My name is Lin Xiaomei, I am 38 years old this year, and I have been divorced from my ex-husband Xiao Li for 5 years.
At first, I was very disappointed in Xiao Li and never wanted to see him again and wanted to end the relationship immediately. But considering that the child is still young, only 3 years old, and still needs the care of his parents, in order to let the child grow up with the whole family, so as not to break the family and affect the child, I proposed to continue to live together, but there is no longer a husband and wife relationship.
To my surprise, Xiao Li readily agreed to my suggestion. He said that he would always be faithful to me and would not look for another woman, as long as I could continue to take care of my family and his daily life.
After much deliberation and for the sake of the child, I agreed to his request. Although our relationship has broken down and I no longer have love for him, as a mother of children, I will still try to continue to give for this family and fulfill all my responsibilities as a former wife and mother of my current children.
In the past 5 years, I have done my best to fulfill all my responsibilities as an ex-wife, continue to help him take care of the children, manage the house, and take care of his daily life. I am responsible for housework, take care of the children, and I will also carefully help Xiao Li prepare nutritious breakfast and lunch boxes, when he goes out to work to earn money to support the family, he can eat the meals prepared by his wife and feel the warmth of home.
In order for my children to grow up healthy and happy in a complete and harmonious family environment, I hid all the loss and pain caused by the breakdown of my relationship, and tried to show the illusion of a happy home. I don't want my child to see the problem between us, so I smile and don't feel anything wrong.
Xiao Li is also very good to me. He will send his son to school seriously, patiently teach his children to do homework, and often take the whole family out to play and do interesting weekend activities to enrich his life. I am grateful to Xiao Li for sincerely fulfilling his promise, and we can still maintain such a "false seriousness" in the past 5 years, playing the role of a normal couple in front of the children, maybe this is a more suitable way for the growth of the children when the children are still young than directly separating.
Watching my children grow up healthy and happy day by day under our joint care, the burden and pressure on my heart have also been significantly reduced. I began to really understand that compromise and role-playing were necessary for the sake of the family, and that I should not affect my children because of my own emotional problems.
There is no right or wrong in life, the most important thing is your own attitude. I chose to be tolerant and understanding, regardless of personal feelings, so that our home could be full of sunshine.
Some people may find it difficult to understand that I have forgiven my ex-husband so generously and continued to serve him. But I think after all, after having children together for so many years, it is inevitable that there will be a trace of affection for Xiao Li, just like a fish and a bear's paw cannot be both.
As long as the child still needs the company of his parents and needs a complete home, I will always persevere. Because as a mother, I know that it is right to put love first, love does not need to be legally certified by the law, and I can maintain my dignity even as an ex-wife.