Li Di is 48 years old, and her son is 25 years old, and after graduating from university, he entered a state-owned enterprise. This made her feel that she could finally stop working so hard, because her son had come out and she could enjoy it leisurely.
However, she never expected that her son would yell at her because of the affairs at his girlfriend's family: "Don't you think about me?" Do you just want me to bear it alone? Haven't you thought about my happiness? ”
At that moment, Li Di felt a heartache and almost suffocated. She trembled and asked, "Am I fighting alone?" Who the hell am I working for? ”
Son Gao Sheng cried bitterly and said: "Mom, I know your hard work, I have seen you so hard since I was a child. I swear that I will never let my wife suffer the slightest grievance in the slightest. Am I wrong about doing so? ”
Li Di couldn't help laughing: "You watched me work hard to raise you, but vowed to give your wife a completely different life, haha, you read this book really well." ”
Her subject was still crying there, and said, "Auntie, I'm helpless too, please don't blame Gao Sheng." The bride price we agreed on before was 150,000, but now you plan to give only 880,000, how can I explain it to my parents? ”
Her collapse made tears drip down in large quantities, and Gao Sheng kept comforting her distressedly, patting her on the back and saying, "Rourou, don't be sad, it's okay, I'll be here, don't care what your mother said, she's just a little emotional." ”
Although Li Di listened to her son's comfort, she hadn't spoken yet, but at this time Rourou continued: "Auntie, when I started getting along with Gao Sheng, I mentioned to him that my father was injured at work and is now barely able to take care of himself, but he can't work anymore. I also have a younger brother who is about to face the college entrance examination. ”
Rourou continued: "Auntie, I didn't deceive Gao Sheng, these are all things he said. You are a very kind person and know that raising a child is not easy, and you can certainly understand my situation. Now I want to discuss with you that I can give 2,000 yuan a month to my family for my family, which is the best way we can think of at present. ”
Gao Sheng persuaded Rourou: "Don't cry, don't cry." My mother will agree to what you say, and besides, the family's money will be earned by us in the future, not hers. Don't be too upset. ”
Li Di looked at his son, who had been raising him alone for twenty years, and really didn't know when he began to become like this. After leaving home since he went to college, it has been two years since he returned from work, and he has started to get busy and have a partner.
She really didn't want to face these things anymore, so she simply said directly: "You can go, how much bride price to give, how to arrange the purchase of a house, and how much money your mother's family gives every month, it is no longer up to me to manage, it is completely up to you to decide." ”
Li Di said lightly: "You can go." I'm tired and I need to rest. ”
Rourou said loudly in disbelief: "Auntie, how can you be so irresponsible? If you don't give a bride price, how can Gao Sheng be rich? Besides, wasn't the bride price for marriage from the parents? It's not like he doesn't have parents...”
Li Di said indifferently: "I have fulfilled my responsibility to raise him and provide him with education, and it will be up to you to do things in the future." ”
The mother-in-law looked at Gao Sheng angrily and said, "If your mother must do this, we will break up." ”
Gao Sheng glared at his mother angrily and said angrily, "Mom, do you have to make me unhappy?" That's how you hurt me? ”
Li Di replied lightly: "Yes, it is up to you to decide how much to get married and the bride price in the future, I have no ability to care about you anymore." ”
Gao Sheng asked, "Does that mean that if you don't give a bride price, the down payment won't help?" ”
Li Di said calmly: "Yes, I'm just an ordinary old lady and don't have any special abilities. I don't want to delay your happiness, you can do whatever you want. ”
Gao Sheng warned: "Mom, you know that I am your only son, treat me like this today, don't expect me to support you in the future." It's best not to regret it. ”
Gao Sheng said to Rourou: "Let's go, we are still young, even if there is no bride price, after marriage, we will give you money together, your mother will not care." My current salary is already 5,000, and it will rise in the future, don't worry, your family is my family, and I will take care of them with you. ”
Li Di began to feel like a joke, and she seemed to have only touched herself over the years. Her dedication seems to have only raised and nurtured an indifferent and ruthless person.
Now she has a reserved bride price of 150,000 yuan and a down payment of 450,000 yuan, totaling 600,000 yuan. I don't know if this will sustain her retirement, but it seems that her son will not rely on her no matter what, neither now nor in the future.
Gao Sheng took Rourou's hand and left, they have been living together for almost two years. I heard that they were college classmates, and later they came to work together in a state-owned enterprise in the county.
In fact, she knew that Rourou had known her since she was a junior in Gao Sheng. In the first two years, the living expenses were only 2,000 per month, and Gao Sheng kept saying that she didn't need so much, and persuaded her to save some money and eat more.
Later, at the beginning of her junior year, Gao Sheng discussed with her that she wanted to find a girlfriend and planned to get married after graduation, but the living expenses would be at least 3,500.
At that time, Li Di also felt very helpless. Her monthly salary is only 5,500, and she has been cutting back for so many years for her son's college and future marriage. It's been a long time since her son went to college, and she hasn't had a proper meal.
All three of her meals are served in the factory's canteen, where the rice and soup are provided free of charge, and the soup is very delicious. She lives on soup and rice every day, which is simple but nutritious and delicious.
