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If reason does not exist, goodness is meaningless.
Author: Insight Leyla
In 2012, the Swedish Academy of Letters announced that it would award the Nobel Prize in Literature that year to the Chinese writer Mo Yan.
For a time, Mo Yan became the focus of discussion among people around the world, and the limelight was unlimited.
The so-called popular people are a lot of right and wrong.
The relatives in his hometown, seeing Mo Yan's success, all had ideas in their hearts.
The cousin wanted to touch Mo Yan's light and ask Mo Yan to help publish his mediocre poems;
The cousin wanted to make money by Mo Yan's reputation, so he asked Mo Yan to sponsor 40,000 yuan.
At first, when he was thinking about relatives, Mo Yan always tried to help as much as possible.
But he soon found out that the more he helped, the more trouble he caused.
The cousin who can't be famous in the literary world spills all his grievances on himself;
His cousin, who took advantage of his fame to make money but couldn't make any money, began to tarnish his reputation and create false accusations against him.
All of this made Mo Yan very chilled and disappointed.
So he decided not to help anyone anymore, and whoever asked for help responded with indifference.
The relatives who couldn't get the benefits reprimanded Mo Yan for being unkind.
But Mo Yan, who is unkind, has really lived comfortably since then.
I remembered that there was a question on the Internet: why do people become indifferent?
It's nothing more than that true feelings are always used, and soft-heartedness is always pinched as persimmons.
When the effort is not appreciated, no matter how kind a person is, he will eventually become ruthless.
Once people are too kind, they are easily hurt by reality. When we are young, we always believe that kindness will bring good rewards.
After a lot of experience, I realized that human nature always holds grudges and does not remember gratitude.
Sometimes your sincere dedication can't be exchanged for others' memorization, and you can only exchange it for intensifying your demand.
In a small town in Russia, such a true story happened.
There was a man named Mohammed Shavin Shaone who owned a grocery store.
One day, a poor old man came to his shop with a few coins he had, hoping to buy the cheapest bread.
Muhammad was so touched that he not only generously gave bread to the elderly, but also decided to give coupons to the poor.
Who would have thought that as more and more coupons were issued, Mohammed's store would also lose money day by day.
But even so, Muhammad did not stop his good deeds.
But as time goes on, more and more people come to exchange for coupons.
Anyone around him who didn't get a coupon would be insulted and insulted at his store
Sometimes the bread arrives a little late, and a customer angrily slams open the door and even threatens his family.
When Muhammad saw this, his heart instantly cooled.
In desperation, he had no choice but to close the shop and never do good again.
Wang Xiaobo said that kindness is never an easy thing, and wrong kindness will not bring heaven to others, but will only drag you down to hell.
A bowl of rice feeds a benefactor, and a bucket of rice feeds an enemy.
Once you get used to giving unconditionally, you Xi risk fueling the greedy humanity of others.
After a long time, your bowl of rice is not enough, two bowls are not enough, and three bowls and four bowls still can't plug the gap of the other party's desire.
If you are too kind, you will only make the insatiable person gain an inch, and in the end it will only hurt yourself.
In a cold world, not everyone is worthy of your sincerity. The writer Zhou Guoping has a friend who has always been known for his kindness.
Once, a scoundrel asked him to borrow money, and he promised to return it in a few days.
A few days later, my friend urged the scoundrel to repay the money, but I didn't expect the other party to say indignantly: "Why are you so careful, only a few days, and you come to force the debt?"”
After hearing this, my friend blamed himself very much in his heart, and felt that he was too stingy, so he pressed the matter and did not mention it.
After another three years, the scoundrel's economic conditions improved, life was going smoothly, and my friend felt that it was time to ask for money.
Unexpectedly, as soon as the words fell, the other party jumped up and shouted: "Why are you so careful, how long have you been, and you still can't forget it?".”
In the end, the scoundrel did not pay back the money, and he also spread bad rumors about him when he met people, saying that he was stingy and could not have deep friendships.
My friend's heart was half chilled when he found out, it turned out that he was kind and kind, but in the end he only got such a reputation and ending.
In this world, not everyone deserves to be good to him.
is like what Jin Yong said in "Book of Swords and Enmity":
The people on the rivers and lakes have sinister hearts, and when they treat their friends, of course, they put benevolence and righteousness first everywhere. But when dealing with the villain, if you treat him softly, you will be deceived.
One of Liang Xiaosheng's readers used to open a restaurant.
Once he wrote to Liang Xiaosheng, saying that he was very distressed.
