That year, I had a relationship with her, and it was difficult to become a family, and I had no choi

Mondo Psychological Updated on 2024-01-25

In 1994, after graduating from secondary school, I was assigned to work in a food factory in a small town in southeastern Hubei Province.

There were three boys and two girls from different schools who were assigned to the food factory at the same time as me.

The two girls looked average, and in the food factory where singles were gathered, they became fragrant and sweet, and soon became the object of pursuit by two older young people. The two were around thirty years old, although they were older, they both had an official position and connections in the food factory, and they were still a little attractive to the two girls who came from other places, so they soon became a pair.

What I learned in school was just scratching the surface, and after I went to work in a food factory, I learned machine maintenance from a master who has been in the industry for decades. Usually there is not much to do, the machine is out of order, so I go with the master to see and troubleshoot, because it is mainly him, I just assist, and the work is easy.

The food factory is located in the middle of nowhere, when the economy was backward and there was no entertainment, and the after-work time was boring, nothing more than going out with colleagues to watch videos, play billiards, or ask a few people to play mahjong, eat and drink.

The efficiency of the food factory is not good, the wages are low, and for the few secondary school students assigned here, it is only an expedient measure, and it is impossible to stay here for a long time. There is no hope in sight, and there is no hope for the future.

One day, several Xi students from a secondary school in Wuhan came to the food factory, four women and one man, and the news immediately broke the silence of the food factory.

Soon, under the organization of the extroverted Xiao Liu, in the name of welcoming the Xi students, a gala party was organized, which several of our secondary school students, several other single young people in the factory and new Xi students participated.

Young people gathered around, chatting, eating, drinking, singing and dancing, and had a great time.

After this party, everyone gradually became familiar. Under the dedication of the three colleagues, it didn't take long for them to have a double pair with the three female Xi, and the love at that time was simple and pure.

Only one female Xi student named Lin Qiuyun has been unmoved in the face of several successive suitors. She is tall, with clear eyebrows, a quiet personality, and few words, who seems to be hiding her heart.

At that time, my family was in difficulty, my parents were farmers, my grandfather was bedridden for many years, and my grandmother kept medicine with me. My low salary can't help my family a lot, and I think of finding another way, so I don't care about the love between men and women, and I don't pursue female Xi students like others, and I am very calm.

I know very well that this kind of fate is just a lonely and boring young man and woman coming together, not necessarily long, with the end of the female Xi student Xi practice and leaving, or the day a colleague changes jobs, it may be the time when the two break up. Of course, sincere feelings must exist, and there are also those who later get married and start a family, but I didn't have the mind to do so at that time.

As a lonely and loner, I naturally became an alternative in the eyes of others. In this way, Lin Qiuyun, who is also lonely, and I have become the objects of other people's private chats and ridicules, and we are connected together for no reason.

Later, a good colleague joked to me: "Everyone thinks that you and Lin Qiuyun are arrogant and have a high vision, and those who know you know that this is not the case." Not to mention, you can try to get along. ”

I didn't care, and I laughed. But when she met Lin Qiuyun on the road later, the two nodded and passed by, but they obviously felt that both of them were a little restrained and unnatural, and I think there must have been such words reaching her ears.

One night, my dorm mates and my girlfriend were out, and I was bored and went to hang out outside the factory alone. After walking on the road for a while, I felt a little hungry, so I went to eat noodles at a restaurant near the factory.

I walked into the restaurant and just asked the store to make a bowl of noodles, and I was surprised to find Lin Qiuyun also sitting inside, waiting for the food to be served. She saw me too, and the two of us smiled awkwardly and said hello, and she motioned for me to sit down across from her.

Always looking for something to talk about, I asked her if she was Xi Xi during the Xi, and she said it was okay, and then it fell into an impasse.

She asked me why I didn't chase girls happily like other young colleagues. I talked about the bleak situation of the beverage factory and the plight of my family, and I wanted to find another way out to take care of the family, and it was not suitable to talk about the relationship between men and women at this time.

