially his sweet words, every word and sentence deeply touched Lijuan's heart. In order to pursue her true love, Lijuan even pretended to be pregnant in front of her parents and decided to get married.
Who is more resilient than their children's parents?"When my daughter goes to university, we have to prepare for her tuition and living expenses. The elderly couple eventually accepted the marriage and used half of their life savings to buy a property for their daughter. In return, Li Yaping took out 20,000 yuan at home and completely purchased all the value, including the purchase of a house, decoration and a new marriage.
Soon after, Yaping's parents walked in with their son and chose to dine and live in the young couple's home. Before this, her husband and daughter were raised by her, and she also regarded herself as the pearl of her palm. Whether it is eating or sleeping, Lijuan is always constantly fiddling and pinching by her mother-in-law.
But her mother-in-law's pampering of herself and her love for her children made her feel very depressed. When her husband begged his wife to return to her parents' house to borrow money to strengthen her sister and brother-in-law's financial strength with sweet words, Lijuan hesitated for a long time, but she still couldn't resist her husband's tough methods.
So, she had to lose all her family's savings. What are the possible solutions?And the husband said, "Tell this to our family."My love for him is so deep, how can I stand by and watch?From the moment she pretended to be pregnant and got married, all of Lijuan's weaknesses clung to Yaping's palm. She knew that she could no longer love him as much as before, otherwise, she would regret it for the rest of her life.
Therefore, Lijuan was alone in the face of the Li family's constant "correction", "demand", and "obedience"...All the things that were considered unreasonable in Lijuan's consciousness have become ordinary under the washing of the belief that "I love him and I want to accept it".
In the end, Lijuan manages to defraud her mother's savings and give them to Sister Yaping, causing her biological mother to suffer a stroke due to anxiety and be unable to take care of herself;She originally intended to give up this marriage of sucking blood for a living, but due to Yaping's deception, she really got pregnant and fell into a dilemma;She wanted to leave her husband, but lost confidence because of his indifference.
* Using a woman's life as a clue, it tells a series of family tragedies. In **, when she had an argument with Yaping, Yaping, with an angry and hesitant fist, slammed it down in the angry scolding of Yaping's mother, and Lijuan bled like a noodle bag without muscles and bones, and died like this.
Hu Lijuan's fate recurs in our daily lives, most likely due to unhappy marital relationships, as well as our "risk-taking behavior":
1. In this marriage"Love"And it doesn't just mean"Obedience"。Lijuan has always seen herself as the one who gives. Initially, it is acceptable to build a relationship with both parties letting go or compromising. But when the atmosphere of the marriage transforms"If you love me, you must listen to me;If I love you, then I will control you", which is just the most traditional way of PUA.
Please don't use yours"Selfless love"to nourish your married life. Selflessness often means no self-giving, no constant concessions, and no boundaries.
2. A marriage that does not liquidate money is actually a kind of hooliganism.
When Yaping overstated the value of his 20,000 yuan, the materiality of this relationship had been fully revealed. When her $20,000 deposit was used by her husband to buy a car, the marriage broke down. In Yaping's heart, he thinks that the 20,000 yuan in his family is the main ** of his happy life now. Therefore, he ignored the contribution of his wife and his mother's family to him, and only saw himself and said, "I have already taken out 20,000 yuan, and I am fully capable of being responsible for you." ”
Therefore, he and his parents naturally occupied a lot of the Hu family's resources, and they handled affairs like relatives and handled affairs like enemies.
Lijuan's decision was too straightforward: she really didn't want to be labeled as being with her husband's family through thick and thin, because she was afraid of being the family's treachery.
Experience has taught us that discussing feelings does lead to financial losses. You and your spouse form a whole community, not a whole, which means that you must pay him in your own name and assume all responsibilities and obligations. Except for marriage, the family formed by you and your partner is an independent existence, and there should be no so-called between the family of your parents"Nurturing relationships"；In a marital relationship, you and your partner are two separate beings. "
Since I'm not forcing you to pay all your salary, you shouldn't expect me to support you wholeheartedly. In marriage, most of the harm to women stems from:"Madonna"behavior, we are afraid of not being recognized, so repeatedly pay. But in fact, your independence in marriage has a direct impact on your position in the eyes of your partner.
Although this kind of "independence" may seem cold or cruel, please believe that people who are truly willing to ride out the storm with you will not only not think you are cruel, but will not make such demands.
Because this kind of person knows that in married life, there is nothing more precious"Heart-to-heart resonance"。
Li Yaping said: "I am a phoenix man, but I am eager for a better future. When Li Yaping debuted, he didn't have any killing intent, but as time went on, his bad behavior began to spread:
In his many years of relationship with Hu Lijuan, he constantly instilled the concept of "freedom of love";and their parents, because of their different family backgrounds, have a completely different view of marriage. Under Yaping's patient guidance, Lijuan felt that the way her parents chose their partners was too much about power. After some twists and turns, these two people successfully break through the shackles and pursue the true freedom of love.
However, it is important to remember that the "freedom" they enjoy is actually realized in the property that Lijuan's parents bought for Lijuan.
If Yaping had the courage to say it"No, I'll do it on my own"I actually prefer to respect him as a real man. But if you dig deeper, you'll find that six of his deep feelings for Lijuan are because he is"A native of Shanghai, an only child"identity.
Li Yaping, a poor young man, is like heaven in his marriage and marriage, he not only stabilized his life, but also found a fairly good job, and his hukou in Shanghai is about to comeEven those properties that took 800 years of hard work for others to buy, he only contributed 20,000 yuan to successfully buy them.
It is true that the couple had a great time after they got married: if Lijuan likes beauty and enjoys life, then he will be completely up to her;Although Hu Lijuan showed a little temper in front of him, this was far from enough. He is fully willing to take on all the household chores and take full responsibility, which makes the woman feel that she has found a suitable partner.
