I'm Xiaoli, a young wife and mother. In the past few days, my life seems to have been shattered by a small turmoil, a storm in which my mother-in-law read out the "wife's rules" to me.
The story begins at a family dinner, where my mother-in-law suddenly offered to read me a copy of the "wife's rules", claiming that it was read to her when she married into a wealthy family, and now it was time to pass it on to the new family members.
This "wife's rule" is rich in content, including how to cook, take care of household chores, respect for mother-in-law, how to educate children, and so on. Listening to this rule, I can't accept it. In my opinion, families should be equal and work together, not one person tied to a myriad of regulations.
However, I did not express my dissatisfaction. I sat at the table and listened quietly. My mother-in-law spoke with rely, looking at me from time to time, as if waiting for my consent to these regulations.
After the dinner, my mother-in-law began to ask me one by one if I could follow these rules. Her gaze was serious and determined, as if it were a trial of my family responsibilities. I felt a wave of disgust in my heart, but in order to maintain family harmony, I had to nod my head and say yes, saying that I would do my best.
However, this decision caused quite a stir in the family. My husband Xiao Ming, although he did not make a clear statement, but in his eyes, I could see a trace of helplessness and dissatisfaction. He knew that I was an independent and assertive person, and his mother-in-law's actions made him feel a little embarrassed.
At night, Xiao Ming and I sat in bed and talked about all this. He whispered to me, "Honey, I know you're not Xi to this kind of bondage, but Mom is from that era, and her values are different. Maybe we can communicate slowly and try to make her understand. ”
His understanding warmed my heart, but at the same time, it strengthened my belief that I could not be bound by these rules. So, Xiao Ming and I decided to find a balance under my mother-in-law's rules, so that the family would not be rifted because of these regulations.
In the days that followed, I tried to live up to the "wife rules" required by my mother-in-law, while also sticking to my own principles within a moderate range. Sometimes, my mother-in-law and I have friction over housework, but we are slowly finding a tacit understanding. I've found that communication is the best way to solve problems, not to be submissive.
However, the most shocking day was yet to come. Once, when I was cooking, I forgot a dish that my mother-in-law particularly liked. When she saw it, she no longer blamed me as before, but smiled and said, "Xiaoli, it's okay, you just have to work hard." These regulations are just a reference, and the most important thing for a family is that everyone can live happily. ”
I was relieved to say that. Perhaps, the mother-in-law is not so rigid, and she is also trying to adapt to the new family members. And I also understand that everyone in the family has their own Xi and ways, and we should work together under the premise of respect.
In the days that followed, the family gradually returned to peace. The mother-in-law no longer emphasizes the "wife rule", but pays more attention to the communication and understanding between us. My relationship with Xiao Ming has also become closer, and we have learned how to find common ground between different ideas, rather than blindly compromise.
This experience made me understand that although my mother-in-law's "wife rules" are a bit outdated, her original intention is to maintain family harmony. Each of us is struggling to adjust to a new environment and role, which takes time and patience. In the process, we also learned more about family, about love and understanding. Perhaps, sometimes a small turmoil can bring us more harvest and growth.