Yang Yongmei: Parents and children have been squeezing, what are they doing?

Mondo Social Updated on 2024-01-30

In the era of AI,How to raise competitive children?

How can I help my child stay alive?

Chinese Family Education Association.

Vice Chairman of the Publicity and Education Professional Committee.

Founder and former editor-in-chief of China Education News Family Education Weekly.

The 2nd China Family Education Top Ten Public Welfare Figures.

Yang Yongmei

At the 2023 Education Forum for Asia Annual Conference.

Family Education Sub-forum.

I made a wonderful sharing from 7 perspectives.

Let's take a look.

The following is an excerpt from Yang Yongmei's speech).

01 When AI invades our lives,

How difficult is it to educate?

This is a very special year, and there is an uninvited guest who has invaded our lives and caused a disruptive conflict in all aspects of our lives, including education, which is AI. Many changes have forced us to think about existing problems in a new dimension.

These data are already more worrying, will it be more serious:

According to the "2022 Adolescent Mental Health Survey Report" of the Chinese Academy of Sciences, data shows:About 148% of adolescents are at risk of depression to varying degrees40% of adolescents are at risk for major depression,10Eight percent of adolescents are at risk for mild depression.

A joint study between the China Youth Research Center and the Institute of Psychology of the Chinese Academy of Sciences has shown that: 77% of middle school students are at high risk of depression, 55% had severe anxiety, 181% had suicidal thoughts.

In a comparative study of students from China, the United States, Japan and South Korea, it was found that Chinese parents paid the most attention to their children's academic Xi performance, and paid the least attention to their children's emotions and friends. But emotions and making friends are the parts of your child that are most likely to go wrong.

This kind of data requires us to constantly reflect on the childhood we give our children, and the daily life we give our children, is there something wrong?

In the same living environment, why do some people struggle all the time, while others can shine?Musk really can't be copied, but I see that there are some people who can still get intrinsic motivation under general circumstances, their self-confidence, their empathy, their perseverance, and their curiosity come from **?

Today, when we consider the development of any child, we can be in this triangle: one is the double reduction policy that has a particularly big impact on each of our families on the surface, the other is the family education promotion law that the state has mentioned to the level of legislation, and the other is the children's rights that are unfamiliar to our adults.

But this triangle is not static, it is pushed by a force that spins wildly, and this force is the blowout development of artificial intelligence. The impact it brings to our lives is that the sensitive people are already lying down and shivering, and the sluggish people still feel very far away.

Today, we are discussing the collaborative education of home, school and society, what kind of vision should we see, and what kind of changes should we see?

I'd like to respond to a question I'm thinking about myself in a few shades:Today, the child and ** have been rolling and squeezing, what are they doing?It's cultivating a sense of competition. But our children are not competitive, competition itself is a neutral word, but if you add too much and use too much force, it will cause harm to your child's body, mind and spirit.

02 Return to the common sense of education

Cultivate inner vitality

Is it possible to return to common sense, return to the original intention, live a good daily life, and reconstruct the childhood that children should have in these ways?I would like to give a little bit of my own response from the following seven perspectives.

First of all, raise your children to be good students. I learned this concept from a Japanese sociologist, and I agree very much that this is the educational advantage of the family, which cannot be replaced by the school and society. If a child is not nurtured to have good health, good character, and good habits Xi life, even if he is sent to a prestigious school and meets a good teacher, it is difficult to change the difficult situation of learning Xi. The three good students have a sense of picture: **black, white teeth, bright eyes, strength, straight waist, and many smiles. Later, I read the literature of psychology and found that a lot of smiles is not a child's likability, but a sign of an active brain, many problem-solving ideas, and good interpersonal relationships. To see whether a child's childhood is normal and whether his childhood life has been reconstructed, it is easy to consider whether it meets these six indicators.

Second, develop children's athletic ability. What is quality education?Start with the playground. Children need to exercise, and the ten minutes that disappear are by no means normal. The brain inhibits excitement, the cerebellum has no chance to use it is absolutely normal, every child needs an hour of high-intensity sweating and vigorous breathing exercise every day, and if you don't do it, you will owe the child's childhood, and you will definitely pay the price. That's the law. Big data also tells us that children's academic Xi performance is related to emotional positivity, where does emotional positivity come from?Good interpersonal relationships and love sports.

Third, develop your child's housekeeping skills. Many parents are reluctant to let their children do household chores, including among teachers. Parents can share data that housework not only does not affect their child's academic performance, but also drives his academic excellence rate. Education, psychology, sociology, and brain science are so developed in western developed countries, if housework is not beneficial to children, why is it fixed in the form of law?The double reduction has also been misunderstood, and parents are concerned that there are fewer classes, but in fact, the policy is very clear, with additions and subtractions. Add the parts that you ignore and that you don't cherish. We believe that children's learning Xi is cognitive Xi, which can be written and calculated, but brain science research tells us that rich experience and opening up all the senses are very helpful to the Xi of cognition. Therefore, ingenuity is not a moral compliment, it is a physical phenomenon. The more hands-on children have, the more opportunities for brain development.

