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A marriage expert once profoundly pointed out that young people nowadays not only get married and have low willingness to have children, but even those who are married have a new type of abnormal marriage relationship: sexless and loveless.
This kind of sexless and loveless marriage is more like a "friendship marriage", which pursues a kind of emotional sharing and responsibility sharing, and some people even say that this kind of sexless and loveless marriage is happier than traditional marriage.
Is this really the case?Is a sexless and loveless "friendship marriage" really happier?
Love and sex are not necessary
The main feature of the new type of marriage is that the husband and wife are not attached to sex and love, which will inevitably break the consensus of many people. But is sexless and loveless still called marriage?
A marriage expert in Japan believes that friendship marriage is also a kind of marriage, but the husband and wife have eliminated the ** relationship.
Some people also believe that "friendship marriage" is just a formal form of marriage, where the two parties only live together stably, and the two parties maintain a rational agreement without crossing the line, and pursue a kind of inner freedom and independence.
Sexless and loveless friendship marriage is based on friendship, having the same hobbies and life pursuits, in short, like-minded interests. These people don't want to be constrained by the constraints of traditional marriage.
In fact, for this kind of marriage to last, it needs a more refined and broader consensus.
For example, when living together, it is necessary to clarify who washes the dishes, who cooks, who washes clothes, and how to share the utility billsThese need to be agreed.
Young couples) Moreover, in a sexless and loveless marriage, there is a deeper question, whether the other party is allowed to have other sexual partners
Since both parties only live together on the basis of friendship, it is necessary to accept that the other party has sex outside of the "family".
Otherwise, the so-called friendship marriage will not be established and will not be happy.
Since friendship marriage also has many restrictions, why do young people still choose this kind of friendship marriage now?
Many experts believe that this is the result of a change in people's mindset brought about by social development.
The change in perception behind friendship marriage
A Japanese family has conducted a survey on modern people's concept of marriage and love, and some people who are willing to accept friendship marriage, some are homosexuals, some have a strong sense of dedication, and some are just to prevent loneliness and want to find someone to pursue a more successful life together.
There is also a large part of the population that is only there to meet the expectations of their parents and those around them, which is especially evident in modern society.
Young couples).Almost 90% of women say that they have been single, and when they reach a certain age, they will always be urged to marry by their parents and friends, so in order to give their parents an explanation, they are willing to choose a sexless and loveless friendship marriage.
Some young people have completely changed their mindset, and not only are they not married, but they are also reluctant to have children.
Some young netizens bluntly said in the investigation that after entering a friendship marriage, they must not have real behavior, let alone have children.
If you want to raise a child, two people will adopt one.
They even proposed that even if they raise children, they should be raised by two people, and all expenses should be subject to the AA system.
There is no doubt that friendship marriage gives those who are not married an additional choice, they can not only hide from the eyes of the world, but also have an additional companionship on the road of life.
Conflicting couples).
There are also some people who choose to marry in friendship, mainly because they are not confident in their own abilities, and they are not able to deal with various conflicts and disputes and life difficulties after marriage.
Some people are afraid of dealing with complicated family relationships, and they don't even know how to deal with their parents-in-law and seven aunts and eight aunts after marriage.
Instead of living in fear, it is better to only treat your partner as a friend, so that you don't have to deal with those complicated relationships.
Can friendship marriages really be happy?
However, friendship marriage is not completely irresponsible, and it also takes more effort to make friendship marriage last longer and be happier.
In fact, friendship marriage is more like an agreement relationship, and in order for this agreement to be effective for a long time, both parties need to abide by the agreement together, so that the other party always trusts and relies on themselves.
For example, in Japan, there is a girl named Xiaohui who has experienced a failed friendship marriage.
Her friendship marriage partner is a very clean man, and what is even more commendable is that this man is frank and enthusiastic, which is very in line with Xiaohui's mate selection criteria.
However, during a trip to the countryside, she questioned her husband.
Due to the congestion when changing modes of transportation, the trip was delayed, and her husband arrogantly said that the quality of the countrymen was poor.
This detail made Xiaohui very disgusted.
Also, after getting married, Xiaohui found that her husband had a serious cleanliness habit, and there were several air purifiers in almost every room, and several bottles of disinfectant were stored in the corners of the house.
Quarrels between husband and wife).
This friendship marriage did not last long, and Xiaohui decisively terminated the marriage.
In fact, friendship marriage is the same as normal marriage, but many people idealize it.
No one can completely avoid the contradictions and conflicts of disharmony in the relationship between the sexes, and friendship marriage seems to be more demanding than normal marriage.
No matter what kind of marriage, you need to be in harmony with each other and reach a spiritual compromise.
Get free from your constraints and be a better version of yourself
Those who choose to marry in friendship often pursue spiritual freedom, and eventually they find that in order to truly achieve freedom, in the final analysis, they need to compromise themselves and achieve spiritual harmony with each other.
Single women) No matter what kind of marriage everyone chooses, they first need to know what they really want. If you just want to end being single, you can temporarily form a friendship marriage to escape the eyes of the world.
There are also those who believe that they need to find someone to walk together on a better path, so as not to be too lonely.
However, some experts point out that everyone will eventually go the road to singleness.
Our parents will leave us, our children will fly away, and our loved ones will end their journey with us.
Perhaps, the most important thing we should do is to make ourselves more independent and stronger, ready to be single at any time, and ready to deal with all kinds of difficult challenges. That's what is best for yourself.
Couples at the wedding).
Nowadays, with the development of the times, starting a family seems to be no longer a necessary choice for everyone, and not everyone is suitable for starting a family. Some of these people are pursuing careers, while others prefer to let themselves go.
They are not easily swayed by other people's evaluations, and only look for their own most comfortable state. At any age, at any stage, they can always find a clear place for themselves.
Hui Yinghong, the double actress of the Academy Awards and the Golden Horse Awards, was still single until the age of 63, and there was no age anxiety in her, even if she was in her 60s, she was still pursuing the peak of her career.
Hui Yinghong has set an example for women's independence, if she cares too much about other people's evaluations and visions, she will definitely not be able to go to the peak of her acting career without distractions.
From this, it is not difficult to see that no matter what form of marriage you choose, you need to maintain your independence, and only in this way can you achieve spiritual harmony.
Everyone has the right to choose their own state of life, as long as life is full and satisfied, self-consistent and joyful, you can win your own beautiful life.