At the beginning of the restaurant, he invited many friends to come and eat for free for two weeks.
But one of them came to his restaurant every day to check in, and used him as his free canteen.
At first, he just ate and drank for nothing, but later he brought his relatives and friends over to eat and drink.
Even after eating, I took a lot of drinks from the store every time I left.
The reader wanted to make it clear to this friend, but before he could open his mouth, he was very entangled.
He was worried that he would hurt the other party's face if he made it clear, and he was afraid that he would hurt each other's feelings because of this incident.
After listening to this, Liang Xiaosheng replied to him: For this kind of friend, don't do it.
Because your kindness is taken for granted in his eyes;
Your politeness is weak and deceitful in his eyes.
It is a virtue to be a person and do good, but it also depends on whether the other person is worthy.
Good intentions that do not distinguish between right and wrong often lead to betrayal and bullying, rather than cherishing.
Kindness that loses its principles is often met with cold eyes and indifference, rather than gratitude.
When interacting with people, don't wait until your heart is broken to find out that you are paying the wrong heart.
Ruthlessness is not indifference, but to better protect each other. The Western proverb says: "In this world, there is never a shortage of kindness, what is lacking is reason and restraint." ”
Kindness is not blindly giving, but it requires enough wisdom to deal with complex human feelings.
Sometimes in the face of other people's requests for help, ruthlessness is the best way to deal with it.
In 1980, Wu Mengda was in the flashy entertainment industry, inadvertently contracted the Xi of gambling, and owed a huge sum of 300,000 yuan.
But at that time, his career was at a low point and he was unable to pay his debts.
So he thought of borrowing money from his good friend Chow Yun-fat.
Unexpectedly, Chow Yun-fat, who has always been generous, only coldly threw down five words after listening to Wu Mengda's matter:
You figure it out yourself. ”
This incident made Wu Mengda's heart like a knife, and he began to have a deep resentment towards Chow Yun-fat.
In order to pay off his debts, he had to make a comeback and work hard to make movies to earn money.
In just a few years, he not only got rid of debt, but also won the Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor in one fell swoop.
It was only at this time that he understood Chow Yun-fat's good intentions:
If it weren't for Chow Yun-fat's ruthless rejection of himself, perhaps he would still be Xi to borrowing money to deal with debts.
In the long run, you will only be unable to extricate yourself from the vicious circle of gambling and repaying debts, and even fall into a desperate situation.
Russell said, "If reason does not exist, then goodness is meaningless." ”
If kindness is not accompanied by reason, it will only hurt others and oneself.
Writer Zebra has a classmate named Xiao A, and her family has a car and a house, and the conditions are very good.
By chance, her mother was diagnosed with leukemia.
After her mother was diagnosed, Xiao A did not take her mother to the hospital as soon as possible**, but quickly sent a distress signal in the circle of friends.
She tearfully stated the deep love between mother and daughter, and asked everyone to contribute.
Many students heard about this and sent out donations.
But the zebra didn't say anything.
Later, Xiao A found Zebra and said that if you don't donate, can you help raise money in ***, after all, you are doing better in this regard.
Zebra said: deeply sympathetic, unable to do anything.
Xiao A asked angrily: You are also a person with parents, why are you so cold-blooded?
Zebra replied: You have your own income, your mother has health insurance and a pension, and now that you have just been diagnosed with cancer, you are busy taking money out of other people's pockets. Do you have filial piety yourself, or do you want others to help you fulfill your filial piety?
Xiao A was speechless after hearing this, and silently deleted the circle of friends who asked for help.
Zebra's behavior, seemingly ruthless, is actually deeply considered.
Socrates said: Ignorant people are not qualified to do good.
Ignorant goodness is often blind, and it can condone evil deeds and even harm oneself.
But true kindness comes with some indifference and alienation.
This indifference is not a lack of sympathy, but rather a practice of kindness without forgetting to build a wall of protection for oneself.
When we can face problems with a rational attitude, we can get rid of ignorance and think deeply and solve problems.
All ruthlessness is actually the protection of oneself, but also the cherishing of kindness.
I have heard a saying: "When people live in the world, they should have a good heart, knowledge, and virtues, big and small, but they should not be excessive." ”
In this complex world, unthinking kindness can only be bullied;Unrestrained acts of kindness will only be slaughtered by others.
Try to be ruthless in the face of other people's requests and not hurt anyone much.
On the contrary, when you can calmly look at everything around you, your kindness is truly meaningful.
Give it a thumbs up and encourage your friends.