Understanding communicates the heart
Written by Zhu Bingchu
There is friendship in the world, friendship contains true feelings, true affection, enriches life, and makes life more fun, more meaningful, and more valuable.
When you are in the atmosphere of friendship, do you appreciate the role of understanding, the messenger of friendship, its indispensable position?
Forgiveness refers to the forgiveness or elimination of opinions after understanding the facts. Understanding is the bridge of friendship, the voice of reason, and the lubricant and glue for improving interpersonal relationships. More understanding and tolerance, more consideration and understanding, can soothe people's hearts, communicate people's thoughts, harmonize society, and harmonious families, make the relationship between people more relaxed and harmonious, and make the bridge of friendship more solid and smooth.
Understanding is the kind of self-cultivation that people must have in order to live in the world, and it is an essential element for a positive and healthy life. In the article "Working Methods of the Party Committee", the chairman said: "...Understanding, support and friendship are more important than anything else. Although this is about intra-party relations, it is equally applicable to our interpersonal relations and to the building of spiritual civilization. We should put forgiveness and liberation in a very important position in our lives and in our lives.
However, in real life, some people still lack the understanding of understanding, and are not good at using understanding to deal with conflicts, improve and communicate with each other, live in harmony and enhance friendship. This cannot but cause our concern.
Living in a complex society, working in a professional circle, and gathering together on a busy campus, there will inevitably be contradictions and misunderstandings between people. In the face of such contradictions and misunderstandings, most people can treat others with a generous heart, forgive and forbear, reduce friction to a minimum, and even turn conflict into harmony and conflict into friendship. But some people are not, they often burst into flames, advance step by step, do not let go, or make trouble unreasonably, turning sesame trivial matters into storms and even tragedies. This is very undeserved. Forgiveness, it is a manifestation of the inner heart. In the conflict with others, to deal with the conflict calmly, forgiveness and forbearance, can make one's soul get comfort and tranquility, will sow the seeds of friendship into the other party's heart, so as to get the tolerance and respect of others, and build a bridge of friendship.
In life and work, people inevitably make mistakes and mistakes, or inadvertently hurt each other, in this case, what is needed is understanding and understanding. People are always afraid or unwilling to make mistakes, and once they feel that they are wrong, they often feel guilty and guilty, and as long as it is not a gross negligence or a mistake in principle, they generally want to be forgiven by others. Practice has proved that understanding in this and here is undoubtedly a good medicine, and the right and wrong are timely help and powerful rescue, which will free them from depression and panic and raise the sails of progress again. If we criticize and blame mercilessly, we will only sink into negativity, and if we inadvertently build an invisible gap between them, then friendship will be lost.
Try to be tolerant and understanding of others. Bob Hoover was a well-known test pilot and often performed at air shows. One day, he flew back to Los Angeles after performing at the San Diego Air Show. As described in Flight magazine, at an altitude of 300 feet in the air, two engines suddenly stalled. Thanks to his skillful technique, he maneuvered the plane to land, but the plane was badly damaged, fortunately no one was injured.
After the crash landing, Hoover's first action was to check the plane's fuel. As he expected, the World War II propeller plane he flew was loaded with jet fuel. Upon returning to the airport, he asked to meet the mechanic who maintained the plane for him, and the young mechanic was extremely saddened by the mistake he had made. When Hoover walked up to him, he was in tears. He caused the loss of a very expensive plane and almost killed 3 people. You can imagine Hoover's fury, and he expected that the honorable and precise pilot would rebuke the mechanic for his negligence. However, Hoover did not scold the mechanic, or even criticize him. Instead, he put his arm around the mechanic's shoulder and said to him, "To show that I believe you won't make another mistake, I want you to take care of the plane for me again tomorrow." Hoover's actions show that smart people are able to forgive others for all their mistakes. They will insist that someone else's intentions are good or that they have just made a mistake in the spur of the moment. Also, try to find your own reasons. By doing so, you will not only avoid all disputes, but you will also be as tolerant and generous as you are, acknowledging that he may be wrong.
A civilized and harmonious life, extensive and friendly interpersonal relations, requires us to learn to understand. As long as it is not a matter of principle, tolerance and tolerance should be given to people. In life, a calm smile, a gentle "it's okay", a sincere "thank you", and an act of helping others are all full of the wish for friendship and convey the voice of friendship. This kind of action that can be done anywhere and at any time can obtain satisfactory social effects and make us enjoy the joy and happiness of life, so why don't we do it?
More than 20 years ago, I wrote the lyrics of "Building a Bridge of Hearts", which was published in magazines with the soundtrack, and I often sing this song. The meaning of the word illustrates how important etiquette, understanding, tolerance and friendship are to build spiritual civilization, social tolerance and world harmony in interpersonal interactionsSay "thank you" affectionately, which can build a colorful bridge of the heart. A "hello", like drops of rain and dew, moisturizes the seedlings with deep meaning;A "thank you" is like a spring breeze, stirring people's hearts of love. A "hello", like repeated love threads, narrows the distance between people;A "thank you" is like a warm current, connecting hearts with hearts. "Hello, hello", social tolerance, cultivating the sentiment of love;"Thank you, thank you", the world is harmonious, and the color bridge of the soul is erected.
