In July 1930, Lao She went to Qilu University to teach, and the city of Jinan was devastated and dilapidated.
Mr. Lao She could not hide the grief and indignation in his heart, and worked hard for half a year to create a long story "Daming Lake".
Unexpectedly, before the manuscript was about to be published, it was burned down by a fire.
The heartbroken Lao She rewrote the most wonderful part of the ** and named it"Crescent Moon".
In the book, Mr. Lao She uses a poetic tone to closely link the cloudy and sunny moons with the fate of a mother and daughter.
Mr. Ba Jin once said in an article nostalgic for Lao She: ""Crescent Moon" is Mr. Lao She's first immortal work. ”
The cold crescent moon can't hide the sadness in my heart. The dim moonlight can't hide the broken life.
When I first read it, I was deeply saddened by the degeneration of the helpless mother and daughter into prostitutes.
When I read it again, I realized that the tragedy of the times is not the original sin of a miserable life, and living is not only to beg for food, but also to have the ability to live.
Childhood, in Yuerong's mind, there are only two things that she remembers most clearly, that is, hunger and cold.
My mother took care of my father on the sickbed, and the smell of medicine filled the cramped hut. On a winter night, she stood outside the door wearing a short red cotton jacket and a blue cloth hat.
The crescent moon of the light golden light in the sky glowed with cold light and shadow. Yuerong's heart slowly burned into the original appearance of Yue'er.
Until one night, the crescent moon disappeared into the vast night as if it was lost.
In the room, the never-ending sobbing suddenly turned into bursts of heart-rending wails. After a loud noise, the people buried the father in a thin coffin far from home.
After the death of her father, her mother exhausted the tears of her life and began to live with her young moon. Although the days are miserable, the warm mother's love has always helped this impoverished family.
After hesitating, the mother sent the silver hairpin to the pawnshop. barely made ends meet for a few days, and only the bottom of the rice jar was left at home, and the dignity of life was gone.
Mother went to wash people's clothes, and her thin back trembled slightly in the moonlit night, and even the crescent moon in the sky was tilted to one side. The dirty laundry that can't be washed, and the stinky socks of the guys, make her hands like fish scales.
Even if you have endless energy, you can't fill your hungry stomach.
One dark night, the crescent moon opened a faint gap, and the mother sat in a red sedan chair and remarried.
The stepfather treats them well, the mother gradually has a smile on her face, and Yuerong can continue to go to school. However, the bliss of the sudden visit did not last long. The stepfather left quietly, leaving the mother and daughter in a desperate situation.
The uncertain number of lives completely crushed all the hopes of the mother.
The mother leaned against the door with a flower on her head, and became a secret prostitute.
The life that was exchanged for the sold self-esteem made Yuerong ashamed and afraid. My mother is old, and her unspeakable tenderness seems to have become a kind of irony.
The intimacy between blood relatives also left only a thin breath. Yuerong is unwilling to face such a life, let alone such a mother.
This time, the mother spoke, and she was going to entrust the rest of her days to a steamed bun shopkeeper.
Yuerong knew that from now on, she would never have a mother again.
Gibran wrote in The Sand and the Foam: "Even the noblest soul cannot escape the needs of the flesh." ”
Mother's love can exhaust everything, but it is difficult to fill an empty belly. No matter how gentle the blessing is, it can't open up the way out of life.
People who are really capable will not look for an umbrella, but for a path. If you go the right way, life will be smooth.
A person always has to endure a long period of hardship, endure countless pains, and temper a hard heart in order to accumulate the confidence to live.
After her mother left, Yuerong, who graduated from school, couldn't find a job and had no place to stay.
The kind-hearted headmistress took her in and let her live in the school for a while, where she could do some copying and weave for a small income.
Breaking my fingers and counting the days, no matter how hard it is, I have come over a little bit.
But not long after, a new principal came to the school, and Yuerong was homeless again.
She decided to bite the bullet and ask the headmistress for help. The principal was not at home, and a man who claimed to be her nephew received Yuerong.
This man with a gentle and elegant smile intimately prepared a place for her to live, shhhhhh
The ignorant and ignorant moon is not only pinned on the fantasy of love, but also faintly painful for her acquiescence.
The long-awaited glimmer of spring is just a cold sorrow covered by a crescent moon.
Although there was no worry about food and clothing, the extremely disgraceful days came to an abrupt end with the arrival of a woman who looked like a "porcelain man".
It turned out that she was the wife of Ming Media, and Yuerong was just a canary. What is desperate is that the long-lost freedom has come, but it has also broken the wings that it relies on.
Yuerong didn't allow herself to follow her mother's old path anymore, and she decided to go out and try her luck.
