The daughter-in-law lived in the bridal house for a month, the daughter-in-law quarreled 5 times, and the mother-in-law lived in her son's house for the elderly
As you enter your old age, how do you plan your life?
Do you choose to live with your children, share the joy of family, take care of the children and handle household chores for them, or choose to enjoy your old age alone with your wife?
It has been said that excessive parental intervention in their children's marriage may complicate family relationships.
As a result, many parents are reluctant to live with their children when conditions permit. Because parents at that time were not only free nannies for their children, but also "ATMs" for their children.
Of course, there are some special cases, they think that raising children to prevent old age, raising sons, sons should take on the responsibility of supporting their parents. As a result, family conflicts and mother-in-law and daughter-in-law conflicts originated from this matter.
Aunt Luo, 58 years old, has always been proud of her son. The son is diligent and motivated, and with his own ability, he was successfully admitted to a key university and stayed in the provincial capital to work. Whether it is school or life, parents don't need to worry too much, and they can be called good children of other people's families.
When her son got married, Aunt Luo's family was not well-off and could not make a one-time down payment, so she could only barely scrape together 200,000 yuan. Subsequently, the daughter-in-law's parents promised to marry a wedding house, and the decoration cost was 200,000 yuan made up by Aunt Luo.
Although she contributed her own funds, there was no name on her son's real estate certificate, which made Aunt Luo feel uncomfortable, and her attitude towards her daughter-in-law and in-laws became a little cold.
At that time, the in-laws explained that the house was a dowry they gave to their daughter, so the man's name would not be written. Aunt Luo muttered dissatisfiedly: "Then how should I calculate the 200,000 yuan decoration fee I paid?"”
As a result, the daughter-in-law retorted: "Since ancient times, the house was bought by the man and the woman was married. Now my parents are willing to accompany the wedding room and only let you pay 200,000 yuan, what are you not satisfied with?”
Aunt Luo wanted to refute, but her son signaled her to stop worrying. In the end, only the daughter-in-law's name was written on the property ownership deed, but the mortgage was still repaid by the husband and wife.
Aunt Luo wanted to remind her son, but the son seemed a little impatient, saying that they were both married, and it didn't matter whose name was written on the real estate certificate. Aunt Luo understands her son's impatience and also understands that she as a parent is unable to pay the down payment, which makes it difficult for her son to look up in front of his parents-in-law and wife.
Due to the controversy that occurred before the marriage, Aunt Luo and her wife did not go to their son's house for a period of time after the marriage. Because the daughter-in-law is not very welcome, and although the son did not say anything, Aunt Luo also knows how to keep her distance.
Aunt Luo, 58 years old, when her daughter-in-law was pregnant, she enthusiastically offered to take care of her daughter-in-law, but her daughter-in-law politely refused, saying that it would be more intimate for her mother to take care of her. When giving birth to a child, Aunt Luo volunteered again, but her daughter-in-law refused again, thinking that only her mother's mother was more caring.
Despite being rejected twice, Aunt Luo was unwilling. In order to do her part, she gave her daughter-in-law 10,000 yuan, hoping that she could take good care of herself and buy more supplements. However, the daughter-in-law is afraid of the lack of money.
Because of the stumbling with her daughter-in-law, even if she misses her son and grandson, Aunt Luo does not dare to take her son's family lightly. It wasn't until his wife fell ill and needed to be in a big hospital in the provincial capital** that the old couple had to stay at their son's house for a long time.
Seeing them coming, the son didn't say much, but the daughter-in-law had a bad face. That night, a quarrel came from the son's room. Aunt Luo couldn't intervene, so she could only pretend that nothing happened.
However, in the following month, the daughter-in-law quarreled with her son several times, and each time the son begged for mercy. Aunt Luo couldn't look at it, so she took the initiative to give her daughter-in-law 3,000 yuan for living expenses.
Although the daughter-in-law disliked it, she still accepted it. However, her attitude towards the old couple has not improved. Aunt Luo couldn't sit idly by, and when she asked the reason, she learned that her daughter-in-law was worried that they would live for a long time, resulting in her parents not being able to support their old age. The dowry house was bought by her parents, and in the daughter-in-law's planning, there are only parents, no in-laws.
Aunt Luo told her wife all this, and her wife was leaving that day, thinking that she had not paid to buy a house and could not live at her son's house with confidence. In the face of being disliked, they prefer to take the initiative to leave and save some face.
Aunt Luo is reluctant to leave because her relationship with her own grandson is being cultivated. If she leaves, all her previous efforts will be in vain. However, it is not okay to stay. After her son confessed, her daughter-in-law made trouble again, and Aunt Luo was in a heavy mood. While sorting out her luggage, she sighed: "What is wrong with raising children to prevent old age, living in my son's house?"Why did my daughter-in-law treat us like this?”
Whether it is a mother and daughter or a mother and son, as long as they live together for a long time, it is inevitable that some friction and contradictions will occur, not to mention the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law who are not related by blood.
Therefore, sensible and tolerant in-laws usually choose to live separately from their sons and daughters-in-law, independent of each other, without interfering with each other, and maintaining a harmonious family atmosphere. On the contrary, those parents who insist on crowding around their sons are likely to cause conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, because it is difficult for a family to accommodate two "daughters" at the same time.
In fact, in the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law and between parents and children, maintaining an appropriate distance is as ideal as a bowl of soup. They are neither far nor close, they can care for each other, but they can also maintain their own space and privacy, and do not interfere with each other.