Here's what a reader wrote:
When I was 23 years old and my husband was 38 years old, we met at a dinner organized by a friend, and then my husband started to contact me one-way. At that time, I knew that he belonged to a family man, but my husband was handsome, and the key was that he had a strong ability to earn money, so I did not refuse my husband's overtures. At the beginning of my relationship with my husband as a lover, I was true in my heart: with my own appearance, I asked my husband to buy me a house. In fact, this wish of mine came true when I was dating my husband for about half a year.
Or people's hearts sometimes show greed, or two people will precipitate true feelings after being together for a long time. So much so that I had a bolder idea: to squeeze my husband's wife out of my husband's side, and I became my husband's legitimate wife from then on. With this in mind, I was able to stop my relationship with my husband and became pregnant. In this case, my husband offered 500,000 yuan in exchange for asking me to dispose of the child, but I insisted on giving birth to the child. Faced with such a situation, the husband can only choose to divorce his ex-wife.
When the husband divorced his ex-wife, he transferred all the assets in his name to his ex-wife's name. It means that after the husband divorced his ex-wife, although he was still in charge of his company, from a legal point of view, he was just a senior white-collar worker working for his ex-wife.
When my husband and I were 3 months old, I forced my husband and I to get a marriage license. But I could clearly feel that my husband was no longer as enthusiastic about me as I was when I was his lover, and what was even more excessive: my husband often spent the night at his ex-wife's house on the pretext that he missed him and his ex-wife's children.
My husband is actually quite kind to our children, but he is a little repulsive to me, and even sometimes when I take the initiative to communicate with him, he will be impatient, and my husband is now working for his ex-wife, so I no longer have happiness in this married life, and I am extremely insecure. Therefore, I often reflect on one thing: was it a wrong decision to force my husband to marry me with my children? I want to ask, in the face of such a marriage, what should I do?
Mu Zi Li emotion**:
There was a popular saying on the Internet: A twisted melon is not sweet, but it quenches your thirst. When you first hear this sentence, you may feel that there is some truth, but it can't stand the scrutiny of time, after all, in a relationship, if you can't form a situation of your affection, it is difficult for married life to develop in the direction of happiness. There is also a phenomenon in life: mothers are more expensive than children. In the form of monogamous marriage, many people will basically choose to divorce their lover and legal lover after getting involved in an extramarital affair and getting their lover pregnant. It's not that he is willing to go away from his original married life, but that the lover is unwilling to dispose of the child, which makes it difficult for the cheater to ride the tiger, which means that the lover uses the child as a bargaining chip to cause the cheating man to divorce and have an element of persecution.
Why do some men get along harmoniously with a woman when they get along with each other as lovers, but once they divorce for their lover, it makes the relationship worse? 1) There is still an essential difference between a lover and a lover, when choosing a lover, most people go to the extreme of appearance or money, in such a relationship, the exchange of wealth and color, each takes the required components is stronger; In the process of managing a marriage, people will consider many factors; 2) Even if it is a cheater, he will not examine his private life at all, but he will feel that the person who is willing to be his lover has a disorderly private life; 3) Although he has cheated on him, he has no idea of divorce, if it is not because the third party is pregnant, he will not consider getting out of the siege, so after the divorce, he will blame the third party for the result of the divorce.
People sometimes imagine love as too simple and think that as long as their appearance is attractive to each other, they can make their married life happy after starting a family with each other. In fact, the age difference between husband and wife, whether the two parties can get a good run-in at the level of life Xi, whether they can get along with other members of the other half's family, whether the husband and wife have a sense of mutual contribution, and whether their ability to do housework or earning money can be recognized by the other half will be indicators that cannot be ignored in the process of managing marriage. For this reason, we will see the following phenomena: 1) some people have to face the result of breaking up after establishing a relationship for a period of time; 2) After many years of marriage, the result of divorce was obtained.
Nowadays, there are many women who live like this: 1) When spending men's money, they will emphasize to men that you are the pillar of the family; 2) When men ask you to do housework, you are particularly repulsive, and then you theorize with men about equality between men and women. I want to say that very few men can do it all when it comes to earning money and doing housework. It means that when maintaining a relationship, husband and wife should achieve a situation where they have money to contribute and no money to contribute, rather than forming a sense of déjà vu that they are being supported by men. What we need to understand: maybe your other half does have the strength to support you, but if you live as a posture of being supported by the other party, the other party will feel psychologically unbalanced. In this case, the truth of the other party's heart: Anyway, it's all support, why not look for a younger and more beautiful one?
The reason why your husband took the initiative to provoke you in the first place was because he was rich and thought you were young and beautiful. In the process of dating you as a lover, he is actually quite generous to you: after half a year of dating, he gave you a house. What he knew about you at the time: love money, not much. However, with the deepening of your relationship, you have a more greedy idea: the junior is on top. This means that by the time you are pregnant and unwilling to dispose of the child, your husband has started to get tired of you. But faced with an innocent life, he had to make the decision to divorce his ex-wife and live with you. Obviously, this is not what your husband was hoping for. In the face of persecuted feelings, your husband will naturally not show enthusiasm in front of you.
My advice on the direction of your marriage with your husband is: divorce. The reasons I gave: 1) When your husband divorced his ex-wife, he transferred all the property in his name to his ex-wife's name, which means that he has no intention of living with you sincerely; 2) When you and your husband's child was 3 months old, in the face of your persecution, your husband reluctantly obtained a marriage certificate with you (don't you think that there is no wedding, for a woman, it is a more regrettable thing); 3) Your husband often spends the night at his ex-wife's house, which also reflects one thing, in your husband's cognition, he can only really come home when he comes to his ex-wife. The wisest thing to do now is to take the initiative to file for divorce and get some money, otherwise, by the time your husband takes the initiative to file for divorce, you probably won't even be able to get the money.
Editor's note: Many times, we focus on our own grievances, but when we have done things that hurt others in exchange for today's grievances, should we clearly realize that all our current grievances are deserved? For this reason, as a person in a third party's upper position, when you are wronged, you should have this empathy: When you once snatched the other party away from his legitimate lover, did you consider the feelings of his lover and children?
Although some skills are required in the process of acquiring love, the love that fits in is often the product of your love and my willingness. If you play some tricks that disgust the other party and forcibly stay with you, then the other party is easy to rebel in the process of managing the marriage. Don't you think that the person who keeps the other party can't get the other party's heart, it's also a sad situation?
Marriage **from the Internet, **unrelated)