However, a woman's way out is nothing more than the fate of marrying or being sold. Even if you can support yourself as a hostess, you still can't resist the harassment of diners and the abuse of the owner.
If it is said that the ill-intentioned man makes Yuerong angry, then another chance encounter with the "porcelain man" makes her see the reality clearly.
It turned out that her husband had disappeared again. The complaining little daughter-in-law, chattering about her husband's infidelity, envied Yuerong's freedom.
The freedom of being homeless and the freedom to be bullied by others is almost like Ling Chi for Yuerong. In the eyes of others, there is still room for sale at a price, but it is worth celebrating.
The brilliance of the crescent moon could not break through the shadow of black oppression, and the belief that Yuerong had adhered to for many years collapsed in an instant at this moment.
In this life, if you want to break free from the cocoon of fate, you will eventually have to take a road that you can't hide. It's just that some people choose to forge a new path, while others want to repeat the same mistakes on the old road.
And Yuerong belongs to the latter, and she decides to tie her precarious fate tightly to a group of drunk, rude and rude men, and live like a mother.
Guan Zi once said: "Cang Liao knows etiquette and knows honor and disgrace when he has enough food and clothing." ”
In this world, what is more terrible than imprisoning people's hearts is the loss of the idea of living. The defeated belief finally ripped off the last fig leaf of human nature: the bottom line that was missing overnight was just an excuse for self-indulgence.
A person's greatest ability, the more desperate he is, the more he must stick to himself.
Because, only by keeping the bottom line can you live with peace of mind.
The crescent moon will eventually fall and rise again.
Yuerong's business is surprisingly good. The once shy and beautiful girl gradually looked indifferent and degenerated into a dusty woman.
Her familiar and experienced experience makes her cope with it with ease, and no one can take advantage of her.
Yue Rong knows, "No matter who it is, money is always better than people, money can not only make people bad, but money can also make people do things they don't want to do." ”
The world is desolate, and the smell of money shakes the heart's desire. Yuerong did not hesitate to sell his body again and again, abandoned his self-esteem, desperately compromised, and mixed his blood and tears into the wind and frost.
After a long time, Yuerong fell ill, and could only look at the sky, quietly waiting for death to come.
My mother, whom she hadn't seen for many years, knocked softly on the closed door one morning. Yuerong laughed maniacally, and her mother was abandoned again.
The folds of the years, except for a look of old age, have left nothing of value.
The mother and daughter could no longer think of a way to live, they compromised again and again, and finally could not escape the fate of being abandoned.
didn't have time to swallow the grievances and embarrassment, and the mother began to call her daughter indifferently, changing the law to continue the "money bag" of the mother and daughter's life. It didn't take long for Yuerong's sick body to no longer be able to scrape the extra copper plates.
The days seem to have returned to the beginning, in the dark moonlit night, the crescent moon is quietly sprinkled with a layer of silver light. And this lonely mother and daughter waited for a futile effort.
Until Yuerong was arrested by the patrol police and sent to a reformatory, her fate seemed to have taken a turn for the better.
There were kind instructors who taught her to change her mind and learn to be some female workers. But this ability to "support oneself" can neither support oneself nor support one's family, and Yuerong can't help but laugh dumbly.
The best way out is for someone to be willing to pay a fee of two yuan to "rescue" poor women with stains from here.
Compromise or struggle, at this point it loses its meaning. When her superiors came to inspect the penitentiary, Yuerong took the opportunity to spit on the hideous-looking man, and the enraged crowd threw her into prison.
Looking out the window at the sky, the white and flawless crescent moon still hangs there. The hardships that Yuerong had endured were diluted by half a point in an instant, and it seemed that it was not so bitter.
Shakespeare once said:"People can sometimes control their own destiny. If you are controlled by others, the fault is not in fate, but in yourself. ”
Once people lose the courage to fight against fate and blindly compromise to the end, they will only make themselves have no way out.
Those who accommodate their desires and choose to back down are eventually swept up by the torrent of fate and drift with the flow.
In this life, if you survive the most difficult days, your fate will become good-looking.
Mr. Lao She once felt: "After "Daming Lake" was burned, I forgot all the other plots without regret, but I can't forget this paragraph. ”
The helplessness of the dilemma, the dignity and independence of the **, to this day, the tragic fate of the mother and daughter is still heavy and suffocating.
The moon is cloudy and sunny, and people are also in adversity.
The meaning of being alive is far more than survival, and true living is to learn to live on your own forever.
The powerless weak seem to be longing for a glimmer of light in the cracks of darkness. And the strong man who regained his original intention firmly moved from the abyss step by step to the smooth road.
Instead of complaining about the darkness and covering up the pain, we should try our best to embrace the light.
In the world of impermanence, the ability to live is a person's greatest ability.