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Li Xuan and I were high school classmates and have been in a relationship since high school.
Li Xuan is the kind of boy who is more introverted, and he usually doesn't like to talk, but he is very good to me.
Whether it is in my studies and Xi or in life, he has given me a lot of help and care.
We helped and encouraged each other, and agreed to get into a good university together.
After the college entrance examination, Li Xuan was admitted to a university in China as he wished, and I was admitted to a prestigious university in the United States.
Although I am very reluctant to part with Li Xuan, I still cherish this opportunity to study abroad.
So, I went to the United States to study alone. It was a lonely and challenging time.
Every day I try to Xi and try to fit into that new environment.
And my boyfriend, Li Xuan, was the only solace I had in those days.
He is my closest lover and the person I trust the most.
Although we are in a foreign country, our relationship has always been stable and we still have a heart-to-heart relationship.
We keep in touch every day, communicating about each other's lives and Xi through **, text messages or ** chats.
We often comfort each other and get through those difficult times together.
During my study abroad, I also returned to China to see Li Xuan several times, and after each meeting, our relationship became deeper.
At the last time we met, Li Xuan proposed to me, and I agreed without hesitation.
We decided to get married when I returned home after I finished studying abroad.
I've fantasized about our future countless times and look forward to the day when I can walk the red carpet with him and spend the rest of my life together.
Unexpectedly, this dream will soon come true, and I am very excited and looking forward to it.
However, I didn't expect it to be just my dream.
On the eve of my return home, a shocking piece of news almost broke me.
Li Xuan was already married, just the second year after I went to the United States.
Not only is he married, but he also has a lovely daughter.
In the past few years, he has been hiding from me, pretending to be indifferent, contacting me and complaining to me.
I can't accept this fact. In my heart, Li Xuan has always been my most loyal companion.
I can't imagine him starting a family with someone else without my knowledge.
I felt betrayed, deceived. The person I once loved was now strange and distant.
When I returned home, I angrily approached him and asked him why he had done it.
He was silent for a long time, and then told me a truth that shocked me even more.
It turned out that his wife was not someone he really liked, and he just married her for the sake of the family business.
There is no love in their marriage, only interests.
Hearing this explanation, I felt an inexplicable sense of relief.
It turned out that he still loved me, and he was just forced to make such a choice.
He also said that he has always loved me and hopes that I will give him time to marry me when he is successfully divorced.
Seeing Li Xuan like this, I can't help but forgive him.
After all, I used to ignore his feelings for the sake of my studies. I think the relationship between us can be salaged.
In this way, I still chose to be with him.
However, things didn't go as smoothly as I thought they would.
Although Li Xuan and I have restarted our relationship, there is already an irreparable rift between us.
We often quarrel over trivial matters, and what's worse is that we can only do everything secretly, for fear of being discovered.
Finally, one day, I couldn't stand this ambiguous relationship anymore.
I questioned Li Xuan again and asked him to give me a clear answer.
This time, however, his attitude was unusually cold.
He told me that he and his wife already had children and that he couldn't give up his family and daughter for me.
Although his words were full of helplessness, they were very resolute.
My heart was cold, and I knew I had been betrayed again.
It turned out that I had always been just a plaything outside of his marriage.
The sweet words he said to me were just to comfort me.
There was no longer the tenderness and sincerity in his eyes, replaced by an untouchable indifference.
I realized that I had to leave this man.
Although he used to be the person I loved the most, I knew I couldn't allow myself to be caught in such an abyss.
I chose to leave the city and find my own life.
In the years following my departure, I struggled to get myself off to a fresh start.
Although the feelings that had caused me a lot of hurt, I did not give up hope for the future.
I found a new job, made new friends, and gradually came out of that shadow.
I sometimes think about that time, but I know it's gone.
I believe that there will be better people waiting for me in the future, who will love me and take care of me with their hearts.
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