In small matters, whether or not a person can be forgiven on non-principled issues can reflect a person's ideological realm and life pursuit. In order to achieve this state, we must strive in at least two aspects: one is to establish lofty ambitions, because "those who set great ambitions do not care about small things";The first is to strengthen ideological cultivation and be good at using the reins of reason to tie the emotional wild horse into the cage. A person with good cultivation must be a person who understands the general situation, takes the overall situation into account, and can build a bridge of friendship with understanding. However, forgiveness is not the same as blindly forbearance, tolerance, and retreat, and for those who provoke trouble, take the initiative to provoke trouble, and attack the other side unreasonably and ruthlessly, it is still necessary to adhere to principles and fight back, otherwise it is a laissez-faire approach to mistakes, and there is no other benefit. I have encountered such a situation: after **publishing a manuscript** to the group, many people liked it, but only one person made a difficulty, I don't know which nerve went wrong, and repeatedly attacked and slandered. In this regard, I felt that I could not show mercy and back down, so I posted several reasonable and well-founded counterattack articles in a row, which were supported and applauded by many netizens, suppressing the arrogance of the attacker and making him repent and reflect. Refusal to allow certain problems is also the need to cure diseases and save people.
To understand, to be broad-minded, open-minded and generous. When interacting with people, unsatisfactory and unsatisfactory things will inevitably occur, and even misunderstandings, contradictions and conflicts will occur. In order to enhance friendship and eliminate estrangement, we must have a broad mind and generosity. Being able to tolerate others is a virtue of being a human being. Throughout the ages, those who have achieved great things have a broad mind and a measure of tolerance. There is such a scene in the movie "Mountains and Waters":
At the beginning of the second Kuomintang-Communist cooperation, he exemplarily implemented the party's anti-Japanese national united front policy, but was mistaken for a spy by his own comrades and was subjected to four days and four nights. ** Comrades proceeded from the overall situation, regardless of personal face, endured all humiliation, and finally persuaded the surrounding comrades with facts and promoted the development of the revolution.
Understanding, we should focus on the overall situation, abandon previous suspicions, relax our minds, and have more understanding and understanding, which often has unexpected results. In this case, an example of "life and death enemies shaking hands and talking happily": one day in 1960, after Shen Zui wrote a letter to Han Zidong, he was hesitating about sending this letter and whether Han Zidong would forgive himself, when he happened to receive a letter from Han Zidong in Guizhou, wanting to buy his "My Thirty Years". Shen Zui was very excited after reading the letter, and immediately replied to Han Zidong to tell him that he would go to Guizhou to ask Han Zidong for guilt, and sent the letter to Han Zidong. It turned out that Shen Zui and Han Zidong had a life and death feud. It was a day of the War of Resistance Against Japanese Aggression, and Shen Zui inspected the concentration camp in Xifeng, Guizhou, as a major general of the General Affairs Department of the Kuomintang Military Command Bureau. At the door, he saw a man in shabby clothes sweeping the floor, the man raised his head slightly to glance at him, and asked a few agents of the concentration camp with some vigilance: "Who is this sweeping man?""A madman who didn't figure out the facts of the case. "What case?"Communist Party suspects. "Locked up in a cell!."In this way, the "preferential treatment" of sweeping the road every day was deprived by him with a word. This sweeper is Han Zidong, an underground member of the Communist Party of China (that is, Hua Ziliang in the famous long ** "Red Rock"). But now Han Zidong did not hold his opponent because of this, but took the initiative to write a letter to Shen Zui for the reunification of the two sides of the Taiwan Strait. From then on, the two of them passed on the book and agreed to meet in Fuzhou, hoping that the Taiwan compatriots could see the scene of this old Communist Party member and the reformed former Kuomintang spy leader abandoning their old suspicions and shaking hands with their enemies in life and death through the Fujian TV program. Later, Han Zidong learned that Shen Zui was sick, and went to Beijing to meet Shen Zui who was recuperating at home, and the two sat on their knees with emotion. When Shen Zui went to Chongqing with Bi Ke and other comrades from Changchun Film Studio, Han Zidong rushed to Chongqing from Guangzhou and accompanied him to take a lot of scenes in front of the White Mansion, the Dregs Cave and the martyrs' tombs.
As the saying goes: "The heart is selfless, the world is wide";"Let one step be calm, endure a point of sea and sky. There is a good adage: "Friendship does not grow in a narrow, barren heart." The heart that grows friendship is a heart that is wider than the sea and the sky, and a heart that is deeper than the land. "We should all learn to understand and have a heart of friendship;In communication, you can be a magnanimous and open-minded person.
Friends, life needs friendship, and friendship is inseparable from understanding. Let's create an atmosphere of friendship with understanding and build bridges of friendship with understanding
On November 25, 2023, at the 15th Military Retirement Institute in Chaoyang District, Beijing, the author is 87 years old).
About the Author:Zhu Bingchu, male, Han nationality, from Yixing, Jiangsu, born in March 1937, enlisted in the army in July 1954, joined the party in July 1956, college culture, was awarded the rank of colonel in September 1988. He retired in September 1992 as a deputy researcher in the Editorial Office of the Encyclopedia of Beijing Military Region (China). After retirement, he carried out literary creation, and successively published four anthologies, "Message of Youth", "Sunset Manbi", "Review and Reflection", and "Sunset Pick-up", with more than 1.48 million words, and is currently writing the fifth anthology "The Voice of the Elderly", with a total of more than 200,000 words to be published, realizing the dream of life literature.