In the process of counseling, I found that many girls have a common problem, that is, they are insecure in their relationships, and they are prone to gains and losses.
I often have students tell me that I have paid a lot for a man, and I am even better to him than myself, and I think about him everywhere, but in the end, this man does not cherish it, and he still makes a situation outside, why?
In fact, this is a misunderstanding, I have been telling you before, what is the nature of feelings?It's an exchange of value, right?How good you are is always more important than how good you are to him.
So you will find that some girls around you who don't care about feelings and don't usually pay much for men have been particularly favored by men.
First, why can a self-centered woman live well?
In fact, two people must be together because they have their own value in each other, which is the key to maintaining a long-term relationship.
For example, you are beautiful, gentle, empathetic, good family conditions, etc., these are all resources that come with you, and men can only replace these resources if they are good to you.
But if you get your focus wrong, focus on being good to him, and want to exchange your own efforts for his resources, then men will only care less and less about you, and even think that you are too cheap and have no value of your own.
So what should be your focus?It's "how good I am", put more time and energy on self-improvement, actively socialize, develop hobbies, and don't let your life become only love.
When you don't focus on men, but focus on yourself, invest more in yourself, and constantly improve your charisma, your value will become higher and higher, and you will be more confident, so that you will never be in a low position in the relationship.
Second, why is it that the better you are to him, the less you are cherished?
It's not that you don't want to be nice to men, but what?When you are good to him, you have to make sure that your value has not diminished, and that you have always maintained your charm.
If you have personally faded away some of the charm points that attracted this man at the beginning, and then you are crazy to be kind to this man, revealing your strong sense of need, then he is easy to drift and not know who he is.
He will rationalize these behaviors of yours and think that he is charismatic. The reason why you pay for him like this is because you feel that you are not worthy of him, so you keep him by doing this good to him. To put it bluntly, your behavior is flattering in his eyes, and he won't cherish it.
It's like a spare tire you don't like, no matter how good he is to you and how much he pays for you, you won't cherish it and won't give him any response. Because you will rationalize this matter yourself, and think that it is because you are attractive that he likes you so much.
So, what do you have to do in your relationship?It is by attracting, not by paying, to bind a man. When your self-worth comes up, this man will take the initiative to cherish you.
If you want a man to continue to like you, then you should be yourself, show your charm, and make yourself better and more confident from the inside out. When you are in such a state of mind and mentality, you will not suffer from gains and losses at all.
Because you're fearless, even if you don't love me, I don't care, who care?My mother is so good, if you don't have it, there will be other more and better people** me, I just need to filter out one more of these people that I love.
Thirdly, what kind of women are most valued by men?
I often tell you that no matter in any relationship, in a relationship or even in the workplace, what is the premise if you want the other party to pay more attention to you?It is the value that you output to the other person that is sufficient.
While you are asking for some value from the other person, you must first consider what benefits you can bring to the other personWhy should the other party pay for you and invest the cost?If your self-worth is not enough, no matter how much you play the emotional card, it is useless.
Let me give you a simple example, for example, if you work in the company, you are not capable, you do not have your own core competitiveness, and you cannot create value for the company, so will the boss give you a salary increase?
No, the company is buying your value with a salary, so even he doesn't necessarily want to keep you, right?Because you can't do it, you can't do it, you can't do it. But if you are capable, even if you leave this company, there will be more companies vying for you.
Isn't that the truth?In fact, it's the same in relationships. Men are "self-interested" thinking, he must choose you because your values match, so you should pay more attention to maintaining and improving your multiple values.
What are multiple values?For example, your beauty, this is your external value. Another example is your high emotional intelligence, you can provide a lot of emotional value to men, and men are comfortable and happy when they are with you, which is a higher value.
When your value has been going up, and you can provide this man with value that others can't replace, this man can not only feel the high energy in you, but also be driven by you, because you and he has become better, then he naturally can't do without you.
Click on the problem When you are confused and lost in your relationship, click on it and take a look!