Hello everyone, I'm "he said", and welcome to the "Joke Collection".
I remember that once my cousin's QQ number was stolen, ** used his number to cheat people everywhere to cheat money, and tricked me into coming.
I called ** and asked my cousin if he was short of money, and my cousin said that QQ was stolen, don't believe it.
The next day, I saw my cousin's QQ signature like this: "Die**, there is a kind of stealing numbers, don't go to the pit money one by one, and have the ability to confess one by one!."“
Swipe the circle of friends and see the friends and couples going out to travel**. I sent him a message: Can you do me a favor?
Friend: As long as you don't borrow money, you can help with anything.
Me: I am very envious to see that you two are living a sweet and sweet life, can you introduce me to a girlfriend?
Friend: I'll lend you some money to travel.
Me: Why did you let me travel?
Friend: If you go to a crowded place, you may meet a blind girl.
Yesterday, my brother confessed to his crush, and afterwards, I asked him how the confession was
My brother: "Just look at the wound on my face." ”
I was surprised and said, "If you don't agree, you don't need to fight so hard!."”
My brother: "She looks too similar to her sister, she found the wrong person, and was beaten by her brother-in-law." ”
I asked suspiciously, "She didn't pull it?"”
My brother: "Pull, or pull, I'll run away!."”
When I was in college, I chased a girl and confessed several times, but to no avail.
Later, the girl texted me to go to the park on the weekend, and I was so excited that I didn't sleep well at night.
I was invited to the Yellow River Park on the weekend, and after walking for a while, the girl said:"There's something I've always wanted to say to you...."
I was so excited, I thought there was a drama in this matter, so I said:"You say, I'll listen. "
Then she told me:"I've also seen the Yellow River, this time I'm dead, right?"
There was a person who went to buy a car, and the price of the car was 80,000 yuan. He searched all over his body and found 79,998 yuan, a difference of two yuan. He saw a beggar in front of the shop, so he went to the beggar and said, "Please, give me two yuan, I have to buy a car."
The beggar took out 4 yuan very formally, handed it to him and said: Buy one for me too.
I went to a relative's house as a guest, and the relative asked, "Have you talked about the object?"”
I'm already engaged and ready to get married on May Day. ”
Relative: "How's the work?".”
It's quite stable, and there can be seven or eight hundred thousand left a year. ”
Relative: "Where did you buy the house?"”
There is one set in the city, and I am ready to buy another set in the countryside. ”
The relative smiled with relief: "This child's condition is recovering well, and he still bit last year." ”
How to get a foodie to confess to you: "Do you like meat?"— like".
Do you like vegetables?"— like".
Love chocolate?"— like".
Love potato chips?"— like".
Like me?"— like".”
o o) became!
Men and women meet. M: I used to see your **, but now when I see you, it turns out that your ** is all P. Female: Who doesn't p now, I see you, it's the same.
M: I haven't sent you **, how do you say I've also p?
F: I said you looked like you had been struck by lightning.
When I went to buy dough, a little sister was buying it in front of her, and she said loudly to the boss: "The boss gave me a small bowl of dough, I want a small bowl, remember to put more bean sprouts, cucumbers, gluten, and dough more".
The boss said with a black line on his face: "Then what should you put less?".”
The girl thought about it and said, "Put less chopsticks, I'll eat alone." ”
Today, a middle-aged woman came to the bureau to report the case, saying that she had been deceived of more than 1,000 yuan and asked to file a case, and her colleague told her that it would cost 5,000 yuan to file a case, and then she left without saying anything.
After a while, she hurriedly ran back again, and said to my colleague, "Comrade policeman, I just ran to transfer more than 3,000 to the **, and now there are 5,000, help me file a case!."The colleague was stunned.
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