I am a 63-year-old man living in a beautiful city. I have my own house and a stable retirement salary. However, in the years since I retired, I have experienced some turning points in my life, and the most emotional ones for me have been with two women.
In the days when I had just retired, I lived a quiet and monotonous life. Every morning I go for a walk, buy groceries, and then watch TV or read a book at home. Even though I had a lot of time, I always felt like something was missing from my life. That's when I met my first woman, her name was Xiaofang.
Xiaofang is 15 years younger than me, has been divorced for many years, and has a daughter who has a family. Her enthusiasm and energy rekindled my passion for life. We went on trips together, did chores together, and chatted late into the night. I feel as if I have gone back to when I was younger, and the time I spent with Xiaofang made me feel very happy.
However, as time went on, I began to realize that there were some irreconcilable differences between Fang and me. Her lifestyle and consumption ideas are different from mine, and we often have arguments about it. Although we both cherish each other, in the end we decided to let go, hoping that each other could find someone better for us.
After separating from Xiaofang, I felt very lost and even began to wonder if I could really find a suitable partner. That's when I met a second woman, her name was Xiaoyan.
Xiaoyan is the same age as me and is also a retired old man. Her husband died many years ago and one of her sons is married. Xiaoyan's personality is gentle and kind, and we are always so harmonious when we are together. We walked, chatted, and watched movies together, and her gentleness and thoughtfulness made me feel at ease.
However, in the days with Xiaoyan, I began to think of Xiaofang's vitality and passion again. I began to realize that I needed more than just peace and calm, but also fun and excitement in life. This made me feel very conflicted and entangled, and I couldn't decide whether to choose Xiaoyan's stability or Xiaofang's vitality.
Eventually, I decided to communicate my thoughts openly and honestly with Xiaoyan. I told her I wanted to find a woman who could live a life with me and bring me passion and fun. Xiao Yan burst into tears silently after hearing this, and she told me that she understood my thoughts, but her age and physical condition could no longer meet my needs. She said she was willing to let go and hoped that I could find someone who was a better fit for me.
After separating from Xiaoyan, I felt even more lost and lost. I began to reflect on my actions and thoughts. What kind of life do I really want?What kind of partner is best for me?After thinking and trying back and forth, I finally understood one thing: everyone's needs and values are different, and there is no absolute right or wrong. What I need to do is find the lifestyle and partner that suits me best, rather than chasing other people's expectations or conforming to certain standards.
Now, I live a peaceful and fulfilling life. I read, write, and draw at home, and I also hang out with friends and travel. I no longer pursue that intense passion and fun, but cherish the peace and calm of the moment even more. I know I've missed out on a lot of opportunities and moments, but I believe there is a better life ahead of me.