There is a proverb that is true, "Men and women work together without getting tired".
In marriage, both parties will always need each other's help at certain times, and it is better to support each other than to face all the difficulties alone.
A lady named Sissi has a conflict with her husband because of a disagreement with her mother-in-law, and when she faces a difficult situation herself, she finds herself in an awkward situation.
Before getting married, Sissi had always been worried about possible conflicts with her mother-in-law in the future.
As a person born in 1993, Sissi has experienced first-hand the environmental transformation of the entertainment industry from barren to thriving. The ** environment she experienced in her childhood was relatively simple, and in junior high school, she and her mother ** many family ethics dramas.
Sissi grew up in a relatively simple era, and people were very polite to each other. However, as she grew older, she noticed that the people around her seemed to become more sharply opposed.
The stories in those TV dramas played out in the homes of those people around her, which made Sissi feel a little anxious.
Therefore, when falling in love, Sissi is very cautious about the man's family, worried about meeting a difficult mother-in-law. She felt that her thoughts might be too simple, and she didn't know how to respond to being targeted, so she became more and more sensitive.
Before marriage, her boyfriend promised without hesitation that he would not let Sissi be bullied. He said that even if there is a conflict between his mother-in-law and daughter-in-law in the future, he will mediate to resolve the misunderstanding.
Sissi believed him and married him.
For half a year after getting married, my mother-in-law has been behaving normally and there is nothing abnormal.
After all, the newly married couple are busy with work, and in order to save money, they don't think about having children in the short term. The mother-in-law also understood the situation, so everyone was safe and sound, and there were no conflicts.
However, the old man has a soft spot for small children, and although she doesn't say it, she is envious of families with cute children. Coincidentally, the neighbor's family recently welcomed a little granddaughter, so the mother-in-law often shares ** in the family group.
The mother-in-law's original intention was to let everyone appreciate this cute little girl, and she didn't say much. However, Sissi felt very uncomfortable.
Sissi thinks that her mother-in-law knows that the couple is not considering having children at the moment, but she still sends these **, as if she is putting pressure on her. Not having children is not her decision, why does she think her mother-in-law should create pressure on her?
Although the problem is not yet unsolvable, a good communication can resolve the misunderstanding.
However, Sissi chose to remain silent and defined her mother-in-law in her heart, thinking that she was not good.
When her husband learned about it, he comforted her, saying that the old man had no malicious intentions and asked Sissi not to worry too much. But Sissi said, "Even if your mother doesn't have malicious intentions, she can't do this, why don't you think I'll feel uncomfortable?"”
The husband felt that Sissi was too sensitive and didn't think there was any need to take it too seriously, so he said, "Then I'll go and tell my mom not to send it again." ”
Sissi replied angrily: "Go and say it, doesn't that make me cautious?"”
The husband felt even more helpless, and found that it seemed that no matter what he said, he couldn't find a good solution in the face of this "straight man". He decided to try to soothe his wife's emotions with a bag and try to make her happy.
However, Sissi was furious: "Is it so easy to make money?."I'm not a money worshipper, why do you do this to me?”
Faced with his wife's anger, the husband also began to get angry. Before his marriage, he promised to protect his wife and actively solve the problem. Now he feels that he is trying, but his wife has not understood, and he feels helpless.
When the two became more and more fierce in the battle of words, and when their emotions reached their peak, the husband asked his wife what she wanted, and Sissi said coldly: "From now on, whose mother will be in charge, I don't want to serve this kind of old lady!."”
The husband was so angry that he was speechless, and the wife spoke of his mother with such contempt, which made him feel very uncomfortable.
So, the husband angrily agreed.
In her husband's opinion, he had seen too many such people, and he found that he dared to say anything in his anger, but the difficulties often softened as soon as they came. He thought that his wife would get better after a while, after all, she couldn't really be that ruthless.
However, unexpectedly, Sissi was able to be so ruthless, refusing to help her husband when her mother-in-law suffered a stroke 14 years later.
By this time, Sissi and her husband already had a son. When she was pregnant, giving birth, and confining, her mother-in-law also came to help and gave a red envelope of 50,000 yuan.
