Recently, my sister's children came to live in my house, and the house became lively all of a sudden, and some small things happened, which gave me a new understanding of family life, especially how to deal with children's rebellion and disobedience.
It was also after some bumps, bumps, and in-depth observation and reflection that I discovered the New World and can't wait to share it with you. I hope it will be helpful to you as well.
Here's the thing:
My sister's child is a little girl, with big round eyes and long eyelashes, blinking and blinking, and a bulging face, which is very cute.
She usually has a very good personality, lively and cute, and is not afraid of life. The room was filled with laughter, and the whole family loved her.
But she also has times when she is rebellious, and no one can persuade her to be rebellious. That is, she especially likes to watch TV, and every time she watches TV, she can't take her eyes off it, ignoring anyone's call, and is indifferent to anything.
I watched it for hours, and I didn't listen to the persuasion to turn off the TV. If anyone turns off the TV directly for her, she will immediately start snatching it, and it doesn't matter who you are.
If you don't give it to her, you will instantly become her enemy, and she will directly hit you and push you. Stares at you viciously, and if she loses, she will cry loudly, and the cry will be earth-shattering.
You have to turn the TV back on.
One night she was intently watching a cartoon, and as far as I know she had been watching it for at least two hours, and saw dry eyes rubbing her eyes.
I said: You've been watching it for a long time, and the TV and you are going to take a break, so I can't watch this episode. Miraculously, she agreed. But it's not that simple.
When I turned off the TV after watching this episode, she immediately disagreed, and I had to snatch the remote control, but I didn't give it back to her, and she started beating me, which was very fierce.
At that moment, I was determined to cure her, but I didn't give it to her, and told her loudly that I couldn't see it, and I said that if I didn't see it, I couldn't watch it. Just didn't give it, she cried loudly.
I don't back down, my philosophy is that I'm good to my children because I love you, not because I'm afraid of you. Who are you threatening with such a fierce today, no matter how hard you cry, I won't give it to you.
And I smashed the remote control in front of her and told her loudly that if you watch TV at a fixed time, then you can watch it every day. You're so disobedient, now it's okay, you can't watch TV in the future. Hmph!
She was still crying loudly, and I showed her the remote control that was broken into pieces, and told her that it was useless to cry again, there was no remote control. Cry if you want.
She slowly stopped crying under the comfort of my mother-in-law.
It's over, and I'm wondering why she likes to watch TV so muchIs it just because the cartoons are good?She'd seen these cartoons many times. Why does she still like to watch it?
I began to observe and understand the underlying problems of this matter, and gradually I realized that there was no one to play with her.
She's only over two years old and hasn't gone to school yet, so she has a lot of time to do, and I'm often busy with my own things, so I play with her for two minutes once in a while.
My mother-in-law has rarely taken her out to play lately, and she stays at home every day when it's cold. My mother-in-law often looked at her phone to listen to lectures, and she often played alone, and over time she became bored.
Many of her toys were not brought either.
So watching TV became her only pleasure, so she only watched TV for a few hours at a time. Whoever turns off the TV, she hits whomever she wants.
Knowing this, I quickly bought her a variety of small toys and played with her for a long time, and she flew happily. Didn't want to watch TV for a day.
She also fell asleep happily at night.
Through this incident, I was shocked, it turned out that what I thought was rebellion was only because I didn't understand her, I saw the surface but didn't understand the underlying reasons.
I violently disciplined her through experience, so that it seemed like I had won, but in fact she had just become afraid of me. Because of the disparity in ability, she couldn't do anything, she could only compromise.
I looked at all this from her point of view, and suddenly felt very ashamed, because she couldn't say it, and no one else understood her, so I misunderstood her and thought she was a bad boy with a paranoid personality and a bad temper.
easily made a judgment on her, and her own view of the problem was too incomplete. It's really important to communicate more with your child and care more about your child. Try to meet the reasonable psychological needs of children as much as possible. At the same time, we should patiently tell her what she can and can't do.
Including if I have a child in the future, I must also listen patiently to his voice, deeply understand and discover the truth of the matter, so as to get along with the child more correctly.
Family relationship, parent-child relationship will be more harmonious.
That's all for today's sharing, I hope it will be helpful to everyone. If you have any different opinions, please feel free to leave a message.
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