At the beginning of "To the Truth", the director asked Cui Shirley to introduce herself, Shirley hesitated for a long time, and finally said: "I am Cui Zhenzhen". Shirley made a decision, she was not interviewed as a star "Cui Shirley". This time, she wanted to talk about herself, the contradictory and confused self under the mask.
What is sad is that both Cui Xueli and Cui Zhencheng were no longer alive four years ago.
On October 14, 2019, South Korean actress Choi Shirley was found hanging at home by her agent. ** It is speculated that Shirley's suicide may be related to depression. The agent also confirmed that Shirley suffered from severe depression before her death. The gossip about Shirley circulating on the internet clearly aggravated her condition.
Four years after Shirley's death by suicide, Netflix released two films she shot during her lifetime on November 13, which together became "Persona: Sulli." One is a short film called "4: Holy Island", which is the first of a series of 5 short films, but Shirley died before she could finish the second part;The other is the documentary "To the Truth", which is a 100-minute interview with Choi Shirley by director Jung Yun-seok, which was also filmed in the last period of her life, but has not been released for a long time.
To the Truth poster.
The title of the film is "To the Truth", this is because Cui Li's real name is "Cui Truth". In 2005, Choi Zhenzhen, who was only 11 years old, was favored by Lee Byung-hoon, the director of "Dae Jang Geum", and played the role of Princess Xiaoseon-hwa in "Potato Nursery Rhymes". When a reporter interviewed her, he told her that the name "truth" was too teaching, and suggested that she change her name. Cui Zhen thought about it ideally and decided to use Bai Xue's "Snow" and Pear Blossom's "Pear" as his stage names. In the Chinese world, the most widely circulated translation name is "Shirley". At that moment, Cui Zhenzhen became Cui Shirley, and she wore the mask of "Cui Shirley" and embarked on the road of an artist. The world where the "truth" is forgotten, the dazzling star Shirley, but the final ending ushers in a profound destruction.
Shirley's death has had a great impact on South Korean society, and even promoted the legislative process of South Korea's first rectification of online violence. But four years on, has society really progressed?
Forgotten "truths".
The deceased has been laid to rest, but in South Korea, any topic about Choi Shirley remains sensitive.
In 2020, South Korea's MBC TV broadcast the documentary "Shirley ** Makes You Feel Uncomfortable", which reviewed Shirley's life in the whirlpool. As a result, almost all of the people involved in the documentary were subjected to cyberattacks. The overwhelming number of online comments accusing Shirley's family and friends of "killing" Shirley's **. The one who endured the most attacks was Shirley's ex-boyfriend, rapper Choi-ja. MBC had to announce a complete shutdown of the "replay" feature five days later.
Cui Shirley's posthumous work was not spared. "To the Truth" was first screened at the 28th Busan Film Festival in October this year. At that time, some people jumped out and thought that the disclosure of these two works was to consume the deceased. The director of "To the Truth" responded in an interview: "When the protagonist is interviewed in the film, he is based on the principle of openness. The deceased talked about a lot of topics that are very important to our society. ”
Unlike the third-person perspective of "Shirley** Makes You Uncomfortable", "To the Truth" is Shirley's first-person self-statement. Director Jung Yun-seok's questions are calm and restrained, and he cares about how Shirley feels at different stages of her life, rather than trying to ask for any gossip from Shirley.
To the Truth" stills.
Answering each question, Shirley almost takes a long time to think. She hesitated, hesitated, wept, and then hid her embarrassment with a smile. She throws out an answer, thinks about it, and then rejects the previous one. The director is not in a hurry to ask, but leaves Shirley enough time.
Even if there are some questions that Shirley can't answer, or say inconsistencies, the director doesn't care. Shirley's contradictions are her truest side. It can be seen how much pressure she usually bears, and when she finally takes off her mask, she finds that she has almost lost the ability to express.
Shirley, an entertainer, said she often wore a mask of "stubbornness" to "pretend to be fine" to the public. In the face of the high-pressure idol cultivation model of the agency, she pretended to be fine, and in the face of malicious comments on the Internet, she also pretended to be fine.
Shirley talks about not knowing how to speak out, and even if she shows her pain, it won't have any impact on the outside world.
Once, there was a comment on the Internet that Shirley was "suspected of drug use" when she was partying with friends, and Shirley said that she was very sad and sad that her good friends were affected. But in the end, she was "reckless", and prayed in a joking tone: "Journalists, please love me more!".Audience friends, please love me a lot!"It seems like this can put an end to the turmoil.
In fact, every hurt left a mark on Shirley's heart, and the only way Shirley coped with stress was "self-blame and self-deprecation." It's hard to imagine how much pain a girl who entered the showbiz at the age of 11 endured in the next 14 years. In the face of every ** turmoil, Shirley blames herself for her mistakes and casts a castle with pain.
It's how I take control. She said.
Become an idol merchandise
The seeds of depression were planted early in Shirley's heart.
Shirley's parents divorced when she was very young. She was very dependent on her mother and always missed her. At that age when she needed to be loved, Shirley was sent to acting school by her mother and endured the pressure of life alone.
Shirley won the Youth Performance Award at the age of 11 and joined SM Entertainment as a Xi. She left Busan, left her family, and lived in a dormitory with other Xi. In addition to going to school, I take classes in the company every day. Every week, the company will arrange all the Xi students to shoot the results of their Xi together, and the performance is clear at a glance.