Since she talked about this topic, I was also a little curious and asked her in a joking tone: "A few people in the factory are chasing you, and they are not bad, why do you refuse people thousands of miles away, and your vision is too high." ”

She was a little embarrassed and said: "No, I just feel a little unreliable, I still don't know how to work and live in ** in the future, and I don't want my life to be limited to this remote place." ”

I nodded, understanding her thoughts, which were similar to mine. I asked her, "You seem to be preoccupied too." ”

She said that she is a single-parent family, her mother died early, and her father has been dependent on her since she was a child, and now her father lives alone in his hometown of Maoming, Guangdong, and his health is not good, she wants to graduate early and return to his hometown to work and accompany his father.

I lamented that she was so young, but she had to endure the troubles of life that was not commensurate with her age.

That open-hearted conversation brought us closer. Because I live in the same dormitory building, when I go up and down the stairs, I have more opportunities to meet than before, maybe it's a psychological effect, maybe it's the same as before, but I haven't noticed it before.

There are many opportunities to meet, and a simple hello will make me happy for a long time. I was surprised to find that my thinking had changed, what I wanted to go out and find another way out, and what was not suitable for talking about the relationship between men and women, it was all nonsense, because a good life can be done by two people!

I approached her, consciously or unconsciously, and invited her to go out for a night snack and she didn't refuse. A colleague who had chased her before said to me with a little jealousy: "You kid is still capable, see that you are usually quiet." ”

I laughed, and I didn't care what people said.

On a moonlit evening, I sat with her on a grass and chatted, and I quietly took her hand, and she didn't break free for a while, so she let me hold her hand.

After that night, our relationship grew by leaps and bounds, and in the minds of our colleagues at the food factory, we were a veritable couple.

In a blink of an eye, it was time for the New Year's holiday, and all my colleagues were gone. Lin Qiuyun told me that she didn't want to go back for the Chinese New Year this year, the distance was too far to change many times, and she simply waited for the completion of her Xi and graduation in the first half of next year before going back to see her father, and by the way to find a job, so she planned to go back to school for the New Year.

My hometown is hundreds of miles away from the food factory, I invited Lin Qiuyun to my house for the New Year, but she didn't want to go, so I decided to stay and accompany her to the food factory for the New Year. She persuaded me to go home for the Chinese New Year, and when I saw that I had made up my mind, she agreed.

Except for the two of us and the security guards, there was no one else in the factory, and it was deserted and lost the noise of the past. When two people who love each other are together, they don't feel lonely, only lingering affection. We go out during the day, and when we are tired, we come back to cook, eat, chat, and watch TV, and our days are very fulfilling.

Soon on the evening of the thirtieth day of the Chinese New Year's Eve, we prepared several dishes, opened a bottle of wine, ate and drank, while happily watching the small TV is ** Spring Festival Gala, at that moment, it really feels like home.

Happy days are always so short, the New Year is over quickly, colleagues have returned one after another, and another year of work and life has begun.

As the end of the Xi approached, Lin Qiuyun began to distance herself from me, intentionally or unintentionally. I felt painful, but I was helpless, because in that era of material poverty, the reality was in front of us, and we did not have the ability and courage to cross it.

One night, I had a deep conversation with her and asked her what she thought. With tears in her eyes, she asked me, "I want to go back to my hometown to work and accompany my father, can you go with me?"”

I was speechless for a moment. My family situation is destined to be impossible for me to stay away, my honest parents have worked hard in the countryside, and they have given everything to my education, and my elderly and sick grandparents still need someone to take care of them, can I abandon them and stay away from home?

Before Lin Qiuyun and her companions returned to school after the Xi, I went to see her off, and the two looked at each other speechlessly, with hazy tears.

Later, I heard that she had returned to her hometown after graduation, and I had left the food factory. I tried to contact her, but to no avail, in the days when there were no cell phones, one was forever.

After many years, whenever I recall the scene of our separation, my heart still aches faintly. None of us are wrong, what is wrong is that the poor era did not allow us to have the courage and ability to come together. I can only wish her all the best and a safe life!

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