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Author: Insight Su Mei Fine.
A good partner can reduce human suffering by half.
There is a question on Zhihu: Would you marry a very poor man?
A high praise answered: It's okay to be poor, but you can't be poor.
Poverty is material deprivation, while poverty is spiritual poverty.
Economic poverty may be temporary, but with the improvement of ability and experience, the accumulation of wealth will come naturally.
And the barrenness of the spirit is like a shadow, and it is difficult to eliminate it for a lifetime.
Hands are poor. In the TV series "Little Shede", Tian Yulan, played by Jiang Xin, comes from an ordinary background and is determined to live a rich life.
She married Yan Peng, the rich second generation, as she wished, but she didn't expect to live more tired than before.
Yan Peng is content with the status quo, lazy and playful. With a modest salary, I don't even want to take over my own business after work every day, except for partying with friends and playing games.
Children's Xi, family trivialities, and kinship ......It was all pressed on Tian Yulan alone.
Tian Yulan was exhausted and sighed that she "really couldn't take him".
Zeng Guofan once said: diligence is prosperity, laziness is defeat.
The two of them live together, if he is idle and does not want to make progress, even if there is a mountain of gold at home, life will be a mess.
If a person is diligent and steadfast, even if the starting point is low, he will be prosperous in the future.
When Zheng Min first went on a blind date with Yue Yunpeng, Yue Yunpeng was only an apprentice with a monthly salary of 3,000 in Deyun Club.
At first, Zheng Min was not optimistic about him.
But coincidentally, Yue Yunpeng's brother-in-law fell ill not long after and was admitted to Zheng Min's hospital.
My sister couldn't get out of the house, so Yue Yunpeng was busy in the hospital to help take care of her.
Zheng Min was moved by Yue Yunpeng, who had a life in his eyes, and decided to entrust him for life.
Sure enough, after marriage, in order to let his wife and family live a good life, Yue Yunpeng got up before 5 o'clock every morning to practice;
At night, everyone else slept, and he secretly recited cross talk jokes in the bed;
When others were performing, he was secretly Xi on the side.
was ridiculed by his peers and coaxed by the audience, but he didn't give up and slowly became the pillar of Deyun Club.
Now, he has not only fulfilled his promise to let his wife live in a big house in Beijing, but also bought new homes for his parents and five older sisters.
Writer Lian Yue said: "The core of a really good marriage is to find a good person." Good people have the qualities of diligence, restraint and responsibility, and the success rate is high when they are used to manage marriages. ”
Women don't care if a man has no money at the moment, what she cares about is whether the other party has the skills to make a living and perseverance.
If he has no money, he will only be poor for a while, but if he is idle, he will be poor for the rest of his life.
Poor eyes. A good friend of mine, An Xin, and her husband were college classmates, and they both stayed in the provincial capital after graduation.
The two started from scratch and worked hard for more than ten years, finally having their own small house and giving birth to a lovely son.
But recently they have been plunged into the Cold War.
The reason is that a few years ago, An Xin's husband said that the company's new young people are getting more and more educated, so An Xin persuaded her husband to take the CPA exam as soon as possible and go further.
Unexpectedly, my husband resolutely objected: "I'm a four-person person, and my brain is not as easy to use as when I was young, what are you tossing?."The most important thing is that the family has that little savings, so it is better to keep it for the children to find a key primary school. ”
This year, there was a competition in the unit, and An Xin's husband did not have a promotion and salary increase because he did not have a certified public accountant certificate.
Bai Yansong said: There are two kinds of men, one looks into the distance and the other looks close.
Looking at the men nearby, they only care about the immediate interests, the current gains and losses, and do not consider the long-term planning, and their lives are limited to a small space.
Looking at the man in the distance, he has a heart to run forward, even if he can't provide a solid life for the other half now, the future must be promising.
In "Ordinary World", Sun Shaoan is a poor boy with an elderly grandmother and younger siblings.
In order for his younger siblings to study, he took the initiative to drop out of school and took on the burden of the family.
His wife Xiulian married him without asking for a penny of bride price under such circumstances.
When Sun Shaoan explained to her the poverty of his family, Xiulian said: "As long as I am with you, it doesn't matter if I beg for food." ”
Because she saw the desperate upward energy in Sun Shaoan's body.