Still, once trust is established, Kitsuntail's true colors are revealed. In the plot, Li Yaping's father is seriously ill, and his mother doesn't want to ** the old Li family's property. Faced with this situation, Yaping did not hesitate to persuade Lijuan to return to her mother's house and ask for money with gentle words.
Before Lijuan could fully understand the twists and turns, she was criticized by her husband"There is a gap in the heart, and they do not belong to the same family"。Her husband became ill as a result. Lijuan, who is usually spoiled, could not bear such a heavy responsibility, so she dug up the pension funds from her parents and quickly used them to fill the financial gap in her husband's family. As for Li Yaping, everything he did made him feel relieved and satisfied, without any hesitation, guilt or gratitude.
Later, the Li family's parents often lived in Shanghai, and at the instigation of Li's mother, Yaping became more and more dissatisfied with the behavior of this charming young lady, which was another series of Ma Bao stories that could tell a whole day and a night.
If sooner or later we enter the palace of marriage, then the person who will be our partner will finally have a choice:
1. The real test of love is not words, but what actually happens.
About what it is"Beloved", Jin Yong, a veteran writer, has created two impressive plays. One of them is a story about Guo Jing and Huang Rong. When they first met, Guo Jing was very interested in this person called"It's called Hanako"The character is unsparing in funding, and even if it means being deceived or deceived, he always maintains a sincere attitude;Regarding the first encounter between Qiu Qianqi and Gongsun Zhi, although Gongsun Zhi was open-mouthed, he successfully deceived Qiu Qianqi and used all his efforts to make up for the wrong tricks for the Gongsun family, thus establishing prestige in the Valley of Despair.
The story of the two is happening all around us. The ultimate fate of both is clearly visible, Guo Jing and Huang Rong jointly guarded Xiangyang and achieved a great mission;Gongsun Zhi and Qiu Qianqi fell into the valley and turned into dirt because of each other's grievances.
All three stories have a similar starting point, with Miss Jiao Zong stepping into the world of rivers and lakes for the first time. She is an easily exploited woman who likes to show off herself in front of others, but she is reluctant to reveal her true identity. Huang Rong chose to evaluate others based on things, and did not expose her true identity prematurely;Hu Lijuan and Qiu Qianqi broke through the dimensional barrier, chose to observe others with words, and showed their hole cards effortlessly.
Please don't believe in the kidnapping of emotions, whether it is an illusory mirage or a colorful flower, you must observe and understand more, because only the same sincere people can have an impact.
2. Ma Baonan's way of thinking has always remained the same.
In the play, the many arguments between Yaping and Lijuan are not because Yaping is dissatisfied with their lifestyle, but because Li's mother has an "unhappy" attitude towards the young couple's lifestyle. Although he gives the impression of being imposing, in reality his body is soft, and he always acquiesces in his parents' dictation of him in his life and turns a blind eye to his wife's demands.
Don't expect too much from the so-called mom boy because in your life, there will always be a hand from a loved one who is constantly messing up your relationship, which can damage the relationship in minor cases and lead to exhaustion in severe cases.
Marrying Ma Bao Nan is like marrying a body without thinking. In a romantic conversation, the deep affection between him and you can be sincere;The oppression and control he exerts over you in everyday life is real.
Mother Li said: "Don't say that I am my son's parasite, that is my son's mother-in-law in the play, very vicious, even the daughter-in-law has to count how many pieces of meat she eats, and completely forgets that it is her daughter-in-law who has given the most and contributed the most to the whole family."
She does not think that her daughter-in-law is a pure person, but thinks that her son is very capable and is the right-hand man who leads the Lao Li family to success.
Frankly, she was born in the countryside and was so influenced by the idea that men were inferior to women, and she forgot a long time ago that she was also a young daughter-in-law. At that time, she and her son were both girls, and they both liked boys.
Due to her relatively limited knowledge of culture, she had to transfer what she saw to "her own people" like a spicy woman. Her narrow-mindedness and prejudice were influenced by environmental factors, and her courageous character in turn suppressed her son. I don't have any face in front of her.
That's my son", so I ate to my heart's content. "That's my son", so all women should care about him as much as I do, otherwise I will take action. My son is a wealthy man in the village, but he is also a powerful man. Those are the elders of the old Li family, so Hu Jiahe should pay for our family wholeheartedly.
The logical illogic behind it is because she doesn't know how to position herself;It's my father's strong oppression, and it's not just that!Doesn't the connivance of Yaping's generation of highly educated people also reflect the pain that this rural woman experienced at a young age?
In her younger years, she may have also made an almost selfless contribution to Lao Li's family.
Therefore, the social status is comparable, which is very critical indeed. Even if your partner comes from a modest family, at least before you get married, you should know what your future in-laws will be like and how your mother-in-law and husband will get along.
The great gap beyond the material actually originates from the depths of the soul. Believe the old adage:"The way your in-laws interact may hide the true face of your marriage;The intervention and involvement of the in-laws is destined to destroy the happiness of the marriage. This ironic yet realistic story has been given a very apt name - double-sided tape.
In married life, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law often needs to be passed"Son"or"Husband"These two characters come to fix because he is the only reason two unfamiliar women get together;Neither too optimistic nor too biased"Stand in the middle"It always represents the wisdom of family management.
In this marital tragedy, everyone is a criminal, and no one can escape.
In a marital relationship, there has never been an equal handshake of "you stand, I kneel", even when we sit on the ground.
In order to maintain the longevity of the marriage, collusion is necessary. However, in our previous relationships, make sure we are on par with each other in terms of sincerity and giving.
People who want to understand these and hope to "ask for trouble" like Hu Lijuan in the future are becoming more and more rare.