She was shocked when her son said he needed 3,500 a month for living expenses. She earns less than $500 a month, but she understands her son's thoughts. After all, who wouldn't have a girlfriend in college?
At that time, Gao Sheng said: "Mom, let me tell you, my girlfriend is from our county, and we will come back when we graduate, and then get married early, so that you can become a grandmother as soon as possible." ”
Li Di was still worried that his son would not come back after graduation. She was worried that the house in the provincial capital was too expensive, that she could not afford the down payment for her son's wedding house, and that she would be lonely by herself.
As soon as she heard that her son was looking for a girlfriend from the same county, she was very happy, so she promised to transfer him the living expenses he needed on time every month.
She has always felt that when a boy falls in love, he must not let his girlfriend look down on him in the slightest. Eating, buying gifts, and buying clothes all cost money.
She lived her life tightly, giving her son money on time every month. Maybe at that time, his girlfriend Rourou was what he relied on, right? In fact, she was holding it up.
The more Li Di thought about it, the more angry he became, stood up and got dressed, and decided to go out and treat himself. She couldn't remember how long it had been since she had bought a decent outfit or enjoyed a good meal.
Although her son has graduated and has a job, she thinks in her heart that her child will need a down payment on the house and various expenses such as a bride price when she gets married. The thought of spending money everywhere made her even more afraid to have the slightest luxury.
She walked into a bean curd fish hot pot restaurant and sat alone at a small table for two. She ordered a mushroom soup pot, chose the smallest fish, and ordered a plate of snowflake fat beef, yellow throat, black hairy tripe and duck blood.
She is particularly fond of eating fish, but this is the second time she has eaten hot pot. The last time was because a colleague got a bonus, and she was treated to a treat and asked her to order her favorite food. She smiled and said "whatever", in fact she had never been here at all, and she didn't know what was delicious.
She ordered a Coke and began to indulge in it. The tender bean curd, paired with spicy seasonings, awakened her long-dormant taste buds.
Li Di felt a little like crying. It was the most extravagant experience she'd had in years. Perhaps, she should have lived like this all the time, instead of sacrificing her life for the sake of her son.
She gulped down the fat cow, squeezed out a smile and told herself that food really has the magic of the soul and can calm the deep pain in her heart.
The next day at work, she made an appointment with an old friend to go shopping for clothes.
She had been wearing a down jacket for several years, and now it was always shedding, and the plush was always sticking to her sweater and pants, embarrassing her.
So she bought a long down jacket, made of 90% white duck down, which is said to be a large warm quilt in winter, which can bring warmth throughout the cold season.
This black down jacket cost her 1,180 yuan, which is a luxury she has never had. She also bought new underwear, warm clothes, sweaters and pants, a new range of clothes, and spent a sum of money to make her feel distressed, but perhaps only in this way can she forget the pain in her heart for a while.
From then on, she decided to live for herself, live the life she wanted to live, and eat the food she wanted. The son has his own life, and if his future is without her, then she will have to start planning for her future.
When she got home, after dinner, she suddenly wanted to have a glass of wine. She remembered that when her son brought his girlfriend home for the first time, he brought her two bottles of red wine, which she was reluctant to drink.
She couldn't help but smile bitterly, she didn't even know how to open red wine. She paused for a moment, found the corkscrew in the search results, and opened a bottle of red wine.
Unable to find a suitable wine glass, she found a glass. The wine is red, and it turns out to be this color. Drinking the astringent taste with tears, she realized that the crying in her life might bring sweetness to the future.
Twenty years ago, her son was only 5 years old, but suddenly, her husband had an accident.
At that time, she could not accurately describe the emotions of her husband's death.
Her husband usually likes to drink, has a peaceful and hard-working attitude, and is also a considerate husband when he comes home, full of fatherly love, and never shirks housework. However, once he drank, he became irritable and indiscriminately beat people, whether it was her or her son, whenever his husband was drunk, she hurriedly hid him.
She was scarred several times, the most serious of which was when she had multiple broken ribs and was hospitalized for a long time.
That time, the son was also frightened, and his eyes were full of long-term fear. She had thought about getting a divorce because she didn't know what the future would hold. But every time her husband woke up, he would kneel in front of her and apologize, vowing that there would never be a next time.
For the sake of her son, she chooses to endure, but the vicious cycle seems to be endless. Repeated alcoholism, violence, and apologies eventually made her numb.
However, all of a sudden, that night, the husband had an accident after drinking. It was a party organized by the unit that night, so the unit gave a certain amount of compensation.
She used the compensation money to buy a house for herself and her son. My heart was full of sadness, but also a little relieved. The entanglements and struggles experienced at that time are indescribable.
Half a year after her husband's death, she and her son had a home, and she devoted herself to her work and worked hard to raise her son.
Many people introduced her to people after her husband's death, but she was terrified. She was afraid of falling into that life again. Maybe there are many good men in the world, but she doesn't dare to gamble. She is unwilling to marry again one day and have another child, so that her son Gao Sheng will be hurt. Everyone says that if you have a stepfather, you will have a stepmother, not to mention another child.
