Hello everyone, I'm "he said", and welcome to the "Joke Collection".
Sent on a business trip by the boss, walking with another male colleague, arriving at night, there was no room everywhere, and it was hard to find a room with a double bed. But when I got married, I felt awkward. My colleague was relieved and snored for a while, and then I fell asleep because I was too tired. I woke up in the middle of the night with a big hand covering my mouth tightly!I struggled: "Brother, I have a family, this is not good!".The colleague cried with a sad face: "What do you think, you grind your teeth like eating people, I dreamed of being eaten by zombies all night." ”
I am a small teller at the Bank of Communications, and just now an uncle came to us and said to buy train tickets, and I said that we can't sell them.
He said that you can't sell train tickets, and you dare to claim that you are very good at transportation, very good at!Then put us in a complaint.
I warn you, don't smile at me when I'm angry, I'll laugh when you laugh, and it will look like I'm shameless.
My best friend is short-sighted, one day I went out with her to buy vegetables, she saw a woman in front of her carrying a bag with a white bottom and cyan tassel-like embellishment, which was particularly good-looking, so she ran up and said that your bag looks good, where did you buy it?
When I got closer, I saw that it was a plastic bag with two handfuls of green onions hanging in it!
On the subway, a man felt that the girl opposite was very familiar, so he kept staring at him.
The girl was bored and asked, "What are you looking at?"”
The boy said, "I think you are very familiar, like my former girlfriend." ”
The girl said angrily: "Scumbag, I am your former girlfriend." ”
Yesterday I went to my buddy's house for dinner, and the two of them quarreled while eating. Suddenly, my buddy's girlfriend ran over and kissed me, and then my buddy ran over and kissed me too, I'll go, what's the matter with me?
One day when I was visiting the park, I went to the public toilet and borrowed a few pieces of paper from a child next to me. When I was washing my hands after solving the problem, a childish voice sounded behind me: "Uncle, is it okay to give me a few tissues?"”
I looked back and saw that it was a child of seven or eight years old. I asked, "Why did you come to the bathroom without paper?"”
He said pitifully: "I brought it, I just asked my uncle who was squatting next door to borrow it, and he said let him see what kind of cards it is."”
Some time ago, I bought a set of clothes online, and the seller sent the wrong color, and then I tried it on and felt so ugly, and then I wanted to return it, and the seller said that I should send him a ** wearing this dress.
After I sent it, the seller said: Hello, sir, after our appraisal, the clothes themselves are not ugly, but you are too handsome, and the clothes are much inferior to you. “
Ho ho ho haha, I like honest people the most, and I won't go back.
A woman went into the fashion store to look at the clothes, the boss asked her to try them on, she was not satisfied with the wear of the clothes and was about to leave, the boss said, "You have tried them all on, you have to buy them." ”
The woman took out the money and gave it to the boss, and as soon as the boss took it, the woman took the money back and said, "My money has been touched by you, please compensate me for the loss." ”
The boss said, "My ** money is not less than a cent!."”
The woman said, "Then I tried on your clothes without a trace?"”
A big brother went to the hospital to see a doctor.
The doctor asked: What disease do you have?
The eldest brother said: I have indirect amnesia.
The doctor asked: What are the specific symptoms?
The eldest brother said, "When I see a beautiful girl, I forget that I am married."
The doctor said, ", I haven't been cured of this disease myself!".
If you like it, follow me, more hilarious jokes will make you happy every day!