01.Into his heart
Just one Barnum effect is needed and you'll be able to reunite with the broken mirror.
Seriously, after breaking up with your ex, it's very difficult for you to get him back by expressing love.
But if you can find some angles to enter his heart, so that he feels that you can understand him and understand him, then you can become an irreplaceable existence in his life, and he is naturally very likely to fall in love with you again.
This is where the Barnum effect comes in.
The Barnum Effect
The point is: people always identify with general descriptions, and feel that they are accurately speaking their minds. In fact, this is to take advantage of the fact that people are "easily suggested", if you have come across some divination tarots and the like.
You will think that he is very accurate, in fact, because what he tells you is a basic trait that the public has: you are strong on the surface, but in fact you are very fragile on the inside, and you are also afraid of getting hurt.
You also have a stubborn temper occasionally, and you are a very willed person. If they can calculate these accurately, then can he also calculate today's lottery results?
United front, go and praise him
Therefore, people will always believe what they want to believe, and will take the initiative to find evidence for this thing. So what would the ex be willing to believe?Of course, it's good to him, and saying that he's good can bring him benefits.
So after the breakup, don't tell him how much you can't let go of him, but tell him: You are a person who has the ability to make it difficult for people to let go once they like it.
Don't tell him: If there is any problem, just say it, we can solve it, don't hold it in your heart, and don't run away.
You have to tell him: I feel that you would rather hide your emotions in your own heart, digest and solve them by yourself, rather than trouble others, and you will feel very tired all the time.
Don't ask him why he gave up your relationship so easily, but say: Maybe you are also a person who is more idealistic about feelings, unwilling to make do with each other, and don't want to torture each other, so you choose to cut through the mess quickly, I can understand it.
You have to make him feel that you are on the same side as him, not standing opposite him, always ready to persuade and redeem, so that he can let his guard down, because no one will refuse the sincere understanding and appreciation of others.
Control demand and stabilize mentality
And if you want to get to this point, you have to stay calm, don't go crazy to release your sense of need, only when the mind is stable, can you use a rational mind to observe the characteristics of him.
If you're overly keen on using the Barnum Effect to trick him, it's hard for him to be moved by you.
If you do all the above, there is a high probability that your ex will come to talk to you, pour out his emotions, and say something from the heart.
At this time, don't try to refute, refutation will die, you have to affirm him, even if you don't agree, you have to express your understanding and tolerance.
At least we are willing to give him a space to release now, he can get comfort from you, and we can carry on with the subsequent recovery.
Synchronize frequencies to increase trust
Here's a quick trick to gain his trust, which is to "sync his pace".
What does that mean?That is, you have to be sensitive to the keywords he frequently uses when communicating with you.
If it's his mantra, you can use it inadvertently in the future, and he will feel more familiar with you, worthy of being someone who once loved each other!This will also increase your recognition a little bit.
If it reveals his current preferences, for example, he likes snow mountains, you can extend the topic from the snow mountains, such as Yulong Snow Mountain, Gongga Mountain, Nanga Bawa, etc., or Lijiang, **, etc., climbing, travel, customs and customs.
You can choose to continue to discuss these topics with him, and if you play well, your topic can guide and stimulate his emotions, and feelings are built through chatting.
So don't be afraid, his words and deeds can definitely reveal information to you, all you have to do is sift through the information and find the focus.
Get through this step, and the relationship between the two of you will come naturally, so don't scare yourself if you have nothing to do, but if you have that thought, let's just work hard towards the goal and it's over.