Fourth, cultivate children's reading ability. Reading should be done as soon as possible, some parents say that their children are 15 years old and do not want to study, I can only say that it would be good if they paid attention to it earlier. Many times there is no environment created for children, and a very available public resource is to take children to the library regularly. Many families don't have that many books, but their children love to read, because parents take their children to spend half a day a week in the bookstore, read them for free, and in this way, the children become children who love to read.

Fifth, cultivate children's playability. Our child doesn't even have ten minutes between classes, and many parents say that grass grows in their hearts when they see their children playing, because they don't know that play is also a core competitiveness. Brain science research is more concise, and it is called a real scholar. Everyone corresponds to a sentence, and the fake student is learned, suffered, forced, boiled, and brushed. The difference between true and false is the power inside, and his endurance is not the same. So today, when IT has ruthlessly changed our current way of life, if education does not think, we still want to cultivate some children who are unemployed after graduation, which is too cost-effective and cost-effective. We have lost our child's childhood, and we have not won him a happy adulthood. Many parents like to pay attention to the problem of mobile phones, and parents are like enemies of this problem, giving it casually, and not realizing the way to play, the easier it is for his children to indulge in it. Play itself is not a flood of beasts, play excessively, only mobile phones are terrible to play, children like to play with mobile phones is one of the many joys, don't be nervous.

Sixth, develop children's social-emotional cognitive skills. I think this is particularly important, if it can be summed up in one sentence, is the ability to deal with people in our daily life: aesthetic power, emotional power, warm empathy for people, ability to solve practical problems, reliable ability. These artificial intelligences can't catch up, and they certainly won't be able to catch up for a while, and there are many core parts that can't replace us. For example, in school bullying incidents, it will be found that both the bullied and the bully lack empathy, and the cultivation of empathy is not a course, but in the normal daily life of childhood. Which children are not easily bullied?Children also have rivers and lakes, and children are in a group from the beginning of kindergarten, and they must also find their own place in the group. Those who are always welcome friends can be cultivated in the family through play, through companionship, through interaction.

A famous principal who has been teaching for 50 years said that children are changing, times are changing, and the popular and leading children have not changed. Among them, it is very difficult to compete, compromise, tolerate, and strive for competition, compromise, tolerance, and struggle. But there are some elementary school students who have the ability to do so. With the rapid development of today's times, learning Xi is of course very important, but perhaps more important is the interpersonal skills that support children to go far.

AI is coming, let's discuss the impact that AI brings us, how can we compete with it?I think there is one thing that is in common, and that is human creativity. There are several degrees of human creativity, none of which are directly linked to academic performance, and many are social-emotional abilities. That's why I share a Chinese word that I like very much, which is called "physical and mental well-being". To find self-confidence from traditional culture, there are mysteries in Chinese characters, physical and mental comfort is a person's best state, stretch comfortably, interpersonal relationships have boundaries, not aggrieved or pleased. Ann, there's a woman under the roof, what kind of woman?A good woman is not capable, hard-working, talkative, and controlling, but brings safety, peace of mind, peace, quietness, and tranquility to this family. This is something we can give to our children, and it is something that no one else can replace.

Finally, help your child find his or her calling. It's a little hard because a lot of adults don't find it. Today, many children are not negative and give up life, they have thought about it, they feel that they don't know why to live, and there is no point in living. So let's not underestimate this word, in your daily conversations, in the context of family relationships, do you often talk to your children about how the world has become different because of you, this is not the dream of great people, it is everyone's dream. If we allow this kind of dullness, meaninglessness, and lack of knowing why, even if they go to Peking University and Tsinghua University, they may not escape the torment of hollow heart disease, which is very painful.

There are no eagles in the cage, we are thinking about how to love children today, the old hens will love, but we must love wisely. The cage can't raise the child's self-confidence, empathy, self-control, integrity, etc., and the core ability to let him go far, go fast, and fly high. If you only focus on success, you will be anxious. Not many people can be admitted to Beiqing, but everyone can**, if you pay attention to success, you will be depressed, but no matter what the situation can be, you can get the ability to be happy.

Now there is a wealth of information on the Internet, and we are not short of methods, but if the method is wrong, the higher your energy, the more resources, the higher your cultural education, and the more harmful it is to children.

So weCalm down and take a moment to think about the direction in **, quietly return to what your childhood should be, give up a little bit of your attempt at competition, and slowly cultivate that potential and stable competitiveness, which may be a way.

Today's interaction:What do you think is in the era of AI

How to cultivate children's competitiveness?

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Author of this article:Yang YongmeiVice Chairman of the Publicity and Education Professional Committee of the China Family Education Association, founder and former editor-in-chief of the Family Education Weekly of China Education Daily, and the second Top Ten Public Welfare Figures of China Family Education.

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