As the child went to kindergarten, the mother-in-law generously gave another 100,000 yuan.
Theoretically, the average person may choose to forget about the petty grievances in the past, thinking that the mother-in-law is acting quite well, and there is no need to be suspicious of her because of some trivial things.
However, Sissi has already made an assertion about her mother-in-law's character, firmly believing that she is not a fuel-efficient lamp. Sissi thinks that her mother-in-law is secretly putting pressure on her, and feels that whatever she does has some kind of purpose.
So, when her mother-in-law was hospitalized due to a stroke, her husband was running between the hospital, home and company, but Sissi insisted on the agreement of "whose mother will take care of it" and refused to help her husband go to the hospital to take care of her mother-in-law, even if it was just to deliver food.
She claimed that she was busy taking care of her children and had no time.
The husband felt cold, said no more, and silently took care of his mother. For a month, he stayed at his in-laws' house almost every day and rarely returned to their small home. At this moment, Sissi's mother unfortunately fell on the embankment of the park.
My mother sprained her waist and broke her leg and was receiving ** in the hospital, suffering great pain.
Sissi also fell into the dilemma of running between the company and the hospital, accompanying her mother in the hospital every night, and her son was picked up by her husband, so she no longer had to worry about it.
In less than a week, Sissi felt powerless, she was extremely tired, her face was pale, and she couldn't eat well and sleep well.
She had no choice but to put down the shelf and seek her husband's help: "Husband, can you help me!."”
However, her husband took out what Sissi had said: "Whose mother is in charge, isn't this what you said?."I carried it by myself at the beginning, but now it's your turn to try it. ”
Sissi knew that she was wrong, but her mother's body was huge, and she pushed her mother up and down the stairs by herself to do a checkup, and helped her mother do massage and **, which was too hard and too much labor!
After hesitating for a long time, she decided to hire a caregiver with all her salary and then work part-time herself.
However, to Sissi's surprise, her husband took the initiative to lend a hand. He knows that he can't be too ruthless, and he automatically resolves his previous suspicions out of softness for his wife. He just hopes that his wife can learn from it and live a better life in the future.
As a worldly person, if you want to live a good life, you should not be too concerned about trivial matters.
After all, people's hearts are unpredictable, and sometimes someone's unpleasant emotions or wrong behavior at a particular moment are likely to be influenced by other reasons, not deliberately aimed at you. Therefore, there is no need to elevate things to an overly serious level.
Don't exaggerate negative emotions in the face of unpleasant things.
In today's stressful society, people tend to become sensitive and over-interpret their actions and words when interacting with others.
Of course, there is nothing wrong with being moderately sensitive, after all, no one wants to be hurt by others, and protecting yourself is the right choice.
However, it is unwise to define others based on superficial appearances.
Everyone's thoughts and emotions are constantly changing. Sometimes, we are indifferent to others because we are in a bad mood, or we hurt others by making bad judgments because of limited information.
Everyone makes mistakes and hurts the feelings of others by saying things that can put pressure on others.
Therefore, if the words and actions of others have caused us harm, there is no need to be too concerned about small things. Exaggerating one's negative emotions will only bring unnecessary harm to oneself and form a kind of internal friction.
Moreover, we can't categorically characterize the other person as some kind of bad person just because we are unhappy. Such an approach is tantamount to generalization.
To evaluate a person objectively, it is necessary to see their specific behavior.
A person's personality is inseparable from their upbringing and experiences, and some people behave contradictory in life because everything they have experienced shapes their complex thoughts.
Some may be mean-spoken, but at critical moments they show the quality of righteous help;Some people may be rhetorical, but betray you at a critical moment.
In interpersonal communication, we should focus on observing the actual actions of others to see what they have done for us and whether they have really given substantial help.
People who always say nice things and please you are indeed able to provide some value emotionally, but they may be immediately alienated when you are faced with a difficult situation.
In the end, those parents or parents-in-law who may give you "pressure", nag you, and blame you in normal times are the ones who really care about you and are willing to provide material support.
It is right to avoid the company of bad people, but you should not be too subjective and presumptuous and exclude those who are truly kind around you who may "be inconsistent with their words and deeds".
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