A daughter began to learn Xi guzheng, and every night she clocked in and practiced Xi, while his wife accompanied her. However, one day, his wife's voice suddenly rose high: "You have to keep up with the beat, and you will lose the rhythm when you play!."The child responded, "I haven't memorized the score yet!".Hearing this, my daughter cried!I immediately walked over and pulled my wife aside to comfort my daughter. I whispered to my daughter, "Honey, let's practice Xi notation first." "My daughter wiped away her tears, I beat the beat, and my daughter started singing. Once, twice, three times, the daughter gradually began to play the guzheng timidly, but because the score was not familiar, the latter paragraph still did not get stuck in the rhythm. I praised my daughter and told her, "If only we could memorize the last piece of music." The daughter acted immediately, sang the last piece of music several times to the beat, until she was proficient, and then went to play the guzheng again. Now, my daughter is playing the rhythm of the card.
Life always grows in the midst of ups and downs. Children will encounter difficulties big and small as they grow up. Our parents should stand on the same side as their children, fight side by side with their children, and overcome difficulties. In this process, we can give children courage and encouragement, so that they can be more determined and confident in the face of difficulties. Two.
The children rejoiced, and there was an angry wife in the bedroom. I told my wife that when a child has just learned the guzheng, just as she has just learned to walk, we should treat it the same way as we teach a child to walk. When your child is just learning to walk, we will support her and encourage her when she takes a step. If your child falls, we will pick her up, comfort her, and teach her how to solve the problem, such as being slow down and detouring around if she encounters an obstacle. In the process of children learning to walk, we have been walking side by side with children, and children slowly learn to walk. His wife's mood turned from sadness to joy, and she practiced Xi guzheng with her children. If helping a child overcome problems and get rid of bad problems is likened to fighting a war, who should be the two warring parties?Growing up in the traditional education model, we intuitively believe that the two sides are wise parents and disobedient bear children. As adults, we need to constantly point out children's mistakes and stop children's bad behaviors in various ways in order to help children get rid of their mistakes. When you think about it that way, you will unknowingly become a police officer, and the child will become a current offender. Do you think the relationship between the police and the current criminals can be better?Will the current offender really stop doing bad things because the police want to arrest him?No, no, no, the current offender will choose to avoid the police, and then when he does something bad, he will have the pleasure of breaking the taboo.
Using this traditional "cop and bandit model" to help children correct bad Xi is exhausting but difficult to work because we have simply mistaken the enemy. Parents, our enemies should never be your children, if you don't want them to treat you as enemies. In this war, we need to fight against the bad Xi of the child, not the child itself. We must be children's comrades-in-arms, fight side by side with children, fight against problems and bad Xi, as if we were going to defeat a difficult monster together. In this process, if we just condescendingly put up a parental shelf to correct and stop the child, but instead shift the focus, your antagonistic attitude will make the child think that he can't do this because his parents don't like it, and he will not think that doing it itself is wrong. Three.
When children are struggling, they tend to feel sad and blame themselves. At this time, parents do not need to rush to blame their children, because doing so will only push them to the opposite side of us, make them feel sad and even confrontational with their parents. When a child does not do well on a test, some parents feel sad, angry, and scold their child. However, these three things will not help the child improve their grades, but will stand on the opposite side of the child. In order to be on the same side as the child and help them overcome difficulties, we should adopt the following way of thinking: when the child does not Xi learn well, we should feel regret and reflect on our responsibilities. As parents, we should think about what we can do to help our children improve. Ask yourself: What can I do to help my child?
To be on the same side as our children and help them overcome difficulties, we parents need to establish the right mindset: first, when we find any bad outcome, we should first look at the outcome and find the problem. Secondly, we should feel regret and reflect on our responsibilities. Finally, we should think about what we can do to improve the situation. Through this way of thinking, we can work better with our children, help them overcome difficulties, and provide support and assistance for their development. Four.
Parent-child growth
Standing on the opposite side of the child, you can only see the child making mistakes and disobedience;And standing on the same side of the child, you will see his fragility and struggle. Just like on the battlefield, only by standing by the side of comrades-in-arms can we face difficulties together and share the joy of victory. "Stand on the same side as your child", fight side by side with them, and your heart will be filled with love. When he fails, you will feel distressed, comfort him not to be discouraged, encourage him to try again next time, and work with him to study countermeasures and strive for victory next time;When he has a small victory, you will naturally be happy, cheer for him, give encouragement and praise. In the process, you will use your love to provide him with strength and make him feel understood and supported. You will be his dependence and role model, and he will feel confident and brave because of you. You will grow together, face challenges together, and create a better future together.