What exactly is school bullying?I believe that most people can't help but look down when they see such a topic. Especially if you are already a parent. In this article, Hirohito details the behavior of bullying in schools, and points out that both the bully and the person being bullied can be severely affected.
Of course, school bullying must be in the minority. However, in the school life of children, being bullied is a common thing, when a child is bullied at school, as a parent, what will you do, or what should you do?
Mentally correct: My child is being bullied I am being bullied
When we hear that our children are being bullied, our anger seems to be far greater than that of our own bullying, and the courage and persistence to seek justice despite everything is the restlessness in our hearts.
In addition to courage, what other emotions are controlling us under this impulse?- Anger, powerlessness, etc.!
Jonathan Haight said in The Elephant and the Elephant Rider: "Our 'hearts' are an unrestrained elephant;Our 'wisdom' is an elephant rider with the ability to control. They often disagree and go their own way, so we get farther and farther away from happiness."
Normalize your mind: Emotions are your body's alarm: my boundaries have been violated
Lai Yufan said in "Boundary Consciousness": "Your boundaries are your emotions, and as long as the boundaries are broken, a warning will be issued to let you know that you have been crossed." ”
When children are bullied, our boundaries are violated, and we are angry, what is the deeper level of anger that makes us so upset?
1) The child was bullied, I was so incompetent and did not protect my child;
2) My child was insulted, it was disgusting;
3) It's so unfair that schools and teachers don't punish bad students;
4) My self-esteem and I were threatened, it was so humiliating;
5) My approach is to uphold fairness and justice.
From an individual point of view, threats to self-esteem are the main cause of violence, and idealism gives us the courage to escalate the situation.
Cultivating a positive mind: strong self-esteem and moral idealism, which seem to be virtues
People who have too much self-esteem are often inherently immature.
1) Either the inner inferiority, wrapped in an armor called "self-esteem" or "face", when we feel insulted, bullied, that is, the armor is broken, others want to see our inner weakness, the fear that the image is about to collapse, let us think that this is a big deal, we have to seek justice.
2) Either it is an inner conceit, especially a person who is very smooth sailing, has a certain social status, has a strong personality, and has a rank in their hearts, those who are stronger than him are ranked in the high position, and those who are weaker than him are ranked in the low position, and he is not allowed to be ranked in the low position against himself, then it is a violation of his "self-esteem" boundary.
A person with too strong self-esteem cannot suffer a loss, and once he suffers, anger is his usual way of coping.
Moral idealism will appeal to one's violent behavior as good, acting for heaven or punishing evil and promoting good.
Fairness and justice are very important in the hearts of moral idealists, and if something that he thinks is right and cannot be treated fairly by him, he will be angry, so he will rise up and resist, and he will not give up until he achieves his goal.
Many times, we think that the elephant rider controls the direction of the elephant's travel, but in fact the elephant chooses the direction and the elephant rider chooses a reasonable explanation. (To be continued).
I believe that all parents or expectant parents will think about this question, and I hope this article can bring you some inspiration. What else can I do?Stay tuned to this platform. Of course, if you are an acute child, or your child is suffering from such a situation, and you urgently need a better way to solve it, you may wish to search for Yang Zheng Psychological UH***