My child is shy and doesn t make friends easily. Should I be worried?

Mondo Parenting Updated on 2024-01-19

While childhood shyness is commonplace, it worries many parents, especially those who place a high value on social competence.

Some children become shy because of their hard life experiences, but most children are born that way.

For some children, social situations and interactions can be scary. When they come into contact with new children, they rarely feel at ease.

Often, they are unwilling or unable to take the first step, preferring to give up potential friendships rather than reach out to unfamiliar people. Some of these timid children may be emotionally distressed, but they are in the minority. In fact, some children are just naturally withdrawn and slow to warm up in new situations.

In some cases, shyness can lead to an inability to integrate into society.

Children who are extremely shy often don't fit in as well as most of their peers in the classroom and playground. The longer this pattern exists, the harder it is for the child to change. Shyness can increasingly lead to purposeful avoidance of social situations and withdrawal, and ultimately to the inability to function effectively as a social adult.

However, most shy children excel in interpersonal and social settings once they have passed the initial adjustment period.

Children who struggle to build and maintain relationships even after the icebreaker period deserve more attention and attention.

Eventually, many, perhaps most, shy children learn to overcome their tendencies.

The way they operate is not overtly timid or taciturn, although they may still feel shy inside.

Parents can gently guide or guide their children into social situations so that they learn to interact successfully.

Most children want to be liked, but some are slow to learn how to make friends Xi. Others may crave companionship but may be excluded from one group or another, possibly being picked on for their way of dressing, poor personal hygiene, obesity, or even language barriers.

If teens exhibit disruptive or aggressive behavior, they are often rejected by their peers. Still others may be hovering on the edge of one group or another but never really noticed. These neglected children spend most of their time alone.

Rejected young people are openly disliked by their peers and constantly feel unwelcome. They usually tend to be aggressive or destructive and are very sensitive to teasing. They may be bullies and rule-breakers, or they may be so uncertain about themselves that they invite rejection from others. They may also be rejected because of their impulsiveness and destructive behavior. Some of them may have attention deficit or ADHD.

Neglected children, on the other hand, are not openly rejected and teased, but tend to simply be ignored, forgotten, not invited to parties, and the last to be selected for the team.

These young people may be perceived as lonely, but may be passive and hate their isolation. Others may actually prefer to be alone.

The latter group may be respected and admired by others, but only feel more comfortable alone or spending time with parents, siblings, other adults, and even pets.

They may also lack the social skills and self-confidence needed to enter the social sphere, often because of limited social experience.

Or they may be shy, quieter, and more introverted than most of their peers.

Successful peer interaction requires a variety of skills and special ways of interacting. Parents should look for these skills in their children and help develop and model them.

Deal with failures and setbacks.

Coping with success. Dealing with change and transition.

Deal with rejection and teasing.

Manage anger. Use humor.

Forgive. Apologize.

Refuse to accept, dare to accept.

Come up with fun things to do.

Show love. Avoid dangerous situations.

Defend yourself.

Comfort someone. Share.

Make a request. Self-disclosure.

Praise. Express gratitude.

Coping with losses. Stand up for your friends.

Help people. Ask for help.

Help others. Keep it a secret.

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