Ever since I was a child, I had a dream of having a happy family. My name is Li Xue, 42 years old, and my longing and yearning for family have never changed. I worked hard and tried to take care of my family for this dream, and I never gave up even in the face of difficulties and setbacks.
My ex-husband Liu Wei and I met when we were in college. At that time, we were classmates, knew each other and fell in love, and walked through the college time hand in hand. After graduating, we successfully entered the palace of marriage and formed a small family of our own. After marriage, we supported each other and managed our love and life together. Although there are no luxurious mansions and endless money, we live a full and happy life.
However, fate is always full of unpredictable variables. We have been together for 20 years and have a well-behaved and sensible son, but eventually we are on the verge of divorce. When my son was still in high school, Liu Wei and I chose to live our own quiet lives.
I didn't feel particularly sad after the divorce, and I knew it was the best option. I still have a job, I have friends, and I have a son who cares and loves me immensely. However, when I learned that my ex-husband had remarried and had children, I felt a lot of waves in my heart.
Mom, what's wrong with you?How did you get depressed all day?The son asked with concern.
It's nothing, maybe it's tired from work. I coped with it casually, but I couldn't hide the loss and regret in my heart.
Watching my ex-husband re-enter the palace of marriage, while I was alone, my heart swelled with all kinds of feelings. Perhaps, what I care about is not his marriage, but the remorse and unwillingness of my life choice in the face of my ex-husband's remarriage and childbirth.
In the dead of night, I often sit alone in front of the window, silently gazing at the starry sky outside the window. I'm thinking, why should I choose divorce?The problem between me and Liu Wei was that I didn't work hard to overcome it and maintain this marriage?Perhaps, the choice was wrong, and maybe I shouldn't have left him at all.
However, when I look back on the disputes and unpleasantness of the past, I feel that leaving is the right choice. I don't want to go back to the old life of being full of arguments and contradictions every day. What I longed for was a happy and happy marriage, and that marriage seemed to have really come true after I left.
Li Xue, why are you smoking again?It's not good for the body!Liu Wei's voice suddenly sounded.
I looked up at Liu Wei, and a trace of complicated emotions spontaneously arose in my heart. After 20 years of marriage, we used to love each other and quarrel because of some things. Gradually, the love fades away, and the quarrel remains.
I silently lit a cigarette and took a soft puff. I looked at my ex-husband, I didn't know what was going on in his mind, and I didn't want to ask. The emotion between me and Liu Wei has disappeared like a smoke, and it is vulnerable.
Mom, don't be depressed all the time, anyway, Dad remarried, and it has nothing to do with us. "My son seemed to see through my mind and tried to enlighten me.
I know, but there's always something wrong with me. I smiled weakly, I didn't want my son to be affected by my emotions.
The divorce from my ex-husband made me more determined in my choice. I started to focus more on my work and treat my son more attentively. But that news made me re-examine my life and choices.