Seen a**.
An old man in ragged clothes walks on a long road.
At this time, a truck driver passed by and kindly helped the old man into the car.
Not only did he hand him his own bread and water, but he also thoughtfully turned on the heating, which he was usually reluctant to turn on.
Along the way, the driver chatted with him from time to time and took good care of him.
But when he arrived at the place, the old man turned over the car and asked why he didn't give him a cigarette.
After a big fuss, the old man walked away and took the only apple in the car.
There is a "Beb's Law" in psychology.
This means that it is insignificant for a person to experience a strong stimulus and then apply the same stimulus.
The same applies to interpersonal communication.
If you do too much to do in the snow, then all the previous efforts and concessions will be taken for granted by others.
Smart people have long learned that they should never be too nice to a person.
Those who despise you are not pleased
There is a story on the Internet about the "professional good guy star".
Xiaoxing has just entered the workplace, as a newcomer, she adheres to the principle of doing more, talking less, showing weakness more, and being less reckless.
In the company, she is very busy every day, not because of her heavy work and poor ability, most of the time she needs to "serve" her colleagues.
Xiaoxing, help me print a copy of the materials. ”
Xiaoxing, I asked you to count the data, have you done a good job? ”
Xiaoxing, you're idle anyway, help me go downstairs and get the courier. ”
Looking at the work that was forcibly stuffed in his hands and the leisurely appearance of his colleagues, Xiaoxing was in pain every day, but he still chose to be silent for the sake of "harmony".
Not all kindness is rewarded, Xiaoxing's begging for peace everywhere shows weakness, in exchange for the gossip of colleagues.
They said behind their backs that Xiaoxing was stupid and stupid, procrastinating, and even at gatherings between colleagues, there was no shadow of Xiaoxing in the company's evaluation.
On the contrary, when the company selected the worst employees, they uniformly elected Xiaoxing.
In the face of other people's unreasonable demands, Xiaoxing endured step by step, not only did not get the pity of others, but made others more and more insatiable.
I've heard this passage:
The good old man is a poison that not only addicts himself, but also makes the other person constantly addicted to your demands;
It is not until everyone finally becomes enemies that this kind of highly toxic interpersonal relationship will end. ”
Bottomless dedication to others is like a sharp knife, hurting others and hurting oneself.
If you lose the degree of generosity, it is easy to be consumed;If kindness is too much, you will be let down in the end.
Being a temperamental person and making yourself comfortable is the most brilliant ability.
Consume your people, refuse early
The writer Jia Pingwa once wrote in "Knocking on the Door" that he moved five times in a city.
But every time there will be uninvited guests at home, and even frequent interruptions.
Every time he couldn't stand the knock on the door, he opened the door, and as a result, all the people who came in did almost anything, and they all came to embarrass him.
These people either asked him to write a banner to send to his superiors, or some church invited him to cheer, or even had nothing to do, and came to relieve his boredom.
And every time this group of people came, they were empty-handed, not only smoking his cigarettes and drinking his tea, but also delaying his work, so that he could not write articles at all.
In fact, in life, there is no shortage of people who always consume you, and if you learn not to refuse, you will eventually bring countless troubles and troubles to yourself.
The painter Qi Baishi, who once begged him to paint for free because he was not good at refusing, or a bargain, was not only tired to the point of physical and mental exhaustion, but also admitted to the hospital.
He couldn't bear it anymore, so he wrote two confessions in the living room.
A confession reads: Regardless of friendship, a gentleman is ashamed, please pay according to Runge. ”
There is also a confession that reads:
Flowers and insects and birds, each plus 10 yuan, vine and bees, each plus 20 yuan. Those who reduce prices will lose others and benefit themselves, and they will not be happy to see it. ”
Later, few people tried to embarrass him again, and they couldn't take advantage of him that they shouldn't have taken advantage of.
In fact, when you express your attitude and principles, it will be difficult for others to take advantage of you without restraint.
Bai Yansong once said:
Why do others take you less and less seriously, because you are too easy to talk, you agree to anything, and you give you whatever you want. ”
In the world, there are too many people you don't need to pay attention to, and when they treat you with an attitude that consumes you, they actually disrespect you.
If you blindly try to cater to you, in the end they will only unscrupulously seek personal gain from you.
And you will only be completely dragged down by them, or even exhausted.
Keeping time for yourself, focusing on yourself, and putting your emotions on top is the best nourishment for yourself.
People who overdraft their relationships dare to turn their faces
Writer Sanmao once told a story about her studying abroad in a book:
When she first arrived in Spain, she always remembered her parents' explanation: forbearance in everything is a blessing.
So she was very nice to everyone, and everyone asked for something to say yes.
Every day, I help my roommates tidy up the house, make the bed, sweep the floor, wipe the table, and do the laundry.
Half a year later, she became the most popular person in the dormitory, but she became more and more unhappy.
Because her roommate regards housekeeping as her responsibility, she often instructs her to work, asks her to help collect clothes, irons her pants, curls her hair, and opens the door for them late at night ......
One night, her roommates crowded into her bed to drink and make a loud noise, which provoked the dean.
The dean stood by the door angrily and shouted, "Who started it?"”
The girls in the room all bowed their heads, not daring to respond.
Seeing them lying on the Sanmao bed, the dean thought that she was the leader and scolded her.
The anger in her heart could no longer be suppressed, and the idea of valuing peace was left behind.
"Turned his face" on the spot, ran to the corridor in a rage, picked up a broom and hit his roommate.
The dean was extremely angry and ordered Sanmao to apologize in public, but Sanmao never refused.
After resisting this time, the roommates no longer dared to bully Sanmao, but changed their tricks to please her, and even the dean took the initiative to reconcile with her.
"You can not stab someone, but you must have a thorn on your body," said Mader. ”
Life is not easy, and there is no need to consume your energy for the sake of unworthy people.
When others keep squeezing you and touching your bottom line, be brave enough to go back.
People's hearts are mutual, if you respect me, I will respect you.
If others get an inch, then you don't have to be polite, turn your face when it's time to turn your face, so that you can better protect yourself.
Walking in the world, it is inevitable to encounter various situations, only by learning to evolve thinking, so that the body is full of thorns, can we gain a long-term foothold.
Only when kindness has a sharp edge can you escort yourself.
May you keep your principles, have a culture that does not hurt others, and an aura that does not hurt others.
Share.