Family communication is the most terrible, outweighing the economic pressure of poverty
The worst thing that can happen to a family is not poverty, but the inability to speak properly.
Recently, a topic has attracted a lot of attention: what is the most worrying thing about a family?
The main opinion is that the worst thing is not the lack of wealth, nor the sickness, but the inability of family members to communicate well with each other.
The unfair distribution of wealth often creates chaos, and a harmonious family is enough to eradicate poverty.
A family full of bad words, no matter how rich it is, will make people want to run away;On the contrary, a harmonious and warm family, no matter how simple it is, will make people deeply nostalgic.
Even more terrible than poverty is the verbal abuse between family members.
Sarcasm will only drive the relationship further and further. I once watched a show that made a big impression on me:
On stage, a woman reveals the daily behavior of men amid screams of pain.
She bought new clothes, but he laughed at her for being ugly.
She prepares a meal with great care, but whenever one dish is not to his liking, he will lash out.
Even if he asks him something to put in **, he always answers:"Don't you have eyes yourself?
What she will never forget is that she was accidentally involved in a traffic accident.
She pleaded for comfort and care, but was met with a barrage of insults.
This life has been going on for more than a decade, and she is now heartbroken and determined to end the marriage.
When the wife felt sad, the husband replied calmly"I have riches, and I have not deceived you. It's just a blunt thing, why would you ignore it?
Eventually, the marriage left the woman frustrated.
While marriage makes us the closest partners, it shouldn't be a reason to be rude in our words.
Desire of the Hills:
Whispering can tear a person's heart apart and sometimes hurt more than physical violence"。
Wounds on the body, though horrific and terrifying, heal over time.
Words can't be written to hurt people, but they can hit people's hearts and destroy a person and a family in an instant.
The real reason for ending a marriage is usually not the financial situation of the family, but the offensive words that accumulate over time.
* The cause of death of the great writer Tolstoy was the verbal violence of his wife.
In this well-known and wealthy family, his wife, Sophia, often ridiculed and criticized her husband.
In the end, Tolstoy could not bear it anymore and left the sad house on a stormy night.
Even at the end of his life, he was reluctant to look at his wife more, leaving her with lifelong regrets.
As the old saying goes.
Good words are like warm silk, and insults are like halberd spears.
No matter how deep the feelings are, they can't withstand the vicious words again and again;No matter how warm your heart is, it can't withstand rounds of cold water.
Eventually, people's hearts will become cold, feelings will fade, and people will stay away.
So, don't be so stupid as to use your words to ruin the relationship between the people who love you and the relationships you enjoy. The family is not a debate arena and there is no need to discuss the merits;The family is not a battlefield, and there is no need to distinguish between winning and losing.
Love must be expressed with the heart.
Verbal violence can have a devastating impact on your child.
Do you have a Xi of yelling at your children, or do you tend to use humiliating language, motivate them with beatings, and expect them to be what you think they are?
This practice tends to have the opposite effect.
Although your yelling makes the child appear complacent on the surface and quickly achieves the desired effect, in reality the child does not get the correct perception and becomes stupid.
According to a study by Harvard Medical School:
Children who have been subjected to verbal violence from their parents for a long time have less gray matter in the prefrontal cortex and amygdala of the brain, resulting in slower brain responses and relatively sluggish language and motor skills.
What's more, tantrums towards children can damage their mental world and even cause psychological problems.
"Tantrum Screaming Mom" vividly describes the impact of verbal violence on children.
The baby penguin, who was loudly reprimanded by her mother, was severely damaged physically and mentally, and her soul became fragmented.
The head floats in the universe, full of inferiority complex and shyness, and begins to escape from reality;
The stomach will sink to the bottom and develop the Xi of overeating;
Wings drifting into the tropical jungle, the longing to run away from home and the morbid trust in strangers;
The mouth was beaten to the top of the mountain, and since then it has become flattering and unwilling to take the initiative to communicate...
Therefore, never underestimate every word you say to your child because they can profoundly affect your child's life. Don't indulge your emotions at will, either, so as not to regret it in the future.
You may remember a Peking University graduate who was often despised by his parents and eventually ostracized them. In an interview, he said bitterly.
His parents had never written him down for more than 20 years, but most of what they heard were accusations that he was stupid.
These negative words pierced his heart like a sharp blade, making him feel that he was a person who did not deserve respect.
In a family, there is no greater stupidity than the child is not defeated by external difficulties, but ruined by the mouths of their parents.
Professor Susan Ward emphasized:
Children can't tell the difference between facts and jokes, they always believe what their parents say about them and internalize it.
The father's mouth is the son's fate.
Therefore, whatever you want your child to become, speak accordingly.
Good communication is the best feng shui for a family. So says the Mirror of the World
There is no evil in the home, and there is no prosperity in the home"。
A family full of accusations and malice is doomed to failure, while a family full of harmony can gradually become rich even if it is financially poor.
Yu Xu, the doctor of the Jin Kingdom, was exiled to China because his father was implicated.
Although life is going downhill, Yu Qiuyu did not bring his resentment home, and his wife did not blame him for this.
The two get along with each other day and night.
One day, the doctor Xu Chen passed by here on a business trip and saw the couple sitting together for dinner, talking and laughing, and was deeply moved.
After returning to the court, Xu Chen recommended to Duke Wen of Jin and said"The couple respect each other like guests, and they love each other, such a character must be extraordinary, please take a look at the king again. "
As a result, Yu Xu was reappointed as a military governor and soon became the commander of the Jin state.
Plant rhizomes say:
When a family member makes a mistake, you shouldn't get angry and you shouldn't give up easily. Like spring breeze and rain, such as harmony and wealth, this is the model of the family. "
Family harmony, happiness and nature.
The warm atmosphere not only makes both parties feel happy and happy, but also subtly changes the fate of the whole family.
Mr. Yang Jiang mentions this in his autobiography:
His life's achievements are inseparable from the deep affection between his parents.
In particular, whenever he recalls the scene of his parents sitting in front of the kind dialogue like a gentle breeze and drizzle, his heart is filled with infinite warmth and strength.
She especially identified with a sentence in the newspaper:
The affection between parents and children, the friendship between brothers, and the harmony between husband and wife are the source of family prosperity.
The support of our loved ones is our driving force;The approval of parents is the confidence of children to go out into the world.
There is no better food for a family than harmony between family members.
Conclusion. As the saying goes:"One word prospers the country, and one word destroys the country"。
The power of language is endless.
A kind word can instantly make people smile;A bad word can make a house collapse in an instant.
Knowing how to treat each other well is the most important thing in marriage"Spiritual medicine"。
Don't care about big and small things, don't quarrel over trivial matters, don't renovate old accounts and new accounts, don't compare ups and downs, and the family is naturally becoming more and more beautiful.