My son's life and I changed dramatically in an instant.
I'm 52 years old and my son is 32 years old, but he's still single.
I have urged him many times to start a family, but he always finds all kinds of excuses to prevaricate.
I was very anxious because I knew that only he could continue the bloodline of our family.
In order to carry on the family bloodline, I made an incredible decision - secretly gave birth to a baby.
Mom, you don't look good, what's wrong?My son noticed my anomaly and walked over and asked with concern.
Nothing, probably a little tired.
But how could I tell him about the changes in my body?That would be a huge blow to him.
I knew it was stupid, but the thought of the possible interruption of my family lineage made me feel like a knife.
The arrival of a baby has thrown my life into chaos.
In order to take care of this child, I had to get back to the way I was when I was younger.
But I felt an inexplicable sense of unease and guilt in my heart, because this happiness was based on my son's pain.
Watching my son lose weight day by day, my heart is really wrenched.
Mom, where did this kid come from?The son asked with a complicated expression as he hugged the child.
When you have children of your own, you will understand.
I could only avoid his gaze and find an excuse to run away.
However, there is no escaping all this.
After a long time, my son began to become suspicious, and he kept looking for clues to find out the truth.
I didn't know what to do, and the guilt and pain in my heart made me avoid talking about it.
I started to become reticent and had less communication with my son.
Mom, you must have something to hide from me.
My son finally couldn't bear it anymore and said to me resolutely.
I was in a complicated mood, I didn't dare to meet his gaze, I could only lower my head.
I know I'm hiding a lot from you, but you can certainly understand your mother's distress.
I tried to explain, but the words seemed to be blocked by something.
Looking back now, I was so embarrassed.
I put my personal desires above the happiness of my children and sons, a sin that I will never erase for the rest of my life.
Things have to come to an end.
My actions were eventually exposed, and I had to face fervent pleas and accusations.
I understood that everything I had done was irreparable, and that this child was destined to be a burden for my life.
I could feel my son's disappointment and anger, and his eyes were filled with endless sadness.
It's a situation that makes me want to find a place to get into.
But I know that continuing to run away will only make the situation worse.
What I have to do is find a way to make up for the mistakes I made with my son.
This child, whether it is my son or myself, we should not treat him as our own.
My son's indifference to me made me miserable, and he felt deeply disappointed in me, as if I had become a stranger in his life.
In order to get everything back to normal, I was determined to find the biological parents of this child.
This kid shouldn't be burdened with such a background, and I can't stand to watch him live in lies all the time.
I started asking around, hoping to find some clues.
However, it didn't go well.
In the process, I fell into a state of exhaustion.
My son remained skeptical of my silence and arbitrariness, and the rift between mother and son seemed increasingly difficult to heal.
Just when I was about to despair, I learned the true origin of this child.
His parents, a young couple, died in a car accident.
The child was orphaned and lost his parents just a few months after birth.
The moment I learned all this, my heart was like a knife and tears welled up.
I knew in my heart that all of this was the result of my selfish decisions, and I couldn't imagine the loneliness and pain of this child's childhood.
I decided to tell my son all this and take responsibility for the mistakes I had made.
When he told his son about the child's true origins, his eyes were filled with shock and pain.
He never imagined that this child turned out to be a real orphan, and his mother made such a ridiculous decision without regard for his feelings.
Looking at the child's innocent eyes, my heart was torn to the point of bleeding.
Mom, we can't lie to this kid anymore, he should know his background.
The son finally spoke.
A little relieved, knowing that, at least on this issue, we have a consensus.
It was decided to take this child to the hometown of his biological parents and let him grow up in that familiar place.
But when my son was holding the child, the love and warmth in his eyes made me feel sour.
I know that this child will always be a void in my son's heart, a void that can never be filled.
At this moment, I understand that no matter how hard I try, I can't erase his disappointment and hurt from my son's heart.
I deserve all this.
can only bear his pain silently, praying for time and fate to allow the scars between mother and son to gradually heal.
Deciding to take the initiative to confront my mistakes, I had a very deep conversation with my son.
Mom, I'm really sad, can you understand?I felt cheated and betrayed. ”
The son whispered, his eyes showing pain and loss.
Listening silently, countless accusations against myself flashed through my mind.
Knowing that it is impossible to erase the harm done to him, but it can only seek forgiveness.
Son, I know what I did was wrong.
I can't get back to the past, but I'm willing to take all the responsibility.
If you can give me a chance to make amends for my mistakes, I will do my best. ”
My voice trembled a little, it was the hardest decision I ever made.
The sincerity in his words touched my son, and he let out a long sigh and looked into my honest eyes.
Mom, I don't know how to deal with this.
However, now is not the time to blame, we need to figure out how to deal with the problems at hand together. ”
The son said firmly.
For the first time, we sat together and discussed the future of our children.
I came up with a plan that I would raise this child with my son and make sure he would grow up healthy.
My son was hesitant at first, but eventually agreed to my proposal.
Know, this is just the beginning, and it will take time and effort to rebuild trust between us.
However, the situation is not simple.
When my sister found out, she insisted on adopting the child because she and her husband had always wanted the child but couldn't.
She accused me of being selfish and heartless, but I knew it would be a great ordeal for her. ”
Sister, the child is related to my son by blood, and I can't let go easily.
We'll need time to figure this out. ”
I tried to ** release, but with a helpless voice.
The conflict in the family became more complicated, and I couldn't let my son know for fear that he would be hurt.
I had no choice but to compromise and solve the family problems first.
My relationship with my son has become delicate, and communication has diminished.
It was not easy to rebuild trust, and this child became a bond between us.
I'm sorry, but I can't accommodate your request.
The son soon took the child back to his home.
Watching them go away filled with guilt.
I know that what I have done is irreparable, but at least I can arrange a better future for their mother and son.
However, the seriousness of the problem was revealed when I went to visit them.
The daughter-in-law even refused to accept the child, insisting that it was not the family she wanted.
I couldn't believe that the whole family was in irreparable conflict.
After that, the home became deserted.
I tried to make amends, but every persuasion ended with my daughter-in-law leaving.
The son became depressed and cried to the child all day.
I felt hopeless and helpless.
Selfishness pays the price, no matter how hard you try, it seems that there is no hope of repairing the family.
It's all my fault, and I can't apologize when I face them.
I don't know how it will end.
Pay the price for yourself, but understand that there is a chance for life to change, and be willing to bear the consequences and mend the rifts in your family.
May their mother and son be happy, this is my only wish.