The phoenix man's incomprehensible daughter-in-law has a salary of one million, and I promised to give my brother 200,000 yuan a year, and she divorced
As the old saying goes: "Childhood sweethearts, young love;."Grow up** and go your separate ways. "Brothers and sisters, with the same roots, are your closest partners in the world, so it is natural for them to support each other. Especially for our brothers and sisters who have given you countless help and dedication, once we have the ability, it is natural that we should return more. However, the premise of all this is not beyond one's personal capacity, and at the same time, it must be considered clearly before entering the marriage hall yourself.
As an adult, especially as a couple, you and your partner build a new family. Understand that the help you have received has nothing to do with your partner, so you can't force the other person to reciprocate as you do. Your partner's return to your family of origin and support for your siblings is based on emotion and understanding, not for granted. However, some people have a different view, such as Zhang Tao, who firmly believes that husband and wife should be one and the same, and believes that his wife should also reciprocate with him, and this should be the case.
He believes that without the dedication and sacrifice of his family, he would not be where he is today. Therefore, it was natural for him to ask his wife to give back with him. Zhang Tao shared his story, hoping to arouse everyone's thinking. His wife's annual salary is one million, and he only seeks support of 200,000 yuan, thinking that this is not too much, why his wife filed for divorce because of this, he is puzzled.
The story provokes reflections on family relationships and the responsibilities of husband and wife, with Zhang Tao arguing that marriage is a process of mutual struggle and mutual reward, while his wife holds a different view and believes that responsibility is not something that should be taken for granted. This difference in concept made the marriage of the two face a severe test.
The protagonist of the story: Zhang Tao.
I first heard the term "phoenix man" when I was studying at university. A classmate told me that he came from a poor family in a rural area and that his family was struggling to support him in college. After listening to his story, I realized that my experience was similar. My family is also in the countryside, and my family is very poor, and I have a younger brother and sister. The reason why I was able to study until I was admitted to university was actually because my younger brother and sister sacrificed their own opportunities to study.
Although they have a lot of criticism about the phoenix man, I don't feel inferior. At the moment, sitting in the same classroom, sitting side by side with them, doesn't that prove that I have succeeded with my own skills?I once promised my family that I would definitely settle down in a big city in the future and bring a good life to my family. Now in college, it's just my starting point. After graduating, I made good on my promise to stay in the city and get a good job.
I remember when I received my first month's salary, I kept the money I needed for my daily life and sent the rest home. My parents happily bought something they didn't eat often and shared it with their neighbors. My mother said excitedly that I had earned back the face in my life and wanted me to continue to work hard. Of course I agreed, everything I have now is the support of my family, so for my parents, younger brother and sister, no matter how good, it is a matter of course.
For the first time, I was unhappy with the term "Phoenix Man" because it involved feelings. There are several enthusiastic female colleagues in the company, who are more than a decade older than me, and who are passionate about matching single colleagues. Among the colleagues who joined the company, everyone except me was successfully introduced, and some even introduced them several times. However, I was the only one who had no help in finding someone. One day, a kind female colleague told me: "Although your personal conditions are okay, because of your family situation, which is the so-called phoenix man, it will bring a huge burden to the other party." I don't dare to delay the happiness of others, so I haven't introduced you to anyone. Even if it is introduced, the girl will not agree. "I felt a little frustrated, but I couldn't do anything about it. I thought to myself, anyway, if I can't find it in the city, I can always find a fellow villager who is willing to marry me when I go back to the countryside.
I had a fork in the road when I was thinking about getting married. However, my parents objected, insisting that I should find a girl from the city, not from the same village. Their logic is very simple, they think that marrying a wife with a good family background will save me a few years of struggle and make my life easier. This thought stirred up waves in me, and I began to think that although they were not very educated, their logic was quite pertinent.
So, I changed my attitude and thought maybe they were right. After all, after getting married, it is a family, and if my wife's family conditions are better, I can also relax. I heard that one of my college classmates, although similar to me, now has a house and a car because he married a girl from the city.
