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It's not easy for two people to come together.
First of all, mutual understanding depends on fate. There is no arrangement. If two people don't know each other, how can they hold hands?Secondly, I trust each other, trust each other, and manage the relationship between two people with my heart. The so-called "fate is determined by heaven, and people are divided". Both of them cherish their fate, treat each other well, and feel that each other is reliable and worthy of dependence, so they can walk into the marriage hall hand in hand.
The two finally came together and formed their own family. They were supposed to live happily ever after. There are always some people who forget their original intentions and hurt the feelings of the couple. As a result, there was an irreparable rift in their marriage, and it finally came to an end. It's really embarrassing. If you don't want to see such a result, you must understand: what hurts the feelings of couples the most is not quarrels, but "internal friction". Do you understand?
1.Despise each other and belittle each other.
When two people are together, it is normal for their lifestyles to vary depending on their thoughts.
If there is a disagreement, if there is no spiritual communication, it is easy to get up and quarrel, express your opinions in a violent way, and hope that the other party can understand your feelings and listen to your opinions.
The quarrel seems to amplify the problem and hurt the feelings of the couple. In fact, it is also to describe the problem and let the other party see the problem. If two people can face the problem directly and reach a consensus to solve the problem, that's a good thing.
What hurts the feelings of husband and wife the most is not quarrelling, but obviously despising each other, but being unwilling to express their views on each other and not expecting each other to change. On the contrary, they resent each other, used each other as a punching bag, vented negative emotions, got angry with each other at will, and frequently belittled each other. It is clear that they have not thought about resolving their differences or solving problems, and the relationship between the two people often ends up with irreparable rifts.
2.Obsessed with the past, he likes to turn over old accounts.
In married life, there is no perfect wife or husband, who demands perfection, kidnaps each other with morality, and demands that the other person be "perfect", and its fault may not be less than the "imperfection" of the other party.
In other words, forcing the other person to be "innocent in the past, better in the future, and perfect in the present" is also a fault, and it is also unrealistic to ask the other person in the name of love.
At the same time, two people who try to change each other in the process of communication, but indulge themselves, have typical double standards, which is unfriendly and immoral.
If two people don't know how to understand each other, they always kidnap each other with love and make excessive demands on each other in the name of "morality". If the other party doesn't let them get what they want, they will dwell on the past and frequently turn over old accounts.
They create difficulties for each other in life and attack each other mentally. No one wants to give in. They got married. They should love each other without question. Why bother each other?In this way, it is conceivable that two people will fall into endless internal friction, often unable to withstand the impact of many years of trivial matters, and finally come to this point, which is embarrassing.