1 The second friend had a fever, accompanied him to the hospital, and saw a beautiful woman, the goods ** like a fever...., fart and run to all kinds of accosting, "Hi, beauty, alone?".I'm also alone. What a coincidence, we can actually meet in this kind of place, I have a fever, what about you?The beautiful woman turned around and said coldly, "I'll protect it."
Xiao Yu, a new Xi student in the 2nd unit, came to my office yesterday morning to complain, saying that several unmarried children's boots in the unit were always pestering her, and she wanted to turn her face, and she was afraid that colleagues would not get along well in the futureI looked at her carefully: Xiao Yu, why don't you take off your makeup, can you talk about it tomorrow?Today, Xiao Yu hasn't come until now!
3 My girlfriend's family doesn't like me, she is angry with her family, and sends me a message saying that she wants to go on a hunger strike**, I don't care about saying don't starve myself, I'll deal with this matter.
In the early morning of the next day, she sent a message saying that she couldn't stand it, I woke up and asked her how she was, she didn't reply, I called ** and no one answered, I was in a hurry, ran to their house, opened the door, and saw that she was gnawing on pig's trotters, and ...... early in the morningIt is said that her mother started cooking last night, and after cooking all night, she finally persuaded her girl to break up with me, and I still can't compare to pig's trotters!
4. A father took his five-year-old son to enjoy the classical ** meeting. The soprano singer and the orchestra performed the music passionately under the direction of the conductor, but the son looked a little confused and asked, "Dad, why does that old man keep scaring that aunt with a stick?"Dad smiled and said, "It's not a scare, the old man is the conductor of the band." Son: "If it wasn't scared, why did that aunt scream so loudly?"”
5. My friend's wife is at home with children, and he is doing business outside. One day, a woman added him, chatted online for two days, and made an appointment to open the room, and the woman opened the room and told him the room number. My friend also went to cut his hair, and when he entered the hotel room, his wife was holding her daughter, sitting on the bed and staring at him with resentful eyes!
6 neighbors were fighting, and I helped to pull the fight. I went to their house and saw the woman with a steel scoop and wanted to hit the man, so I grabbed it decisively. The woman yelled at me, "Give it to me!".The man yelled at me: Give it to her, let her hit!Seeing that the two of them had a very unanimous opinion, they handed the water scoop to the woman. They were stunned. After a few seconds of pause, the man took the bag at one end.
7. Uncle Zhang was recently diagnosed with heart disease.
While in the hospital, he found himself sleeping, and his wife loved to test his nose with her hand from time to time.
After a long time, Uncle Zhang was very unhappy, and once, he deliberately held his breath to see how his wife reacted.
After a few seconds of silence, I only heard my wife muttering to herself: "It's a bad thing, it's too late to ask for the password of the passbook!."”
8 I remember when I lived with my husband, I quarreled one night, I wanted to run away from home, I dragged it out, I didn't let it go, I didn't let it go, I ignored him in anger, and when it was time to go to bed, I slept comfortably on the floor alone, and when I woke up the next morning, I found that I was sleeping in bed, and I was still holding my husband, how dead I was.
9 A woman** was caught red-handed by her husband, and her husband brandished a kitchen knife and asked her: What did you say before you died?
She: It's come to this, I want to kill or cut you down, and you, a man who doesn't believe in his word, have nothing to say.
Husband: When will I stop talking?
Wife: Didn't you say you wouldn't be back today?
10 My sister's family has twin boys who are a year older than my daughter. When my daughter was 3 years old, she cried and said to me, "Mom, my brother beat me." When I heard this, I brought the two little ones to my daughter and asked, "Which brother hit you?"The daughter looked at this, looked at that, and cried: "I can't tell which one it is?"”
11 The two shell mantis discussed the lottery, and A said: If I win the jackpot, I will buy all the toilets within a radius of 50 miles and eat enough every day!B said, "You are too vulgar!".If I win the jackpot, I will buy a live person and eat fresh food every day!
12 The little rooster and his friend said, "I confess to the little hen I like, as if it had succeeded." "Oh?Congratulations!How did you confess?"I said I like you, you can give me a baby. "Straightforward enough, so how does it answer?"It says, I'll lay you an egg!”