When two people are together, not all combinations are immediately recognizable. Sometimes it takes a long time for them to truly become a family.
Although love is the glue of human nature, it is undeniable that two people who have just gotten married and live under the same roof are still two independent individuals in their bones, and there is no way to fully integrate them.
This means that just after getting married, men may see women as outsiders.
This reality is worrying, but it is real. If you find yourself in such a situation, instead of arguing, do so.
First of all, accept the reality and don't quarrel.
As one of my readers confided in me, I married my husband three months after a blind date and separated after marriage.
The other party asked the reader to go to his city, but the reader was unwilling and offered to give himself 3,000 yuan a month as compensation;Of course, this request was rejected by the reader's husband, and both were at an impasse and unwilling to back down.
Readers ask me, what's wrong with their feelings?
To put it bluntly, they don't have a deep sense of identity with each other, they don't have enough trust in each other, and they are not willing to give themselves completely for each other. Treat your partner as an outsider, so there will be too much measurement and care.
Love is really beautiful. He can unite two people he didn't know before and enter into married life.
But in fact, no matter how much two people love each other, each person is an individual, and the experience of independence in the past makes it difficult for us to welcome a person into our lives.
Especially after marriage, it seems to be a difficult problem for two people to share everything, whether it is money or time.
Instead of forcing it to accept, it is better to accept the reality, give the other party a time limit to adapt, let the emotions gradually warm up in the process of getting along, and let the feelings change from fragmented sand to complete integration with each other.
Second, do what you have to do and give everything time.
The great-grandson Ya in "Beijing Moment" was arranged by her family to marry Yao Mulan, and her inner world was extremely repulsive. He never gave Yao Mulan a good face, and even ignored the opposition of his family and Yao Mulan's feelings, and stayed with other women.
Yao Mulan knew from the beginning that this marriage was a mistake, because she married someone she didn't like and didn't like herself, so when the other party treated her as an outsider, she cared but couldn't do anything.
All she can do is to fulfill her duties seriously, marry her husband, work hard, and protect her marriage and husband.
In the end, Yao Mulan's efforts were seen by great-grandson Ya, and in the end, they were honest with each other and became a heart-to-heart couple.
When two people run the same family together, one of them has to give in first.
If after marrying a man, the other party regards himself as an outsider, if we adopt the same mentality and behavior as the other person, it will only pull the relationship between the two people further and further apart.
A truly intelligent woman will do her job on the premise of accepting reality.
Warm each other's hearts with deeds, and exchange sincerity for sincerity.
With a man who sees himself as an outsider, don't try to get the other person's vigilance and attention by "an eye for an eye", which will only make the two people more and more distant.
A really smart woman knows how to soften with her fingers and eliminate her insistence.