When you hear "Mabao", what do you think?
Not financially independent?
Not assertive?Only the mother's order is obeyed?
Can't live independently?
And so on, let the opposite sex choose, when you meet such a man or woman, it is estimated that you can run faster than a rabbit.
But there is that kind of person, he has the ability to earn money and can live independently, but he can't do without his mother's control.
And they are called "Ma Bao", are they overly motherly loved?
Zhu Yuchen, a male star with great potential, because of his mother, his career was blocked, not to mention, he is still single at the age of 44.
Zhu Yuchen became popular with the role of "Huazi" in "Struggle", and the subsequent "Who Calls the Shots in My Youth" and "The Age of Little Couples" continued to be popular.
If he can continue to exert his strength, he will be able to enter the ranks of first-line students just around the corner.
However, all of this was fiercely pulled by a thread behind him, making him suffocate and at the same time could only stand still, or even regress.
When he was in college, it was the first time Zhu Yuchen left home, and after sending him to the dormitory, his mother asked his roommates one by one if he was snoring, for fear of making noise until his son went to sleep.
When she saw the creeper outside the window, she once wanted to scald it to death with boiling water, for fear that it would attract insects and mosquitoes.
Such "care" makes people feel a trace of oppression. But at that time, everyone didn't think much about it, and it was generally believed that the child left home for a while, and the mother was too reluctant.
But then his mother's interference was like a net firmly covering Zhu Yuchen, and the more he wanted to escape, the tighter he was dressed.
That year, Zhu Yuchen and Tang Wei, who had a one-sided relationship with the art examination, fell in love at first sight, the two young hearts slowly approached, and after some discussion, the two rented a house and lived together.
Somehow, Zhu's mother knew the news, and she rushed over non-stop, especially when she saw that all the housework was done by Zhu Yuchen, she broke out and strongly asked the two to break up.
In this way, this relationship ended without a hitch under the forcible intervention of Zhu's mother.
After that, Zhu Yuchen will have a girlfriend again, and he will choose the kind of girl who can do housework and cook, he thinks that such a girl, his mother has to be picky, and he likes it too, so it would be better.
Following this condition, Huo Siyan, who became acquainted with the play, walked into his sight, Huo Siyan was well-behaved and sensible at first glance, could cook and do housework, and was also beautiful, Zhu Yuchen was very satisfied with this girlfriend.
But in the subsequent relationship, this careful girl found Zhu's mother's "excessive concern" for Zhu Yuchen, and although Zhu Yuchen resisted, it had little effect, she couldn't accept it, and finally broke up decisively.
Jiang Yan, Zhu Yuchen's third girlfriend, can do housework and cook, and Zhu's mother was also very satisfied at first.
But it was defeated by Jiang Yan's cool dress, that time, Jiang Yan visited Zhu's house for the first time and wore a camisole, which made Zhu's mother prejudiced and thought that she was not a girl who was going through her life.
In this way, with the intervention of Zhu's mother, Zhu Yuchen broke up.
Zhu's mother once said in the show that she loved her son with her life, perhaps, this is the kind of recognition that made Zhu Yuchen move forward with heavy maternal love in his mother's crying, making trouble and hanging himself.
Because, Zhu's mother interfered not only with his feelings, but also with his work.
Zhu Yuchen went out to film, Zhu's mother was always afraid that her son would not eat well, so she took pots and pans to take care of her son, if she just cooked for her son, it would be understandable.
But she is not, she always interferes with Zhu Yuchen when he is filming, such as the director can't criticize Zhu Yuchen, and the actor can't beat Zhu Yuchen, even if it's acting.
Such forcible interference made Zhu Yuchen's career plummet, and no one dared to film with him anymore.
Now Zhu Yuchen is 44 years old, but he is still alone, and I don't know if his mother regrets his too much interference.
Mother's love is selfless and great, but when mother's love is excessive, what is ushered in is shackles and pain, and what is left is just to be freed.
