Hello, Happy New Year's Day, there must be a new style in the New Year!
I'm Lao Wang, a professional reader who likes iron.
At the beginning of each year, we have to set a flag, restart our lives, and discipline ourselves and work hard for it.
After all these years of tossing, Lao Wang understands a truth, in fact, the best wish is to be himself.
That's why I saved up until today to share this book.
Be Myself is a memoir by the famous psychologist Owen Yaron, which is both an autobiography and a written work. Of course, Professor Yalong is 93 years old and still alive.
Professor Yaron tells us with nearly 90 years of life experience:You may not be a better version of yourself, but you can be a better version of yourself.
"Be Myself" mainly focuses on Professor Yalong's life experience, psychology, teaching, and writing, which not only tells how Professor Yalong grew from an inferior and lonely Russian teenager to a world-class psychologist, but also dares to expose life's flaws, resentment and painful integration process.
It is in the collision of bitterness and sweetness, hate and love, loneliness and enthusiasm that Owen Yaaron is better to become himself.
Be Myself" Douban 88 points, 12 times this yearOne
Owen Yaron is a Russian Jew whose parents fled to the United States after World War I, and his family lives in a segregated, low-income neighborhood and struggles to survive in a grocery store.
As a white man in the black community and a Jew who teaches the world, Owen Yaron is an excluded and isolated other, like Camus and Kafka's strangers.
The streets where he lived were rife with violence, theft, and ethnic strife;In front of the grocery store, there is a drunkard who smells of alcohol sleeping.
But the companions of the house are cockroaches and rats.
The inferiority complex and loneliness brought about by poverty, race, and faith can still be endured, but the relationship with his mother is very painful for him, and he has not been able to reconcile for the rest of his life.
Angry, ignorant, vain, and hostile, his mother thought that all the bad things that happened in the family were Aaron's fault, and when his father was dying in the middle of the night, he yelled at him for killing him and cursing him for being an idiot.
Yaaron hadn't spoken to his mother for three years and had been trying to run away from the house.
II
Aaron is a beautiful boy, but lacks self-confidence and is afraid to socialize with girls. "I was shy, wooden, lacking in self-confidence, and never expected anyone to find me attractive," he said. ”
He wanted to get the attention of girls in a unique way.
At the age of 12, he called a girl "pock", and after being taught by the girl's father, Yalong learned what empathy is and learned to experience the world from the perspective of others. The 85-year-old woke up crying in the middle of the night, still feeling guilty about the incident.
Also at the age of 12, the library became Yaaron's second home.
Every Saturday, Yaaron bikes to the Washington Central Library to read his biography. Reading not only allowed Yalong to temporarily escape from his mother, away from the dangerous community, and alleviate his loneliness, but also opened his eyes to life.
Owen Aron (1931-).
"Looking back now, I feel sorry for that lonely, frightened, but determined little boy, and marvel that he managed to find his own path in life through self-education, albeit by chance, without encouragement, example or guidance," he said. ”
Many children can't bear the fate of Yaaron, or they blend in with community gangs, or they become helpless poor children.
Yalong did not accept his fate, and in an environment that seemed impossible to get better, he groped step by step to find the key to better become himself.
After entering college, Yalong studied wildly, joined the military after graduation, and then entered Stanford University to teach clinical psychology. At Stanford, Yalong also went crazy teaching, writing, and researching.
Today, Yalong is a tenured professor emeritus of psychiatry at Stanford.
Some people say that Aaron's life is perfect, but in fact, he walked into life with scars all over his body. He never gives up and takes every opportunity to be better himself.
Three
Aaron's love is enviable, and he says that the 15 years before he met Marilyn were black and white, and only after that were color.
In order to meet Marilyn, the shy Aaron actually did something to climb the window into Marilyn's house. The next day, I nervously asked Marilyn to watch a movie.
Sensing that Marilyn would be an important person in his life, Aaron overcame his timidity and bravely walked towards the other party.
Then, together for 73 years, until Marilyn's death in 2019.
While writing this autobiography, Aaron suddenly realized that Marilyn was the only mentor in his life. She leads Yalong to be positive, discuss and learn together, and often read books and movies together.
In the book, Aron said of his wife, Marilyn, "She lifted my mind, inspired my ambition, and provided me with an example of grace, generosity, and devotion to spiritual life." ”
Owen Yaaron with his wife MarilynIV
Not only does Yaaron teach psychiatry at Stanford University, but he is also responsible for specific psychiatry**, with existentialist groups**, writing. Many people know him because of his books.
My favorite psychologist is the second is Hayao Kawai in Japan, and the first is Owen Yaron.
The books written by Professor Yalong, whether it is **notes or psychology**, are super good at telling stories, and the stories are interspersed with theoretical knowledge and his personal experience and thinking, which gives me the greatest feeling that it is sincere, wise and humorous.
Books such as "Looking at the Sun", "When Nietzsche Cried", "The Lie in the Diagnosis Chair", and "Schopenhauer's **" are all very popular.
As you can see, even as an old man in his 90s, Professor Yalong is still constantly thinking and introspecting, hoping to benefit more visitors and readers with his own experience and knowledge.
I have been relentless in meeting patients ...... sincerelyI tend to be proactive, hands-on, and often focused on the here and now. ”
Professor Yaron said, "Writing itself is my struggle against the passage of time and the inevitable death. ”
His life has been very fulfilling.
Woo
After reading this autobiography, which unfolds the magnificent life of the 85-year-old with 40 memories, I fell into deep thought. The master is not perfect, the master has shortcomings and regrets, and even as a master of psychology, he does not reconcile with his mother, and the marriage of 4 children is also a chicken feather.
However, this is real life, and there is no perfect script in life. The key is, how to be yourself:
After being taught a lesson from calling the little girl "pockmark", she reflected on her own cruelty, learned empathy, and became herself better.
From the hostility and vanity of my mother and the cowardice of my father, I know that when I grow up, I don't learn from them, and I can be myself better.
Use reading to fight reality, expand your horizons, have an open mind and worldview, and be better yourself.
When you meet true love, even if you are inferior and shy, you dare to pursue it and become yourself better in mature love.
After going to university, I studied like crazy, and after becoming a professor, I studied like crazy, and I didn't waste my time, so I could better become myself.
Constantly reflect in group ** and individual counseling, refine it into experience, writing inspiration, and better become yourself.
And so on......Professor Erwin Yaron has never stopped exploring and developing himself in his life, even at the age of 93 now. In this life, he cherishes every "gift" of fate and becomes himself better.
In fact, all the encounters that fate pushes us are intended to be self-tempered. You can't run away from your own circumstances to be someone else.
You can only mend the gaping self in every encounter. You may not get better anytime soon, but you can become closer to your ideal self again and again.
In 2024, I will better "be myself".
Thank you for seeing here, I am [Sanhengwang Reading], with the same name on the whole network.