Childhood The original family should not be your fate

Mondo Psychological Updated on 2024-01-31

In 1913, the former Soviet writer Gorky put an end to his autobiography ** "Childhood", but his mind could not be calmed for a long time.

Because this book is based on Gorky, the protagonist Alyosha, in order to record the cruelty and truth of the old Russian society in the seventies and eighties of the nineteenth century.

Alyosha was born into a broken family and grew up in an environment rife with violence.

In the world, he is like a weed in the cracks, surviving in difficulties and growing in pain.

But in the face of the misfortune of fate and the sorrow of the times, should people be willing to fall and sink forever?

Alyosha used his own experience to convey the answer, which made people wake up:

We can't customize our destiny, but we can live our lives in our own way.

The original family has never been a person's fate.

Everyone, can not choose their own origin

The beginning of the story is to start with misfortune.

When the protagonist Alyosha was 3 years old, his father died of cholera.

Ignorant, he looked at his father's cold body and his mother, who kept crying, and forgot how to cry for a while.

A cholera shattered the originally happy family, and Alyosha instantly became a child without his father's protection.

His mother was too sad to take care of him, so she sent him to his grandmother's house.

And this was only the beginning of his tragic fate.

In Alyosha's memory, there was almost no laughter in her grandmother's house, only endless noise, shouting, and threats to each other.

His grandfather was tyrannical, brutal, and stingy, and he was furious at every turn.

Once, Alyosha was severely beaten by her grandfather for dyeing the tablecloth in her home blue.

My grandfather was very heavy, and Alyosha was beaten and lay in bed for several days without moving.

He also had two uncles who completely inherited his grandfather's character.

In order to compete for the family property, they often fight in the family, and even fantasize about killing their father so that they can get the family property earlier.

The uncles never regarded Alyosha as a human being, and from time to time they would beat him severely.

Childhood, which was supposed to be carefree and full of joy, was full of darkness and cruelty in Alyosha's eyes.

There is a line in the movie "Heartbeat":"This world is not fair, some people are in the gutter, some people live in high-rise buildings;Some people are bare, some people are rusty. ”

None of us has the right to choose a family.

Some people are born with mud, wind and rain everywhere, and their entire childhood is shrouded in darkness.

Some may be lucky enough to be redeemed, but they will never be able to come out of the shadows for the rest of their lives.

Every step they take in the world, they stumble and walk on thin ice.

Accepting an imperfect family is the hardest part of the practice

Psychologist Frank Cadler said, "One of the most unfortunate facts of life is that most of the first great tribulations we suffer come from family. ”

His time at his grandfather's house was very painful and depressing, and many years later he called this unbearable past "hell on earth".

The embarrassment of life, the unprovoked beatings, and the indifference of his family became a lingering shadow in Alyosha's heart.

But even though life was so unbearable, Alyosha never complained about fate and blamed her mother, but tried to understand her mother's helplessness.

A mother's life is full of tragedy and suffering.

During her childhood, she was often beaten and scolded by her grumpy father, and her two brothers were also cold and ruthless to her, eager to kick her out of the house so that they could take her share of the family property for themselves.

When she grew up, she finally found someone she loved, but she didn't expect her husband to die suddenly.

Occasionally, when the mother was in a good mood, she would patiently teach Alyosha to read and praise her son.

She would also worry that Alyosha was not dressed well and that she was not eating well.

Once, when the foreigner was beating Alyosha severely, he happened to be bumped into by his mother, who shouted angrily at his grandfather, which prevented Alyosha from being beaten further.

But when faced with the mess of life, she began to become cold and detached again, which made Alyosha panic.

But it was also the alienation of his mother that forged Alyosha's ability to survive independently, even if all his relatives left in the future, he could still live on his own.

In fact, love is instinctive, but also a skill that needs to be learned.

Parents are also first-time parents, they may not know how to express their love for you correctly, they may be clumsy and weak, but that is the environment in which they grew up.

There is a saying: "Instead of complaining, disgusting, or even hating your parents, you should understand and accept your parents' imperfections." ”

There are no perfect parents, and everyone has their own weaknesses and scars.

Maybe their love makes us unable to understand and accept it when we are in the midst of it, but one day, we will suddenly discover the deep affection hidden in it.

Life is not easy for anyone, please try to accept the limitations and shortcomings of your parents and reconcile with your past.

Only by not complaining, not blaming, letting go of the past and letting go of what should be let go, can life pass through the wind and rain, heal the hurt, and finally meet the dawn.

The original family owes you, and you have to win it back yourself

In Alyosha's dim and obscure childhood, thanks to the positive guidance given to him by his kind grandmother, Alyosha did not collapse.

Grandma would make up warm stories and tell them to AlyoshaThey will help those who are homeless on the streets.

So the optimistic and resolute grandmother made the young Alyosha gradually begin to understand: although we cannot choose our origin, we can choose any way to live.

In the hard days, Alyosha also constantly absorbed the nutrients of growth from the surroundings.

His warm grandmother taught him to be kind to others;The lonely tenant taught him to observe life attentively.

Every day, he and his childhood playmates walk the streets and alleys to scavenge waste to support his family.

From the garbage heap, Alyosha also picked up the treasure - books, which made him feel as if he had opened the door to a new world, and then he fell in love with reading.

In a life full of sludge, Alyosha and his grandmother found their own starry sky.

The future of Alyosha in the book is the later Gorky.

The experiences of his childhood and his later drift to the bottom of life accumulated rich material for his writing, which eventually made him a world-renowned writer.

There is a sentence in the movie "Wind and Rain Harvard Road": "People are not without choices, you can find all kinds of excuses for yourself to bow to life, or you can force yourself to create a better life." ”

Because the family of origin is a person's roots, but it is not a person's only way out, although we cannot choose our origin, we can choose how to live this life.

As long as you don't give up on yourself, as long as you do your best, this world will never let down every soul who works hard.

George Bernard Shaw once said, "The people who can stand in this world and survive are those who stand up and find the situation they want, and those who create it if they can't find it." ”

Alyosha's original family has no warmth, no love, only a mess and endless darkness.

But he did not use the suffering of his childhood and the poor family of origin as an excuse for his depravity.

Although he didn't choose to forgive, he learned to let go and walked out of his own broad road.

In fact, the family of origin is only the starting point of life, and how the ending is written depends more on us.

So, don't let the rest of your life sink because of an imperfect beginning, an unbearable past.

Only by not being entangled in your background, not complaining about the past, and maintaining an upward growth posture can you have the opportunity to find a way out of life and achieve a counterattack at the bottom.

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