When I got home, I heard my neighbors yelling. As soon as I went upstairs, I saw my neighbor angrily pushing his son out of the house and punishing the station. I advised my neighbor to talk, but she said, "This kid should be beaten, and if he doesn't get angry, he can't be controlled at all!""Watching the boy stand there with his head down, I had a different idea.
Education expert Chen Heqin once said: "Children's minds are easily injured at an early age, and any rough and arbitrary education methods are inappropriate." "Sometimes, getting angry seems to have an immediate effect and has an effect on the child's education. However,You may not know that losing your temper at your child is actually a rough way to smooth out your child's nature and make him lose his inner spirituality.
The more angry you get, the dumber your child becomes
In the variety show "Super Parenter", there is a mother with a bad temper, and the way she tutors her son in his homework makes people feel suffocated: whenever there is a friction, she gets angry and scolds the child. As long as her son couldn't do it, she slapped the table and scolded loudly: "Are you not using your brains at all?".Do you want to be a waste?"My son was visibly frightened and made a series of mistakes in his homework.
The mother couldn't bear it anymore, so she picked up the whip and beat her son while talking about the topic. However, the son seemed to have his head stuck and couldn't understand it. The mother was very frustrated and didn't know why her son was so stupid. When the mother is angry, the child will be extremely nervous and full of fear, at which point the brain will stop thinking. If the child is in this state for a long time, the brain's response will be slower, and the learning effect will naturally be poor. Martin A., associate professor at Harvard Medical SchoolTeicher's research has shown that:
In children who have been scolded by their parents for a long time, the volume of the hippocampus and corpus callosum is significantly reduced. A child's memory and reaction speed decline, which directly affects IQ. This also explains why her children are in.
In the first and second grades, his performance was good, but now he has gradually deteriorated, and his grades are always at the bottom, and he often even scores zero in the exam. Your anger will not make your child's brain more active, it will only cause the brain to stop working directly.
"The more you scold, the more stupid you get"This is not a joke. A parent's bad temper is the biggest obstacle in a child's learning path.
The more angry you get, the more inferior your child becomes
Being yelled at by parents often has a great negative impact on children. Children will plant the seeds of inferiority complex in their hearts. When parents lose their temper, they use demeaning and hurtful words that are deeply imprinted in their children's personalities. This can lead to a habit of self-deprecation, feeling inferior and lacking self-confidence. This mindset can affect a child's academic and professional development, causing them to miss out on many opportunities. Parents lose their temper and educate their children in an unfavorable way, and children will only fall into the dark whirlpool of emotions, thinking that they are not good and not good. When a child's sense of worth and self-confidence is destroyed, so does their vitality and vitality. Therefore, parents should pay attention to controlling their temper and avoid using hurtful words and actions towards their children.
The more angry you get, the more emotionally hurt your child becomes
Parents often get angry and have a negative impact on their children. In one of the a**, a mother was taken to a sound experience venue and was surprised to hear her own roar when she was angry. Angry yelling can leave psychological and emotional scars on children, causing them to behave sluggishly and silently. Children who were yelled at by their parents described feeling like their heads were buzzing, their bodies felt like they were being torn apart, and they couldn't breathe. Parents' impulsive emotions only exacerbate their children's fear, helplessness, depression, and despair, causing them to lose their vitality and spirituality.
For the sake of the healthy growth of our children, we need to learn to control our bad emotions. Dr. Ronald, an expert in emotion management, suggests that when you feel that anger is about to explode, there are three ways to control your emotions: use the "escape from the scene" method, temporarily leave the scene of the incident, and let the emotions gradually ease;Hold back your anger and count from 1 to 10 to gradually decrease your anger levelMake a few "nodding" movements when anger rushes to your head, and your mood level will drop immediately.
After controlling bad emotions, we can learn to express them. Educator Rhona Rainer came up with a one-size-fits-all formula: express feelings + state facts + set expectations. For example, when a child is struggling and not doing homework, you can use this formula to express: I am really angry (feeling) because in the past hour, you have either drunk the water toilet or fumbled around, and you have not finished any homework questions (fact), you had better finish the homework first within the specified time according to the plan, and then make the rest (expectation).
If you don't hold back your temper for a while, it's okay, we need to change it. First, apologize to your child and tell them that you still love them, that you only lost your temper because you lost control of your emotions, and that you will try to control your emotions next time. Then, review and record the process of the incident in time and summarize the experience.
By learning to control our emotions, express our feelings, and reflect in a timely manner, we can gradually improve our emotional management skills and build a more rapport with our children.