In the world of emotions, quarrels are inevitable. However, the words spoken during an argument can cause profound damage to the relationship. Let's think about the three sentences in the quarrel, have you ever hurt your loved one?
The first sentence: verbal accusations.
When we have a problem, blame is often the emotion that comes to mind the most. However, blaming rarely solves the problem, but often exacerbates the hurt and distances each other. In intimate relationships, words of reproach often become poison that hurts each other's hearts. We should learn to face our partner's mistakes with tolerance and comfort, instead of blindly blaming and criticizing. When dealing with conflicts, understanding and tolerance are better options.
When we can empathize and understand the problem from the other person's point of view, we often find the other side of the matter. Because everyone is unique, it is not easy to understand each other's hearts. Quarreling is a way to communicate with each other, a way to express oneself and convey concern. But if words in an argument hurt like a sharp blade, the scars left behind are often difficult to heal. Therefore, as we learn to face problems with an understanding and tolerant attitude, we are also slowly improving our relationship.
Second sentence: passive resistance.
In an argument, the other person's indifference and indifferent response can often be doubly sad. Emotional neglect is a kind of injury that consumes each other's emotional stock and can eventually lead to the breakdown of the relationship. In an argument, we need to learn to listen and care about each other's emotions instead of treating them with indifference. Emotional communication and understanding are the bonds that maintain the relationship, allowing us to warm each other's hearts with more care and understanding.
In daily interactions, we can also try to be more proactive and caring, so that the other party can feel that we care. Perhaps in a busy work, a short greeting message or a sudden surprise can make the other party feel the warmth of being cared for. Because in intimate relationships, there is a kind of harm called "emotional neglect". To put it simply, it is to deliberately ignore, ignore, and ignore the emotions and needs of the other party. But ignoring the other person's emotions and feelings when quarreling is undoubtedly consuming the stock of feelings. Therefore, as we learn to treat each other with more care and understanding, we are also slowly improving our relationship.
The third sentence: negative repression.
In intimate relationships, denial and repression are often a devastating force. Long-term nitpicking and denial can make the other person feel suffocated and decide to run away from his wife. Since then, he would rather work overtime in the unit than go home, and the relationship between the two has become worse than before. Blind denial and suppression will not only fail to meet one's inner needs, but will deepen the boredom of the other party and lose their care and love for each other.
Externally, it creates a haze, devours the energy of the other party, and makes the other party become inferior and tired;Internally, it is easy to make yourself narrow-minded and mean, full of resentment and irritability. After all, no one is a masochist, and no one wants to go near those who suppress and deny themselves. In interpersonal interactions, we often unconsciously express our thoughts in a negative way, which is almost an instinctive reaction. However, learning to guide the other person with words of praise and affirmation requires us to consciously cultivate this positive communication skill.
In family and relationships, giving more support and affirmation to each other will make the relationship more satisfying and healthy. As we learn to treat each other with more support and affirmation, we are slowly improving our relationship.
In quarrels, we need to learn to express our demands and love correctly, instead of treating each other with hurt and denial. Let's manage our relationships with more understanding and tolerance, and let love be the compass in our quarrels and lead us to a better future.
When we can learn to express our demands and love correctly in a fight, we are slowly improving our relationship. As Christopher Meng says in his book Intimacy: "The real solution to a quarrel is for both parties to let their inner pain surface and then deal with it in a healthy way." ”
Many times, it is not the quarrel that destroys a relationship, but the bad words that come out of the fight. Therefore, as we learn to treat each other with more understanding and tolerance, we are also slowly improving our relationship.
Learning to quarrel is a compulsory course for managing feelings. The correct quarrel should be to express one's own demands, rather than accusing, perfunctory and denying the other party. From today on, you might as well express "me" more when you quarrel, blame "you" less, quarrel well, and love each other slowly!
As we learn to treat each other with more understanding and tolerance, we are slowly improving our relationship. Let's manage our relationships with more understanding and tolerance, and let love be the compass in our quarrels and lead us to a better future.