Do you still remember Yang Yuanyuan, who has been in graduate school but hanged himself in the bathroom?
Yang Yuanyuan, who was born in 1979, has a happy family.
His father was a rare college student in that era, with a good job, and his mother was at home with her husband and children, and the family of four was happy.
But when Yang Yuanyuan was 6 years old, his father died of illness, leaving the mother and son with three children, struggling.
It's not that no one has introduced others to her mother, but with her father Zhuyu in front, how can others get into her mother's eyes.
In this way, the mother found a job in a factory, with less pay and more work, raising children, and working, which was too difficult for the mother who used to be idle, and over time, she became paranoid and irritable.
The mother is strict on the one hand, and let the two children study hard;On the other hand, it is easy to be in a bad mood, and he will either beat or scold his sister and brother.
Fortunately, the sisters and brothers are also competitive, and their academic performance has always been among the best.
As the sisters and brothers grow up, their mother's desire to control is getting stronger and stronger, especially to Yang Yuanyuan, who constantly tells her that it is not easy.
When Yang Yuanyuan took the college entrance examination, she intervened decisively, and finally Yang Yuanyuan gave up the law she liked and applied for economics at Wuhan University instead.
At this time, the mother spread her hands and said that she had no money.
Yang Yuanyuan was unwilling to admit defeat, she applied for a student loan and started working and studying, she didn't expect her mother to give her any more money.
But I never expected that two years later, my younger brother was admitted to college, and my mother found her again, for the following reasons:"If you can take out your own loan to go to school, then it's not a problem to raise money for your brother's tuition. ”
Since then, his younger brother has also become Yang Yuanyuan's responsibility.
Yang Yuanyuan feels that even if she bears her brother's expenses, as long as she studies hard and finds a good job in the future, her life is still worth looking forward to.
However, her mother was laid off, and this became the beginning of her nightmare.
In 2000, due to the relocation of the factory, the new factory did not provide accommodation, and if you wanted to work, you had to find your own way.
When Yang Yuanyuan learned the news, his 50-year-old mother had already taken early retirement and packed her bags to come to her.
At first, Yang Yuanyuan wanted to find a hotel for his mother, stay for a few days, and choose to come and go, but his mother was either too expensive or in poor condition.
In the end, his mother lived in Yang Yuanyuan's dormitory, and she didn't plan to leave this time, cooking, knitting sweaters, eating melon seeds, etc., as if she regarded the dormitory as her own private place.
The roommates couldn't bear it anymore, and reported the situation to the school, and even isolated Yang Yuanyuan.
After the school learned about the situation, out of humanitarian concern, it not only arranged a separate dormitory for Yang Yuanyuan's mother and daughter, but also made a small stall at the school gate, so that the mother could have something to do and some income.
Two years later, Yang Yuanyuan graduated, but because she still owed tuition fees, her graduation certificate could not be issued as scheduled, which brought difficulties in finding a job.
Although it was difficult for Yang Yuanyuan at this time, he still did not give up his dream.
She looked for a job and paid the tuition fees she owed, supported her younger brother and mother, and later went to graduate school for the civil service examination.
But they all died because they couldn't get out of their mother's control, and her mother stared at her even tighter, and even when she was taking a shower, she had to move a stool and sit at the door.
Yang Yuanyuan had enough of this kind of life, so when she learned that she was admitted to Shanghai Maritime University as a graduate student, she thought she could take a breath.
But his mother chased after him again, and without saying a word, he lived in Yang Yuanyuan's dormitory.
At this time, Yang Yuanyuan was 30 years old, although her roommates were young, they all had a certain amount of experience, and no one was used to Yang Yuanyuan's mother anymore.
In desperation, Yang Yuanyuan applied for a separate dormitory, and at the same time, with the help of the counselor, rented a house and lived temporarily outside.
However, her mother's chatter, abuse, and the idea that the whole world was sorry for her deeply exhausted Yang Yuanyuan.