This news made my heart flutter. However, city girls are not easy to come by, and feelings are not something I can fully control. My wife is my junior high school classmate, she is beautiful, and I have long been attracted to her. However, she didn't finish high school and later lost contact. When we met again by chance, she was still beautiful and more charming than before, and I was very moved.
At that time, my parents did not agree with our marriage, thinking that my wife was not worthy of me. But I insisted on getting married, and my wife was very touched and vowed not to disappoint me. However, in the end, it turned out that she not only failed me, but also filed for divorce. Because both parents didn't quite agree, we just got a marriage license. My wife borrowed money for a down payment to buy a house, so I moved in with her after we got married. As my wife's income increased, my parents' attitude towards her began to change.
After getting married, my wife decided to change her business job for the sake of the future development of the family. While income has increased, work has also become busier. In order to take care of the family, we discussed it and decided that I would change to a more relaxed job so that I could take better care of the children and household chores. I made compromises and concessions for the sake of family harmony. My wife's career continues to be successful and her income is increasing, but with it comes her busyness.
In this family, both people are too busy, which leads to a gradual strain in the relationship. For the sake of family harmony, I ended up choosing a relatively easy job. In other words, my wife's later success and million-dollar annual salary are inseparable from my original compromise and concession. Therefore, I think I have the right to share in the family property.
Later, I raised my parents' living expenses and often gave them financial support. I am also generous to my younger siblings because I know what they are doing. Although my wife had a problem with my approach, I mentioned to her her original commitment and the dedication of my parents and siblings to me.
I knew it with affection and reason, and my wife didn't say anything more in the end, just reminded me to be measured. However, a recent incident has made everything more complicated. My mom told me that my brother fell and injured himself while playing outside, leaving him with some disabilities. Although it does not affect life, it can be seen to be a little lame when walking. My brother's fiancée filed for this reason to break up, which made my mom very worried. The other party's family is worried about the stability of the younger brother's income in the future and is reluctant to let the daughter marry over.
Faced with this dilemma, the family decided that I would give my younger brother 200,000 yuan a year as his fixed income. In this way, he and his fiancée's daily expenses can be alleviated, and the 200,000 yuan can also be saved. My mom cried and begged me to help, or my brother might give up on himself.
Naturally, I agreed without hesitation, after all, he was my own brother, and I couldn't watch him fall into frustration alone without getting married. What's more, my wife is currently earning more than one million a year, and there will definitely be more in the future. In order to help my younger brother, taking out 200,000 yuan has little impact on our lives. I assured my mom, "It's just 200,000, and I agreed." Hearing my promise, my mom smiled and said that raising my son was really not in vain.
That night, after I had settled my children to bed, I waited until the wee hours of the morning until my wife came home. I told her about this when she was cooking noodles in the kitchen, and I thought it was just talking, hoping that it would be resolved sooner. However, she refused, saying, "It's impossible to give such a large amount." And every year, he is my brother-in-law, your younger brother, and not our son, why do you have to give 200,000 every year. ”
She also said that I gave a lot of money to my family all year round, and she turned a blind eye to tell me not to go too far. I was a little angry at the time, I said, "You have an annual salary of one million, why can't you give my brother 200,000 yuan a year, this is my own brother." She said a bunch of reasons that we didn't have the obligation, but I thought she was arguing. Obviously, she said that she would not disappoint me, but now she is unwilling to help my brother.
Obviously, it was my concession that made her high income now, but she said that she earned all the money in the family, and she said that if she didn't give it, she wouldn't give it. He also said that I should have the ability to make my own money, remove the daily expenses of the family, and then give as much as I want to my younger brother if I have any surplus. I tried my best to restrain my anger, but I didn't get angry, and I still wanted to reason with her. But she was mad at me, and as soon as I mentioned it, she was emotional and wanted a divorce. Of course I don't want a divorce because we have children. But my brother's side can't wait, I really regret it, why did I pay attention to the supremacy of feelings in the first place, and didn't find out that my wife was so unreasonable?You say, is my wife too much, should I consider divorce?