"Daughter-in-law, the dishes are all bought, just waiting for you to make them!"Daughter-in-law, all have long hands, right?Do it yourself
In one book, I read the following sentence: "Marriage is essentially the union of two families, and potential conflicts do not arise only from cohabitation, but conversely, not living together does not mean that there are no contradictions." One of the most important aspects of the mother-in-law relationship is to establish a clear role positioning. ”
Many mothers-in-law tend to think that their daughters-in-law marry into their own families to serve their sons and the whole family, and that they are expected to obey them unreservedly. On the contrary, daughters-in-law feel that it is natural for their in-laws to be involved in the care of their grandchildren. However, the actual situation is far from a simple battle between right and wrong, and a good relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is based on mutual respect and understanding, neither expecting too much nor deliberately making things difficult for each other.
I have a colleague named Huang Jingjing, and she shared with me the conflicts between her and her mother-in-law, which are often hidden in trivial details, but they are the most deeply hurtful. Jingjing complains that her mother-in-law is always critical of her, but in front of outsiders, she praises her cooking skills, saying that she must be allowed to cook if there are guests in the house.
Jingjing believes that this is not really a compliment, but more like a moral pressure. When I go to my mother-in-law's house on holidays, my mother-in-law always asks her to cook. Although the husband came to help, he was soon called away by his mother-in-law because she didn't want him to make trouble in the kitchen. As a result, Jingjing had to work alone in the kitchen for two or three hours at a time, while her in-laws, husband, and Shanshan always sat in the living room and waited.
Every time she came back from her in-law's house, Jingjing felt a sore back. Frankly, it's a really tiring task for one person to be in charge of cooking a table. If it weren't for the fact that her husband was very good to her and her parents, Jingjing would not have endured it for so many years. Every time after cooking at her in-law's house, her husband always takes the initiative to massage her back, and she has to be responsible for housework for half a month alone to make up for it.
In mid-November, my father-in-law was about to celebrate his birthday, and my mother-in-law contacted Jingjing two days in advance. She told Jingjing that there would be two tables of guests and dine at home, hoping that Jingjing would come early. Unfortunately, Jingjing was not feeling well for a few days, so she suggested to her mother-in-law: "Mom, let's go to the hotel to eat, we will pay for it ourselves." I'm really feeling sick these days!”
The mother-in-law immediately retorted: "You know how to spend money indiscriminately!."The dishes in the hotel look good, the portion is small, how can you make your own clean and hygienic!It's not that you can't do it, and you'll be fine when the time comes, how can you be so squeamish?That's it!After saying this, the mother-in-law hung up ** and didn't give Jingjing a chance to refute at all.
Jingjing was a little helpless, and when her husband came home, she told him about it, and emphasized that she happened to be coming from her aunt in those days, and it was very painful every time. Wouldn't it be embarrassing if she couldn't cook at that time?She suggested booking two tables at the hotel, but her husband said he would talk to his mother.
On Jingjing's father-in-law's birthday, due to the visit of her aunt in the early morning, Jingjing felt very unwell and had to ask the company for leave in the morning. She took some painkillers and rested in bed. In a daze, she heard the **bell ringing, and after picking it up**, she heard her mother-in-law say loudly: "Why hasn't it arrived yet?".The dishes are ready, just waiting for you to make them!”
Jingjing tried to explain: "Mom, I'm really unwell, I'm tired, let's eat outside!."I'll transfer you money later. ”
The mother-in-law roared angrily: "I think you just want to be lazy!."I've heard that other people have no problem with menstruation every month, so you have to die or live, how can you have a lazy daughter-in-law ......”
Jingjing was a little angry after hanging up **, she regretted it, thinking that she might be too excited, and whether she would embarrass her husband. However, she also realized that she could not take back what she had said, so she decided to go to bed first.
At nine o'clock in the evening, when Jingjing thought that her husband who had returned home would blame her, to her surprise, her husband apologized to her first. He admitted that during the four years of marriage, Jingjing was angry with his mother and felt sorry for her. Jingjing's husband also revealed that his uncle came today and persuaded his mother-in-law, thinking that they followed the argument of "no daughter-in-law is in a hurry, and there is a daughter-in-law who is bullied by the whole family". In the end, the uncle asked him and his sister to cook, saying that if there is no daughter-in-law at home, you will not drink the northwest wind. Jingjing felt relieved at this time, and also understood that blind forbearance will not work, and sometimes it is necessary to resist at the right time.