That night, Yang Yuanyuan did not return all night, and when she was found again, she had hanged herself in the bathroom.
Afterwards, her mother still didn't feel that she was at fault, she made a big fuss at the school and claimed 350,000 yuan.
After the truth was revealed step by step, the school gave the other party 160,000 yuan in compensation out of humanitarianism.
The matter is over, and I don't know if Yang Yuanyuan, who hanged himself, lived the life he wanted in another world.
After all, her will is only ten words, and that is"I want to live my life".
When the child is morally kidnapped in the name of "maternal love", no matter how much the child does, as long as he says, "I am for your good" or "I am your mother", so that the child can be firmly tied to his side, after all, blood is inseparable!
When a mother's love becomes "deformed", will the child in it feel that everything is normal, or will it be extremely embarrassing?
This year, the mother's behavior at a wedding in Shanxi sparked heated discussions among netizens.
On the day of their son's wedding, his parents took the stage to give a speech.
The groom's father is enthusiastically saying the blessing, the groom's mother is "glued" to her son's side, and the groom next to him is holding the bride with his left hand and his mother with his right hand.
Seeing this, if it is said that the mother thinks of her hard work and hardships, and sees her raised son getting married, her heart is full of feelings, and it is understandable.
But then, the mother put her whole body on her son, whispering in her son's ear with an affectionate and shy expression.
Seeing this, the bride on the side barely maintained the smile on her face, and held the groom's hand tightly and tightly, hoping that they would pay attention to the occasion.
But who knows, the groom's mother actually cried as she spoke, and saw her tears rippling, as if she had been greatly wronged, holding her son's hand and wiping her tears.
The smile on the bride's face finally couldn't be maintained, and the bride's parents also had shocked expressions.
The relatives in the audience looked even more incredible, and an elderly aunt was so shocked that her mouth grew up.
The mother who doesn't let go, the groom who takes into account his mother's feelings and doesn't want to let go, and the bride who has no choice but to digest it on her own.
This seems to indicate that the overturning of this marriage is only a matter of time.
As soon as this incident came out, netizens shouted to the bride: "Don't get married quickly!."”
After all, such a mother-child relationship without a sense of boundaries will sooner or later cause the bride's pain!
Mother and child are two separate individuals, and the sense of boundary is like a fence between one's own garden and the neighbor's garden.
Such a fence reminds both sides that this is my territory, and that is yours.
A sentence of "I am your mother" is like a mantra, as soon as it comes out, the child must give and return unconditionally.
However, its lethality is more than that, it is more like pushing the fence to "do whatever you want on other people's turf."
Borders are to maintain independence and freedom from each other, but also to protect the weak from the strong.
Mother, a relative, an elder, has all the conditions of a natural "strong".
Under such conditions, a mother can peek into her children's diaries, look through their bags, and impose her will on her children, and a sentence of "I am for your good" can counteract all harm.
And children grow up on the reason of "I am good for you", although even if the mother's actions are not right, he or she will habitually think that I should obey my mother, she is for my good.
But as they grow up, their children learn and gain more knowledge, and they realize that what their mother is doing is wrong, and at this time, they quarrel with their mother, have cold wars, and even stay away.
In this way, they want to establish boundaries and show their mothers that they are individuals.
For example, Zhu Yuchen chose to go out to study and work, but failed;Yang Yuanyuan hoped to change his fate through reading, but his mother's shadow ruined everything;
Another example is the groom who holds his mother's hand, although he later clarified that he has been working outside for a long time, and his mother has not seen him for a long time, it cannot be denied that he is his mother's greatest emotional support.
A mother's love can carry and cover her children.
A good mother's love can lift her children to go higher and fartherExcessive maternal love is like a firm shackle, trapping children in it, struggling and struggling, they can only carry it forward!
Perhaps, such a child can only really get out of control by breaking himself, crumbling himself, and raising himself again!
Source**: Network information.
The author of this article |Composed.
Editor-in-Charge |Drizzle.