In feudal society, a woman's widowhood can be interpreted as the premature death of her husband or the divorce of her husband, and in general, she is often discriminated against, and her situation is more miserable and painful.
Modern people have a deeper meaning and interpretation of widowhood, often calling the husband and wife separated from each other, or the husband being unable to fulfill his husband's obligations due to physical defects, also called widowhood, or more vividly called "living widow".
In any case, women treat the state of "widowhood" in their bones and are unwilling to accept it.
But life is grinding, many men leave their hometowns and are displaced in order to support their families and have a better future for their children, and they have no choice but to "stay alive and widowed" for their wives.
For women, "staying alive and widowing" is difficult, tormenting, and very grinding.
The following women's "living widow" experience is thought-provoking.
01: I have been separated from my husband for a long time, and I have more and less together.
Sister Ling is middle-aged, 47 years old. Their love is also a long-distance relationship, thinking about love every day, he went to live with her every month from other places to see each other, which was very fresh, and there was nothing wrong with it. After talking for a few years, they got married.
After getting married, Sister Ling asked her husband to return to the small county town to work, and her husband also felt that after marriage, the husband and wife should be together.
Soon, their child was born, which soon broke their quality of life, working in this small county, the salary was very low, a thousand yuan a month, plus there was a little baby, the expenses were stretched, the income was too low, the family was poor and everything was sad, and the quarrels between husband and wife slowly increased.
As a last resort, my husband still went out to work, and my husband still sent a few thousand yuan home on time every month, and the economic situation gradually improved.
Sister Ling, at the beginning, her husband would come back once a month, and slowly changed to come back once every two months, and then later, every year it was the Spring Festival or Mid-Autumn Festival, and he came back.
The husband's income is getting higher and higher year by year, but the relationship between the husband and wife is getting worse and worse, although he is married, he has a husband, he can hope that the "husband" is out of reach, and he feels the same as not getting married.
Everything in the house is carried by one person. The child's care, learning and Xi counseling, all housework, he is not around, can not rely on, especially when the child is sick, anxious to turn around, only to hit ** to anger him at night.
Sister Ling said that from falling in love to getting married, and then to now, the two of them are more and less together, sometimes they miss him very much, and they can only play **, but far water can't save the near fire, everyone knows what it means.
In fact, for so many years, no matter whether I am happy or not, I have stayed up alone. In fact, it is "living and widowed", and they are all numb in terms of emotion.
02: My husband and I are together, but we don't have an actual relationship as husband and wife.
Tan Ling, who is just 40 years old this year, is the most charming age in a woman's life, and her charm still exists. Tan Ling said that she and her husband met through someone else's introduction.
At that time, my husband liked me at first sight, and I didn't like him, nor did I hate him, anyway, the impression was not good or bad.
He pursued me fiercely, and I couldn't find a reason to refuse him, so I talked about it, and after more than two years of love, at the urging of my family, I married him at the age of twenty-eight and thirty.
Two years of love, neither long nor short. During this time, he was very kind to me, almost obedient, and I slowly fell in love with him. We were also like other couples, passionate, but in the end we didn't go beyond the last line of defense because I was afraid.
What am I afraid of?I also had two boyfriends before I fell in love with him, and the first boyfriend was married to him, and then for various reasons, we broke up. It was I who offered to break up.
Falling in love with my second boyfriend made me unforgettable. He is very handsome, his family is very good, he is still a 985 famous college student, and he himself is also very competitive and has opened a small computer software company.
I believed in my fate very much, and my mother went to Nanyue, Hunan Province to find a fortune teller and tell me a hexagram, saying that I was blessed and would definitely marry a man who was accomplished and good to me in the future.
I met my second lover, I was very satisfied, he also liked me very much, once, he and I drove to the province for a trip, and that night, we stayed together. A skin-to-skin kiss occurred.
But at that time, my first time had already been given to my first lover. Afterwards, I could see that he was a little upset, but he still pushed himself.
He's a very conservative person, what age is it, and he still requires his girlfriend to be **, since this time, he has slowly distanced himself from me, and in the end, we broke up.
I'm afraid that my third boyfriend will refuse to marry me when he finds out that I am not a **. On the night of the wedding, I was happy and looking forward to it, but I was also scared.
Sure enough, after my husband found out that it wasn't my first time, he rarely touched me in terms of married life.
Although my husband didn't question me, he still asked who I gave it to for the first timeI don't blame him, but I explain to him and ask him for forgiveness.
I know my husband will be angry, but I believe that as long as I treat him well in the future, he will let go of his old suspicions and get back together.
I was too naïve, after marriage, no matter how hard I tried to explain to him, I would be good to him for the rest of my life, try my best to please him, and accommodate him, but the relationship between the two husband and wife is cold, and there are very few.
We have been married for 12 years and our children are already in elementary school. My husband has never taken the initiative, and it can be seen that he has also worked hard, but for some reason, it may be because of psychological reasons, there are obstacles, and he has always refused to "offend" me.
I also thought about divorce, but when I thought of children, this thought instantly came to naught, except for the fact that husband and wife are competent, in other aspects, the husband is competent, which is one of the reasons why our marriage can continue.
This kind of marriage really made me very broken and helpless, I didn't know what to do to make my husband accept me, and I was a "living widow" alive.
Through Tan Ling's case, such a marriage, both men and women are very depressed and painful, since the man has been unable to let go for so long, why are both men and women still sticking to it, a marriage without emotion is actually immoral, such a marriage will only make us feel pain and suffering.
Instead of reluctantly sticking to such a marriage, it is better to open your heart, give up your marriage, and make yourself easier and happier.