Hello everyone, I'm "he said", and welcome to the "Joke Collection".
Go to the park to play, and see a little Lori and her son having a good time, so I walked over to give each of them a bottle of drink, and my son took it and drank it, and the little Lori was still hesitating, I smiled and said, "Don't be afraid!."Auntie won't sell you, at most take it home to my son as a sister!“
The little boy opened his mouth dissatisfied: ".Mom, don't make trouble, maybe she's your daughter-in-law!
What is the function of the mouth?
What is the function of the mouth?One day I asked my son, "What is the function of the mouth?"
The son replied, "Eat, sleep, fart," he said
At that time, I was corny, and I was angry: "Who told you?" ”
The son replied, "Mom told me that yesterday Mom said you were full of. ”
My son watched the TV series "Journey to the West", and in the episode of Zhu Bajie's daughter-in-law, I suddenly thought of a riddle of Zhu Bajie.
Me: "Son, mom will give you a riddle, guess who it is." ”
Son: "Okay!."”
Me: "Listen up, the fat head, big ears and round belly, it's not easy to be the second in line." Seeing beautiful women smiling, they don't like to work and like money. Guess a character!”
Son: "It's my dad!."”
Me: "I'll go, if it weren't for your little cub reminding me, I really wouldn't think your dad is so virtuous!."”
My eight-year-old son didn't study Xi well, and he talked back to her mother, which made my daughter-in-law angry.
I helped: "This is my daughter-in-law, why do you make her angry, when you marry your daughter-in-law in the future, I am also so angry with your daughter-in-law, are you happy?"”
Who knew that this stinky boy went up and hugged his mother and kissed him, ".Then I dare to kiss your daughter-in-law, will you dare to kiss my daughter-in-law in the future?
In the morning, the girl was lying in bed, and when she saw that she was going to be late for school, the daughter-in-law lifted the quilt, raised her hand and slapped her twice, and got up.
Tease your daughter when washing your face: Daddy will give you a new mother?
Daughter: Don't!My own mother is like this, can I still survive if I change my stepmother?
The son asked his father: Why is the word "surname" derived from the word "female" and "born." ”
Dad said: "Because a woman has to choose a name when she gives birth to a child, for example, if your mother gives birth to you, you will have my surname Xu and my name will be Xiaogang." ”
Xiao Gang thought about it and asked, "Who is the surname of the child born to a man?"
Dad said, "Men don't have children." “
Xiao Gang said, "No!."The word nephew means that the man gives birth to a child, and the nephew is not the child that the man gives birth to?”
When I returned to the community after work, I saw a girl greeting a four or five-year-old girl downstairs, and the little girl politely shouted "Auntie" to the girl
The girl said to the little girl: Be good, call sister, don't call aunt, am I that old?
The little girl thought for a long time and said: If I call you sister,Doesn't that show that I'm old?
In the morning, I was making my bed, and my daughter came running up to me and said, "Mom, you have to pat it under the pillow." “”
I'm happy in my heart, ah, my daughter loves to be clean at a young age.
Unexpectedly, she continued: "Because the bottom is all the boogers I collected last night!."”
Checking my little nephew's homework and finding a math problem, a pencil costs two yuan, how much does it cost to buy two?
I saw that the little nephew replied: Money is not something I should worry about at my age!
A little boy went to the obstetrics and gynecology clinic with his pregnant mother, and the mother covered her stomach and moaned from time to time, and the little boy asked in horror: "Mom, what's wrong with you?"”
The mother explained, "Your brother kicked me, he is getting naughty and naughty. ”
The little boy said, "Why don't you swallow a toy and give it to your brother to play with?"”
If you like it, follow me, more hilarious jokes will make you happy every day!