Text|Ying's mother
Parents are originals, children are copies!
Psychologists say: 100% of children's problems can be found in their parents!
Therefore, as parents, you must know some parenting knowledge in the process of raising children and avoid guiding the wrong children.
The child's way of thinking is not the same as **, when the child is young, his understanding of things is:Whatever your parents say is what you say, and you don't have your own curves. So there are some things that you can't say in front of your children, and there are some things you don't want to do in front of your children.
Action 1: Violent quarrels
It's normal for couples to have quarrels, butBe sure to avoid children when arguing, if you don't avoid the child will make the child think:My parents quarreled because I was not goodSo it leads to a quarrel between parents, which will make the child have a very strong heartFeelings of guilt
MoreoverThe relationship between husband and wife is the anchor of the seaIf the husband and wife often quarrel, it means that the relationship between the husband and wife is not good, and the child is often in this quarreling family, and he will be very good in his heartNervousHe is worried that if his father or mother separates and does not want himself, the child will become very inferior and cowardly when he is insecure.
And because of low self-esteem and cowardice, these children are more likely to be the target of school bullying in school.
It is recommended that couples should not be in a hurry to have children after getting married, and run in for a period of time, I think that two people can do it financially, at work, or emotionally, and it is suitable to have children and have children.
Action 2: Say bad things about others in front of your child
For example:The two couples were discussing that the next-door neighbor was dark and strong, and he looked ugly, and the child couldn't speak clearly and was stupidAnd so on these demeaning words of othersAlways belittleing others in front of your child will cause your child to learn to speak ill of othersSuch children are also very vulnerable to socialization.
Action 3: Inappropriate intimate movements
It is okay for a couple to hug and kiss the forehead in front of the child, but it is better not to kiss in front of the child. As the child grows up, the people in the family must remember to close the door when they go to the toilet, especiallyParents of the opposite sex, don't dress too revealingly when you're at home.
For example, if there is a daughter in the family who is 6 years old or 7 years old, and the father is still wearing a briefs, it is actually very bad, which will cause the child to feel that it is normal for men to only wear **, and it is easy for girls to be coaxed by others.
Spanking and scolding children
Thirty years ago, hitting and scolding children may have been an effective way for many parents to educate their children, but the children at that time were indeed different from the children of todayThe child was beaten and scolded, and ran out to play with the child, and this grievance passed, and the child's pursuit of life at that time was relatively low, as long as he could be fed and clothed.
ButNow that the child's material conditions are better, his soul has become more fragile, so hitting and scolding a child can cause damage in the child's psyche.
Harvard University has also done research and found that children who are often scolded and yelled at will have stupid brains, and children who are often scolded and yelled at will become very inferior and cowardly, and they will feel that they are not good.
Often belittles children
Why are you so stupid!Why are you so stupid!Why are you not as smart as other people's children!In the eyes of parents, I hope that he will be ashamed and courageous, but for the child, he will only know shame and will only feel that he is not good.
I often say, "No matter how you are, I don't want you anymore".
"If you cry again, I won't want you!If you don't obey again, I don't want you!”Parents feel that they want their children to be obedient, or that parents are really out of choice when educating their children, so they simply threaten their children. But for children, it feels:I'm not important, my mother can throw me away at will, and such a child will become very inferior and cowardly.
When educating children, we should give them unconditional love, understand them, and respect them.
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