Recently, I often hear colleagues complain about the problem of children becoming obsessed with playing with mobile phones.
Today's children are so addicted to playing with mobile phones, my family is only two years old, and I have to play with my mobile phone every day. "I don't let my children play, and my children still have the words 'why can you play but I can't play' can make people angry."
Talking about this topic, everyone is helpless. How can I help my child quit his mobile phone?
In fact, sometimes, it's not that it's too difficult to quit mobile phones, but that the method is not right. Children will not be addicted to playing with mobile phones from birth, and we parents must have taken the initiative to stuff mobile phones into our children at first. For example, when a child is crying;For example, when you are tired after a day and want to clean up when you get home from work;For example, when you don't feel comfortable with your child at school and want to be able to contact them at any time.
But friends, we can't treat mobile phones as a shortcut to bringing children and ask them not to be addicted, which is unfair to children. Children are young, curious, the more things they can't get, the more they want, and the more they blindly prohibit playing with mobile phones, the greater their desires.
Some parents will say, then I don't prohibit it, I limit the time, and strictly stipulate that I play for half an hour or watch two episodes of TV every day, which is scientific enough, right?
nono。This may seem like a good idea, but it will make your child develop the habit of playing with their phone every day. You think you're watching him two episodes a day, but in fact, you're giving him the right to two episodes a day, 365 days a year, not one less day. Originally, the child didn't want to play with his mobile phone every day, but as soon as the restriction came, if he didn't play one day, he felt that he had lost 100 million!
There is a little friend in the office, and her children are only allowed to watch two episodes of cartoons a day. Because of this regulation, the child has developed the habit of having to play with the mobile phone every day. Even if you lie in bed after a day of happy play, you can sit up in a hazy sleep, "No, I haven't watched today's cartoon yet!.""If you don't let me watch it, I won't sleep, and I agreed that two episodes are two episodes, and I can't miss a beginning or an end.
Where did this obsession come from?It is given by "limited agreements". You give others the right to play with their mobile phones, but they still try to control it, the older the child, the more they naturally want, the addiction is getting bigger and bigger, and it is more and more difficult to manage. Eventually, how long to play with the phone will become a power struggle between children and parents.
So what's the right thing to do?
In fact, every time we talk about children's use of mobile phones, our children will be discussed as "outliers". Not to mention addicted, he can't remember to play with his phone most of the time. Even if you play, it's not addictive, just find a reason to turn it off and play.
I also often wonder what is the reason?Now it seems that the main points are these three points:
First of all, our family has never let our child bring his mobile phone to school, and from the very beginning we told him that school is a place of learning, and mobile phones cannot be brought to school, just like toys cannot be brought to school. Because we were not worried about the child, we gave him an electronic student ID card of China Mobile. This electronic student ID is a simple mobile phone, which can set up 3 family affections**, and children can talk to their families at any time. It can also be used to set up a safety fence for children, if the child runs around or goes to another place, it will immediately alert parents, and it also has a positioning function, and most importantly, there is no entertainment function of the mobile phone, and it will not affect the child's learning.
Secondly, when we are at home, we are not limited or indulgent when it comes to playing with mobile phones. To be honest, there has never been a ban or restriction on mobile phones in my house. I agree with my child whenever he wants to play, and I rarely tell him how long he can only play. Even sometimes when I suddenly have work to do, and my children keep pestering me, I will take the initiative to say, do you want to watch the documentary channel for a while?
Because of this sense of control that you can see if you want to, children don't feel any different about mobile phones. For them, it's like a picture book or a toy at home.
Of course, not restricting does not mean really letting it go. For example, if the child has been watching for half an hour or my work is over, I will quietly arrange some other interesting activities, such as putting together a puzzle with the child or taking them downstairs for a walk to distract the child.
In fact, children will always prefer to interact with people and explore outdoors, when we fill the child's heart and boring time with more interesting or high-quality parent-child companionship, mobile phones are no longer necessary.
Finally, the content should be carefully chosen. Even if you really don't have the time or energy to arrange so many rich activities for your child, and your child just wants to play with his mobile phone, then you must control the content.
You can appropriately show your child some documentaries, popular science animations, native English animations, etc., and you can also choose some learning puzzle apps for your children to play. The office friends unanimously agreed: watching this kind of content, children will never be addicted, because it is not so exciting, it is "boring" enough!Because it takes a lot of brains!
In addition, some high-quality cartoons are actually not particularly addictive, because of the design of cartoons, the ending song at the end of each episode is very ceremonial, and it is easy to "interrupt".
One thing that needs to be emphasized is that the short ** of "pan-entertainment" will never be provided to children in my family. Because these forms and contents are the culprits that will make children "addicted".
The current short** platform will accurately grasp personal preferences and needs, and what type of ** you like, it will always push it to you. Moreover, the infinite slide mode allows you to never stop, and before you know it, you will brush for a long time, and adults can't control it, let alone children. So I think that in the childhood stage, there is no need to let the child experience this kind of **.
Mobile phones can be played, but short ** can not let children swipe casually. You will find that in fact, the more high-quality content, the less likely it is to become "addicted", and the more non-nutritious the content, the more children can't stop.