Li Di is good-looking, but since her husband died, she has always dressed darkly. She didn't want to be the subject of talk because people said that widows had a lot going on in their homes. Especially when she was only 28 years old.
In order for her son to go to a better school and not be looked down upon by her classmates, she began to save money. She gave her children the best primary education and enrolled in the best tutoring classes. She was reluctant to eat the ribs to the child, but she was reluctant to taste them. The lunches she prepares for her son are nutritionally balanced and she doesn't want to let him fall behind the other children.
Looking back now, Li Di deeply regretted that she felt that she was too doting on her son at that time, which was the biggest mistake she made.
In fact, she is just an ordinary person, with little education, only a simple job, why should she pretend to be richer than she actually is.
Although the son also understood the hardships of the family, it did not affect his life. He did not suffer more than his classmates, nor did he fall behind. The price was to make his mother bear a lot alone, but gradually, he began to feel that no matter how much his mother did for him and what she paid, it was all taken for granted.
Tears couldn't stop pouring out, she didn't expect her son to become such a person. He can think about his girlfriend's family, but he can sacrifice his mother without hesitation.
When Rourou discussed the marriage with them for the first time, she said: "Auntie, my parents have discussed it and said that the bride price is 150,000 yuan. But you also know the situation of our family, and the bride price is to be left for my mother to support the family and for my younger brother to study. Auntie, don't worry, I will definitely have a good time with Gao Sheng in the future. ”
Li Di was a little unhappy, after all, the bride price was higher than usual, and there was no dowry. However, Gao Sheng insisted, she couldn't refute it, so she had to agree.
Two months later, they returned home together. Gao Sheng opened his mouth and said: "Mom, I have discussed with Rourou, we plan to make a down payment on a house together, write the names of the two people, and repay the loan together after marriage." ”
Gao Sheng continued: "Mom, Rourou is really a very good girl. In order not to burden you, we plan to live alone after the marriage so that you don't have to cook for us and do housework for us. ”
Rourou added with some embarrassment: "Gao Sheng, don't say that, Auntie has worked hard, and we should be good to her." ”
Gao Sheng then explained: "Mom, we have already looked at the house, and we need a down payment of 450,000. You don't have to worry about the loan and other things after payment, there is me and Rourou. ”
Li Di felt that it was her responsibility to start a family for her son, and the cost was also deserved.
However, she didn't expect that Rourou's family would become even worse.
After her son came home in the past two years, many things happened that hurt her.
Another time she was sick and asked her son to accompany her to the hospital, and when she paid the fee, she was approached by her son to ask for money, which made her feel embarrassed.
Li Di said angrily: "Gao Sheng, you want me to pay for medical expenses?" I'm your mother, can't you pay me such a little money? ”
Gao Sheng explained embarrassedly: "Mom, I didn't mean to. Alas, I have to tell you the truth, my salary is stuck with Rourou, and I only have 200 yuan on me, which is not enough, I need 519 yuan. What do you say I should do? ”
Li Di asked angrily: "Gao Sheng, you are not married yet, your money has been taken away by your girlfriend, and you can't even afford to pay for your mother's medical treatment, are you just like this?" ”
Gao Sheng defended: "Mom, don't make a big fuss. I didn't know you were going to get sick, and besides, what's wrong with paying your girlfriend's salary, do you want me to be the same as my father? ”
Similar situations happen all the time. For the sake of Rourou's father, on his birthday, Gao Sheng and they booked a restaurant, bought a wheelchair worth about 20,000 and a huge cake with two layers, and the whole family celebrated together.
When Gao Sheng came home, he gave her a piece of cake and said excitedly, "Mom, this is what Rourou specially asked me to bring to you." You see, she is very attentive to you, and remembers you no matter what she does. ”
That piece of cake was really delicious. She thought that it would be her birthday soon, and she didn't need expensive gifts, just a meal at home with her.
It's a shame that they never remember her birthday, let alone a birthday present.
Once the two of them were planning to go on a trip, only to inform her when they arrived at their destination, and she didn't even receive a blessing**.
Even though they were all around at the time, they had no idea that it was a special day, so how could they celebrate her birthday? That day, she was alone and simply ate a bowl of noodles.
Maybe there was too much of this emotional backlog, and when they proposed to marry again and give her mother's family 2,000 living expenses a month, she finally broke out.
That's right, she didn't want to. If she can't get gratitude and understanding no matter what she does, why should she continue to make compromises?
Bride price? She doesn't give anymore. Payment? She won't be burdened either. Wedding? She didn't bother anymore. She has worked hard for 20 years for the sake of her son, but now, it is time for her to live for herself.
Her son may not understand, or may not accept it, but what does that have to do with her?
She is a mother, but she is also an individual. For so long, she turned herself into a mother to the point of forgetting that she was also a living person. Now, she needs to be kind to herself and really live for herself.
She began to realize that there are always people in this world who don't care about you, who will not be truly moved by you, and who will not cherish your efforts. If you could turn back the clock, maybe no one could really save you, only self-reflection and self-reconciliation can bring true salvation.
Li Di decided that she would never dwell on the past again, she would try to live the life she liked and be better to herself, which may be the best salvation.
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