Hello everyone, I'm Rufan's mother
Mo Yan said:
Don't sympathize with anyone, even the closest people, whoever you sympathize with will subconsciously and automatically bear whose fate.Mo Yan's words, at first glance, will feel that they are a bit contrary to our previous cognition.Don't carry the fate of others, shoulder your own mission first, have full wings, and then help others when you have the spare power.
Otherwise, you will only drag yourself into the water, which seems to be wronged, but in fact it is ignorant.
Doesn't it always tell us to be compassionate?But here it is said that even the closest people should not be sympathetic?
But when I saw the last two sentences, I realized that it seemed to make sense.
Be sympathetic to others and help others when they need them, but you can't take the responsibility of others on your own.
Do you think that if you do this, others will be grateful to you?
In fact, the result may be the opposite, you do not respect the independence of others, and the need for self-growth, and you may end up incurring resentment from others.
Eat a trench, grow a wisdom.
You helped him carry it this time, causing him to lose a chance to learn Xi.
The next time something goes wrong, you still help him carry it, but he still hasn't learned how to face, deal with, and solve the problem.
Do you have to help him carry it for the rest of his life?
If you can't help him carry it for the rest of his life, then you are harming him, causing him to lose the ability to learn Xi, grow, and face difficulties alone.
Everyone has their own mission, and they have their own mission.
Since you can't be responsible for the rest of your life, let them go and let them break their heads and bleed, so that they can grow and get the skills they need to complete their mission.
On the other hand, if you want to help others, you have to wait until you have the spare energy to help others.
This reminds me of the matter of wearing oxygen masks on the plane, and the safety guidance says: make sure you wear your own oxygen masks first, and then help the elderly and children around you bring them.
The same is true for our company's safety education, if you encounter any safety accidents, you must first ensure your own personal safety, and then you have spare energy to help others.
Don't sacrifice yourself for the sake of others, this is not allowed and not encouraged.
The same goes for both. 
From Mo Yan's words, I realized itScaleTwo words.
So how to grasp this scale between sympathy, giving it a go, and helping others after having the spare strength?
1. Set boundaries:
While empathizing with others, we need to set certain boundaries and avoid being overly involved in the lives of others. This helps us to maintain compassion while preventing ourselves from carrying too much on the fate of others.
2. Positive guidance:
We can influence and help others through positive behaviors and attitudes. For example, by providing resources, sharing experiences, and encouraging self-growth, we can help others find their own direction and strength.
3. Take care of yourself
We should pay attention to our own needs and emotions, maintain physical and mental health, and realize our self-worth. We can only help others better when we are full of energy ourselves.
4. Cultivate inner strength:
Cultivating inner strength through inner cultivation and self-awareness enables us to remain calm and steadfast in the face of the difficulties of others, so that we can better shoulder our own mission and provide strong support to others.
Every family has a scripture that is difficult to read, and everyone has their own life issues.
Don't interfere too much in other people's issues, but you can help others when you become strong enough.
If you succeed first and then help others, this kind of help will be more meaningful. 