When we face a friend who is sad because of being wronged, many people often blurt out the phrase "those who are clean will clear themselves". The meaning of this sentence is that if you have not done anything wrong, you do not need to be afraid of being framed by others, and the truth will eventually be revealed.
However, I think there is a certain problem with this statement. It doesn't do a good job of empathy, and it doesn't really help the person to get through the pain. Therefore, when our friends and relatives encounter grievances, I recommend that everyone avoid using such statements.
Statistics show that nearly seventy percent of people have had emotional problems due to being wronged.
Let's start with a set of data. According to the survey, nearly seventy percent of people have experienced emotional problems or symptoms such as anxiety, depression, and insomnia because they feel wronged or wronged. This shows that the pain of being wronged is universal and can indeed seriously affect a person's psychological state.
The reason for this result is that when we feel misunderstood or treated unfairly, it is easy to develop strong negative emotions. This includes sadness, anger, feelings of humiliation, feelings of helplessness, and many more. These emotions can seriously undermine a person's self-confidence and sense of security, making people repeatedly question themselves and fall into the pain of self-doubt.
And the saying "those who are clean are self-purifying" just ignores this point. It mistakenly believes that as long as you know in your heart that you are not wrong, you don't need to be judged by the outside world and your emotions should not be affected.
But our brains don't work according to this logic. When external feedback is misaligned with our expectations, we tend to trigger self-doubt and turn to whether we are really wrong. This instinctive mechanism is almost impossible to control with reason.
Therefore, simply asking the parties to believe in the illusory expectation that "the truth will be revealed" will not alleviate their emotional pain when facing grievances.
What we need to do is to listen actively and put ourselves in the other person's shoes.
So, how can we help these friends who are facing grievances?I think the most important thing is to listen actively and empathize with their pain, rather than simply preach or advise.
Specifically, this includes several points:
First of all, we need to listen patiently and attentively to the other person's account of the injustice and pain they have suffered, without interrupting or expressing judgment. This allows the person to feel the experience of being heard and understood, and to gain a certain amount of comfort.
Secondly, we need to put ourselves in the other person's shoes and understand the difficulties they may face. For example, imagine how you would feel and be troubled if the same thing happened to you. This increases our understanding of the other person's suffering.
On top of that, we can provide further support and encouragement. For example, to express that we believe in them and will fully support them;Remind them to take initiative, not to be destroyed by the environment, etc. These positive feedbacks will help to improve their mental state.
Of course, if we have the capacity or capacity to help them take further action, such as providing legal advice or supporting reporting misconduct, do so as well. But even if we can't help, simply listening and encouraging can make sense.
Therefore, when facing friends who are sad because they have been wronged, we should stop mechanically saying the words of relief that "those who are clean will clear themselves". Instead, what we need to do is to put ourselves in their shoes as much as possible, and give them support and encouragement to help them get through it.
This not only gives the person concerned more comfort, but also shows more empathy and camaraderie.
Finally, share a small case to illustrate the problem.
At the end of the article, I would like to share a small real case that I hope will further illustrate the problem with the saying "those who are clear are self-purifying":
It is not directly related to the article and is used for illustrations.
I have a friend Xiaoling, who has a cheerful and generous personality and is very dedicated to her work, and she is deeply liked by the leaders. But several male colleagues in her company like to make sexually suggestive jokes, which makes her feel very uncomfortable. Although Xiaoling ignored it on the surface, she was still affected to a certain extent.
At one point, a male colleague's joke did cross the line and made her feel humiliated. Xiaoling told me about it, and she was in a bad mood and even wanted to leave. After I understood the situation, I gave her support as soon as possible, telling her that I would do my best to help her, and I needed to calm her down first.
But some of my other friends invariably said, "They are joking, don't take it too seriously, the clear will clean itself." I can understand the meaning of this relief, but it actually didn't make Xiaoling feel any better at all. Because this statement directly ignores the true feelings in her heart.
Later, I accompanied her to do emotional relief training and also provided some follow-up countermeasures that could be taken. Only then did her negative emotions gradually subside and return to her usual state.
So this example is further proof that when we face a friend who is suffering because of grievances, what is really effective is to accompany, support and soothe, rather than simply preaching or ignoring their feelings. Dong Yuhui Qing Ziqing Dongfang Selection: Sun Dongxu was removed from the position of CEO
Hopefully, this article will make more people aware of this problem and take a better way to help in practice. Because everyone needs to be understood and supported when facing grievances.