How to tell if the other person loves you, how to see the love between you?Today we will talk about some dry goods, a discussion about love.
When I receive this question, I generally don't recommend that they worry about whether they love you or not, just feel it.
Because this kind of interaction between the two is related to their respective feelings and needs, as long as they can accept each other and get along with each other to achieve a balance, then there is no big problem.
But some people don't want to be confused and want to have a deeper understanding of the so-called love, so let's talk about love today.
If you really want to judge, there is a method for reference only, this judgment is an idealized means, and it is also a stage that must be experienced in love.
I want to judgeWhether a person loves you or not, then you see whether he loves you and whether he loves you as he loves himself。If not, it may just be a liking or a liking, or even just not disgusting. (Don't be discouraged when you hear this, it doesn't necessarily mean that he doesn't love you, but it may be at some elementary stage of loving you, and then you may need to continue your relationship and deepen it.) ）
Because love is essentially an act and a state, a natural tendency to behave. There is essentially no difference between loving oneself and loving others, only the object of love. As long as he will love himself, he will love others.
When he falls in love with you, he will naturally feel that being good to you is the same as being good to himself, that is, he treats you as his own, and he loves you as himself.
This is not a rational behavioral decision, but a natural reaction of him, and he will feel that it is worth it, and subconsciously, he loves you as he loves himself.
He treats his own needs as yours, and he treats his possible harm as the harm you may receive.
For example, if he is cold, he will let you wear more clothes, and when he is hungry, he will let you go to eat.
This is a form of love, but of course it can be problematic and can make you feel distracted, constrained, or even suffocated. But if you also love him, you should first rejoice in it, and then think about how to get along with each other, so that this love makes each other more comfortable.
Because it's a sign that he loves you, and that way of loving can be adjusted. If you show opposition or rejection at this point, it may break his heart.
As an old fan, you may recall the question of "how to love yourself" that we mentioned earlier, and our conclusion is to love yourself as you love others, and if you don't love others, you won't love yourself.
And now we say that love is love to love others as yourself. It sounds like a ring, but in the end, love yourself as you love others, or love others as you love yourselfIt's a bit winding. Don't worry, let's move on.
In fact, everyone will unconsciously have an ability to love, which is strong and weak, but our love needs to be stimulated. Sometimes it's inspired by the other person, and sometimes it's inspired by yourself.
When you fall in love with someone and you fall in love with him, it is actually the other person's personal charm that inspires your love and makes you feel admiration, appreciation, care, intimacy and so on. This is the kind of love we have when we fall in love with someone.
There is another kind of love, and that is a kind of self-motivated love. Being more aware of our feelings and needs will naturally lead to making ourselves better, more comfortable and healthier. This inner feeling and need also inspires us to love ourselves. But because it is naturally possessed, we often ignore this and often do not realize that it is love for ourselves.
The combination of love, which is inspired by the charisma of others, and love that is inspired by one's own feelings and needs, is a comprehensive love.
At this time, whether we love each other or ourselves, we should have both parts of love.
How to love yourself better?To love ourselves as we love others is to supplement ourselves with the kind of love that is inspired by the other person, such as respect, attention, recognition, worship, etc., in addition to our natural love for ourselves. In this way, we do not neglect ourselves and thus maintain our self-esteem.
How can we love others better?To love others as oneself is to supplement the kind of love that is inspired by oneself to the other person in addition to the love inspired by the other person's charm, such as understanding, empathy, tolerance, acceptance, and so on. A common example is "forgiving others with a heart of forgiveness" to make the other person feel understood and accepted.
We will understand that loving ourselves as we love others and loving others as ourselves are not contradictory, but are actually a reminder to make up for each other and thus build a more complete love.
You may find it boring to talk about this, but if you think about it, it's not complicated, and I just hope it can inspire your relationship.
For more information about improving the awareness of marriage and love, you can check out my column below - "Ten Marriage Lessons That Can't Be Missed").