Before reading this article, I sincerely invite you to click the "Follow" button, so that you can continue to push such articles in the future, and at the same time, it is also convenient for you to discuss and share, your support is the driving force for us to persist in creating
My name is Zhang Ailing, I am 25 years old and I am a junior designer. Half a year ago, I met my current husband Li Jian, who is 3 years older than me and works as a project manager in a foreign company. We quickly confirmed our relationship and the wedding took place three months later. On the wedding day, I wore a white wedding dress and Li Jian wore a black suit, and we exchanged rings with the blessings of family and friends, and became husband and wife. After we got married, I moved into the two-bedroom wedding house that Li Jian bought in the city center, and we gradually built up the bits and pieces of our newlywed life. "Honey, today's meal was delicious!Li Jian was full of praise after eating the kung pao chicken I made. "It's a must, I've looked at several different ways to do it, and this is the best version of it. I said with a smile. "With your virtuous help, I'm so happy!Li Jian happily gave me a big hug. In the first days, we lived a sweet and sweet life just like every newlywed couple. Li Jian is very successful in his work, often working overtime and returning late, but he always gives me a goodbye kiss before going out every morning. He would text me often or send me flowers out of the blue, and our affection made me feel happy. But a month later, I suddenly found that Li Jian's needs for me seemed to be much stronger than usual. We used to make out two or three times a week, but lately he's asked me to be with him every day, sometimes more than once a day. I'm a more traditional girl, and I think this frequency is too high. 
Honey, can we reduce it a little bit?I'm a little overwhelmed. One day, I plucked up the courage to make a request to Li Jian. "Reduce?Don't, baby, didn't we just get married just to be more intimate? Li Jian put his arm around me and refused to let go. "I know, but it's too much to come a few times a day, wouldn't it be nice to change it to once every two or three days?I asked tentatively. "Come on, be more affectionate with me, there are a lot of benefits to the body, and you can't easily reduce it. Li Jian didn't accept my suggestion at all, and still went his own way. Looking at Li Jian's reaction, I was a little helpless, but it was not good to force it again. Even though I was a little overwhelmed by the frequency, I did my best to accommodate his request. After we made out again that night, I went to sleep exhausted. This kind of frequent sex life caught me a little off guard, and I knew that I couldn't stand my physical and mental health if I tossed it like this every day, but Li Jian just couldn't listen to my opinion. "He's really gone too far, you've only been married for a month, and you're definitely going to be overwhelmed like this. Xiao Fang said sympathetically. "I also think the frequency is too high, but he refuses to change when I bring it up, what do you think I should do?".I told Xiaofang about my troubles. 
But I'm afraid that this will hurt the harmony, and will it be counterproductive?I'm still a little worried. "What is there to worry about, it is a basic right to express one's needs, and if it hurts the harmony, it is his problem. Bear with it and you'll collapse, be firm!Xiao Fang encouraged me. "You're right, I'm determined to have a good conversation with him. After listening to Xiao Fang's words, my confidence increased. That night, Li Jian, as always, wanted to make out before bed. "Honey, can we talk first?I plucked up the courage to say. "I have something important to talk to you about. I sat up resolutely and said. Li Jian heard my unusual tone, stopped his movements and looked at me: "Okay, let's talk." ”
It's about the frequency of our sex lives. I know you have a strong need, but it's really overloaded with me. I'd like to ask you to reduce it a bit, once every two or three days, okay?"I mustered up all the courage to express my thoughts to Li Jian sincerely. "What reduce?I'm not going to do it!Isn't the main role of marriage to have children and make out more?If you refuse to meet my demands, can't I still be happy in my sex life??Li Jian immediately became excited and had a tough attitude. "But you think only about yourself, and you don't think about my feelings. If it continues at this frequency, I will be physically and mentally overwhelmed. I said aggrievedly. "Can't you cooperate with me once?What the body can't bear, that's what you don't want in your heart!Sex is inherently a reflection of the couple's affection, and your inaction will make me feel left out. Li Jian ignored my feelings and remained stubborn. "No, it's not just about you and me, it's about our physical and mental health. You have to change your mindset and you can't just think about yourself!I retorted forcefully. "What, now that you're starting to let your husband sleep on the couch?We've only been married for a month!Li Jian said angrily. "I didn't mean that. But if you refuse to listen to me every time we communicate, then sooner or later our relationship will go wrong. I said with red eyes. 
Okay, okay, all listen to you, I'm just a vexatious person. But I'm not going to change the frequency of our sex life, you can go for yourself!After Li Jian finished speaking, he entered the bathroom angrily and slammed the door shut. For the next week, Li Jian's attitude was still cold, and he went straight to the computer every day when he stepped into the house, completely ignoring me. There was a cold silence between us. Just when I thought our relationship was going to be like this, Li Jian suddenly came to talk to me one night. "Yuanyuan, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have been so excited to be angry with you last time. You have a point, it's true that sex can't just take care of one person's feelings. Li Jian's tone was apologetic. "No, you're not wrong, I'm being selfish. We should negotiate a frequency that is comfortable for both of us. Li Jian said sincerely. "What do you mean?I asked cautiously. "I've thought a lot about it, you're right, it's not good for your physical and mental health. I am willing to go to marriage counselling, seek help from experts and work together to adjust to a model that is acceptable to both parties. Li Jian looked me in the eye and said. 
I was ecstatic, and it was exactly what I had been hoping for: "Great!".I also feel that counseling is necessary. With the guidance of experts, we can definitely find the balance. "The road is long, and I will go up and down to seek." Li Jian held my hand and said softly. I finally saw the light at the end of the tunnel. Perhaps after this dispute, our relationship will become stronger. I know it will take time to restore trust, but seeing the change in Jian Li makes me excited about our future. In this way, at the initiative of Li Jian, we found a senior marriage and family counselor, Professor Zhang, and began to receive guidance. "Professor Zhang, what do you suggest we should do?Li Jian asked respectfully. Li Jian and I both nodded, and the suggestions sounded pertinent. "Remember, sex is about affection and pleasure, and you can't make it physically and mentally exhausting for either person. Finding the rhythm is key. Professor Zhang told us. 
Thank you, Professor Zhang, and we will earnestly implement your suggestions and strive to find the best model. I say from the bottom of my heart. After returning home, Li Jian took the initiative to sign a "15-day sexless life pledge" with me, saying that he would strictly implement Professor Zhang's guidance, which made me very happy. In the following 15 days, Li Jian did not break his promise for a moment. Instead of appearing irritable or cold, he was more considerate. Li Jian would help me massage and relax, walk and dance with me, and we began to enjoy the romance without sex. I will also repay his understanding with all kinds of small surprises.