Xiao Mo:
Hello, I am 28 years old, I don't have a job, I just gave birth to a child for two months, and I accidentally found the consumption record of my husband going to the foot massage city, I suspect that he did that kind of thing.
When I first found out, I was really shaking all over, and I couldn't believe that he would do such a thing.
Then I quarreled with him and said that I wanted a divorce, but he refused to admit it, saying that he simply went to wash his feet.
But the amount of his payment record is absolutely impossible to do nothing, so I asked to check the chat history of his mobile phone, but he let me see it, and I didn't find any excessive chat.
Originally, I was about to believe him, thinking that I was suspicious, but when I checked the Alipay payment records, I found a lot of five or six hundred transfers, and those people's avatars are all women, or very glamorous, I questioned him, he began to pretend to be stupid, anyway, he just doesn't admit it now, and he doesn't want to divorce.
What my parents mean is that if I leave now, it's not easy to take the baby by myself, so it's better to pretend to be stupid and let him go, after all, I don't have too conclusive evidence, and I haven't really caught it, but I'm really uncomfortable, I really can't accept it, I think he's so dirty now, I don't want to see him at all?
Can you tell me what to do?Do I want a divorce or not?Or is it like my mom said, men are the same, and it's the same for another one?
I'm so confused, I hope to get your reply.
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Sister: Hello, because the information you gave is not very detailed, such as your husband's earning ability, and one of your financial situations, I can only give you a general suggestion for your reference.
First of all, let's talk about your husband, according to your description, he is probably a PC, but as long as you don't have definite evidence, or you don't catch him in bed, then he can't admit it.
In fact, it's not just your husband, there is a high probability that men are like this, as long as he doesn't want to divorce, he will never admit it.
In your case, if the conditions of your mother's family are not particularly good, I actually do not recommend you to divorce.
Because you have just given birth and you don't have a job, it can be said that now is your lowest point, if you get divorced, how are you going to live?Who should take care of the children?
After all, how is your husband, he can also help the child when he is uncomfortable, or other things, and he is better than you alone.
So if he wants to return to the family, I suggest that you let him go for now, and then use his guilt to sign a marital property agreement with him, and ask for as many assets as possible to protect the two of you.
In this way, if he commits it again in the future, or if one day you can't stand it at all and have the ability to leave, this agreement can give you a guarantee, so that you won't be too tired after divorce.
Of course, these are based on the situation that does not affect your life, if you see him now, you feel very suffocated, very broken, and you can't live with him anymore, then you can also file for divorce.
The child must belong to you, as for the property issue, you had better find a professional lawyer and let him help you fight as much as possible, after all, it is really not easy to take care of the baby alone.
As for the men your parents say are the same, this kind of thing is really not absolute, there are definitely good men in this world, there are definitely men who are clean and self-conscious, as long as you are good enough, you will definitely be able to meet.
So another piece of advice I give you is not to divorce for the time being, let your in-laws help take care of the children, and you yourself should improve yourself so that you can be independent, and at that time, you can dump him very chic and pursue happiness.
- Good wishes!