It has been our tradition for many years that children avoid their mothers and daughters avoid their fathers. This tradition is derived from an understanding of gender relations and age levels, and plays an important role in guiding children's growth and development. However, some parents do not follow this traditional concept and ignore the protection of privacy. They are overly dependent on their children and consider themselves to be the best person for them in their lives. This extreme way of thinking leads to the loss of self in their interactions with their children and the blurring of the boundaries of the mother-child relationship.
1. Inappropriate love
There is a type of mother who gives her son wholeheartedly and expects to be rewarded with the same wholeheartedness. They pursue the intimacy of the parent-child relationship, but ignore the boundaries between mother and child. Under their education, children will inevitably develop cognitive biases about normal relationships. This kind of mother not only hopes that she can get all the love of her child, but also makes this love public to show her pride. However, they are not aware of the inappropriateness of this behaviour because they believe it is the right thing to do.
2. Public intimate behavior
Some mothers posted their intimate interactions with their sons through social **, which caused great discomfort among netizens. These mothers not only like to call their sons by the names of mother-in-law and girlfriend, but even secretly kiss their sons on the lips after he falls asleep. This behavior feels unbelievable and even disgusting. These mothers do not know or ignore the boundaries of the mother-child relationship, and are unable to put themselves in the right position as mothers.
3. Deviation of family education thinking
This way of thinking of mothers who want to raise a husband for themselves has certain similarities with those mothers who are worried that their daughters will compete with them for favor. No matter what kind of thinking you have, you don't put the mother in the right position, but treat the other person (son or daughter) as the opposite sex. It has nothing to do with status. Even some people with high social status and who are considered successful have this problem. For example, Tian Liang's wife was accused of treating her daughter as a competitor and even said that her daughter was scheming. The right parent-child relationship should abandon this competitive mindset and establish the roles and boundaries of each person.
1. Establish the right parent-child relationship
Correctly understanding and establishing a good parent-child relationship is the primary task of proper family education. Whether it's mom and son, or dad and son or daughter, there need to be clear boundaries and roles. People should act according to who they are and cannot go beyond this boundary. In the case of a mother and son, if the father behaves in a similar way to the mother mentioned above in the name of his daughter, it will make people feel uncomfortable and have a chill in their back.
2. Establish a correct family education model
In the process of children's growth, parents should have a correct understanding of the parent-child relationship, establish reasonable boundaries, and cultivate children's correct gender awareness and relationship patterns. Children should be exposed to this society at a very young age, and healthy patterns of interaction in the family will be established so that they will not be confused and overwhelmed when they get along with other members of the opposite sex later in life.
3. Avoid negative impacts
Once a child is subjected to inappropriate parent-child interaction in the process of growing up, it is difficult to erase the psychological traces later in life. Even if you change the way you get along with each other on the surface, the influence on the inside will still be there. This unhealthy homeschooling model has a negative impact on a child's mental health and future interpersonal interactions. Children may even distance themselves from their own parents and gradually distance themselves from them.
Under the traditional concept of children avoiding their mothers and daughters avoiding their fathers, it is particularly important to correctly understand and establish a parent-child relationship. Parents should establish a correct family education model to avoid bringing psychological and physical discomfort to their children. Mothers should properly understand their role in the parent-child relationship and respect the boundaries of the mother-child relationship. Although there are certain limitations in the traditional concept of children avoiding their mothers and daughters avoiding their fathers, they play an important guiding role in the establishment of a correct parent-child relationship and family education model. Proper parent-child relationships require the establishment of reasonable boundaries and roles to help children correctly understand gender relationships and provide a healthy environment for growth.