Shirley learns to hide her emotions and behave cheerfully in public, but in private she blames herself for her imperfections. All these efforts are made in order to conform to the company and build oneself into a commodity. She said in the documentary: "Since I started as an artist, the most common sentence I have heard is - you are a commodity. ”
In 2009, Choi made her debut as a member of the girl group F(X) and became a K-pop idol. In Shirley's words, "fame fell from the sky", but she couldn't be happier. Because she understands that fame is as illusory as a bubble, and the slightest mistake will burst. In South Korea, idols have a lower status than actors. Actors can make a living by acting, and as long as they are involved in the role and get high ratings or high box office, they can gain popularity. Idols rely on fans to support them, and they need to do their best to stabilize their fan base and constantly make "pleasing fans".
SM is the creator of the K-pop myth. The founder of this family, South Korean singer Lee so-man, is an engineering student who advocates the modern industrial system. In his opinion, artists can be produced according to standardized processes. Lee so-man fully understands how fragile idols are and how easy they are to collapse. Therefore, he established an assembly line for mass production of idol groups from raw materials, and as long as the product has a little defect in the production process, the company will not hesitate to eliminate it.
Such an efficient training model makes SM unrivaled in the industry, and other brokerage companies have followed suit. For the company, the collapse of the artist's house is not a trivial matter, and there will always be new stars being produced. But for individual artists, this high-pressure mode is no different from hell. "I had to be what they wanted me to be, and I had to worry about losing the value of the product," Shirley said. ”
Under such a system, idols dare not work hard, and all aspects must conform to the persona created by the company. As long as it is revealed that they are in love, lazy, stinky and other suspected uncaring behaviors, idols will be attacked as sinners who "betray fans".
To the Truth" screenshot.
Before Shirley's death, many K-pop artists were revealed to be suffering from depression and even ended their lives because of it. In 2017, Kim Jong-hyun, a member of the SM boy group SHINEE, committed suicide due to depression. BIGBANG members Kwon Ji-ryong, Suzy, and Girls' Generation captain Taeyeon have all disclosed that they suffer from depression.
Shirley was aware of her psychological problems early on, but she "tried to turn her head away". It wasn't until she was 20 years old that Shirley told her mother that she had two wishes: one was to find herself a psychologist, and the other was to date someone else. She said that it was the first decision she made, that she had no regrets, and that she was happy for herself.
The price of independence
Unfortunately, when Shirley began to try to take charge of her life, the bubble of fame was on the verge of bursting.
Shirley's dating partner is the rapper Cui Zi, who is 14 years older than him. This relationship was not only opposed by her mother, but also made a large number of fans dissatisfied, believing that Shirley had lost her qualification to be an idol. Shirley's mother recalls that when f(x) performed on stage, "the fans were cheering right in front of their eyes, and there were good things and bad things in them." [Shirley] is going to listen to this and perform on stage at the same time. ”
The burst bubble is no longer recoverable, and Shirley is in a dilemma. There is no going back to the past life, and the happiness in front of me is also being eaten away by the malice of the outside world little by little.
To the Truth" stills.
Shirley didn't want her relationship to affect the development of f(x), so she officially quit the group in 2015. In the end, this troubled relationship also came to an end. In 2017, Shirley and Cui Zi announced their breakup.
At that time, Shirley was alone and cut off contact with her mother. She said she had a "feeling of being left alone in the world." After Shirley's death, her mother walked into her former home and found countless drugs around every corner, which was the only way to realize how serious Shirley's depression and panic disorder had become.
Quitting the group and abandoning the relationship, these sacrifices failed to save Shirley's public image. In the years leading up to her death, she enjoyed sharing her life on social **. But netizens and ** did not let her go, and continued to look for clues of Shirley's "out of line" on social **. Sensational headlines and abusive comments go hand in hand. ** squirting cream into the mouth is interpreted as having "sexual connotations", and ** hugging each other at a party with friends is regarded as evidence of "drug use". In the eyes of many people, Shirley just likes to attract attention. Caught in the whirlpool of malicious comments, Shirley begins to doubt herself: "What if I'm really a weirdo?".”
To the Truth" stills.
Director Jung Yun-seok asked Shirley if it was possible that it was not herself, but someone else, or the industry. Shirley became very excited, she said "no" with a crying voice, and finally held back her tears, but asked apologetically, "Can I cry?"She said she had no choice but to allow herself to blame others for her problems. "At one point when I have this thought, everything falls apart. She said.
Idol culture certainly distorts human nature, but for Shirley, losing the qualification to be an idol is equivalent to losing everything. This is where the tragedy of Shirley's fate lies. She didn't intend to rebel, but in South Korea, having her own ideas is the original sin of idols.
Shirley openly declares herself a feminist because the popular notions of women in Korean culture are at odds with her own personality. As a well-crafted commodity for the entertainment industry, Shirley can especially understand the pain of women not being able to speak up for themselves. Shirley uses each of her film and television works as a channel for her voice. "To the Truth" and another short film, "4: Holy Island", are no exception. Especially during the filming of "To the Truth", Shirley took off her mask, not only to be honest with the director, but also to be honest with the public, she said: "I hope there will be no more victims in the world." ”
To the Truth" stills.
But sadly, Shirley wasn't the last victim. Six weeks after Shirley's death, her good friend, 28-year-old South Korean singer Goo Hara, also committed suicide at home. Hola was also attacked by online rumors during her lifetime. South Korean statistics show that 40% of Korean artists suffer from depression, and 30% say they have thought about suicide. And the only response of K-pop agencies is to advise artists to take psychotropic drugs.
The successive deaths of artists have triggered reflection in South Korean society, and they have also promoted South Korea's ** legislation to solve the problem of online violence. But South Korea's star-making factories are still full of power, producing goods without freedom of expression. Shirley's voice was destined to be drowned out by the hustle and bustle of star-chasing frenzy.