After marriage, Sun Shao'an was not afraid of hardship or tiredness in order to let Xiulian and her family live a good life.
He took out a loan to buy a board cart and a mule, pulled bricks for the school construction site, and earned the first pot of gold in his life
Later, he led the villagers to build a brick factory, and after failure, he withstood the pressure and started from scratch.
He endured hardships, but never gave up the struggle, and eventually became the richest family in the village.
A person is not afraid that he is poor, but that he is not self-motivated, and that he is willing to be poor.
With such a person, you may suffer for a while, but you will not suffer for a lifetime.
Because his spirit is rich, and his life is upward and full of hope.
Poor mouth. In life, there is such a kind of person:
I don't work hard, but I complain that my parents are incapable and can't provide a good life for myself;
When he returned home, he did nothing, but accused his wife of not even managing the children's Xi;
I never pay attention to my work, and when I see my colleagues getting promoted and raised, I complain about the unfairness of the leadership.
They only complain and vent negative energy, instead of thinking about how to solve the problem.
Psychologist Louis Turman said:
The biggest difference between a happy couple and an unhappy couple is that unhappy couples are more likely to complain.
If a person treats his family as an emotional trash can, no matter how rich his life is, he will not be happy.
On the other hand, a person who is emotionally stable, even if he experiences ups and downs and unsatisfactory, will bring his family a full sense of security.
I've seen a news.
When a young couple in Zhengzhou drove out with their son, they accidentally hit a cement pier in the middle of the road because of poor vision at night, and the vehicle was basically scrapped.
Generally speaking, when such a big thing happens, the husband will definitely complain a few words about his wife.
However, the husband smiled and took a family photo with his wife and son.
also comforted his wife: "It's a blessing in misfortune that people are fine." ”
When a family encounters difficulties and contradictions, the husband is not in a hurry to leave his responsibilities and complain and blame his wife, but works together to solve the problem, such a marriage, any difficulties encountered will be easily solved, and the prosperity of the family is just around the corner.
Don't blame when you encounter things, complain less about everything, and bear things together, which is the best appearance of a marriage.
Poor heart. A psychologist once said that people with poor hearts are ostensibly short of money, but in fact they lack the courage to change the status quo.
If you don't want to put in the effort, you want to take shortcuts through calculations, but if you calculate and calculate, you will eventually fall into the trap you dug yourself.
Li Muzi, who is worth hundreds of millions of dollars in the movie "She Who Disappeared", disappeared mysteriously when she and her husband He Fei traveled abroad for their wedding anniversary.
As the plot progresses, the truth of the incident emerges.
It turned out that He Fei, who seemed to love his wife deeply, was the ** who killed his wife Li Muzi.
He Fei is a gambler, in order to repay huge gambling debts, he deliberately approached Li Muzi, who was born in a wealthy family.
She likes the starry sky, so he creates beautiful starry skies for her.
From the patterns on the clothes to Van Gogh's starry sky exhibition, every detail is precisely stepped on Li Muzi's preferences.
She thought she would meet a lover, but she didn't know that she had become a tool for men to achieve class leapfrogging through marriage.
He Fei in the film is lazy, calculating, greedy, unscrupulous, and finally calculates himself behind bars.
It is not terrible for a man to be poor, but he is afraid of being poor.
With such a person, not only will you not be able to live the life you want, but you will also suffer from it.
Maybe such people are more extreme, but there are also many poor-hearted men in life:
When a colleague in the unit was promoted, he indignantly speculated privately about the "unspoken rules", but did not reflect on his state of living in chaos;
When my friend bought a big house, he became jealous, thinking why he was so rich and he had been poor.
The ancients said: People are poor for three points and cold, and the heart is poor for seven points of suffering.
Poor people are often short-sighted, thinking that it is always immediate interests and unearned gains, such a man cannot support marriage.
Zhang Ailing said: If the other half chooses the wrong one, every step for the rest of his life will be wrong.
Whoever you marry, you choose what kind of destiny you choose.
The wrong people will keep consuming you, grinding away your enthusiasm and hope little by little;The right people will nourish you and make you a better person.
When you get married, you must keep your eyes open and stay away from people who are "poor".
Don't let your marriage become a burden to your life.