My husband and I were introduced to each other. The matchmaker said that his family has strong women and weak men, and his mother is very capable, and he has single-handedly started the family's business. Although he learned a lot of business experience from his mother, he was slow and not decisive enough, so his family thought that he needed to find a capable daughter-in-law to help him.
I'm anxious, I don't do things in a hurry, and I don't drag the mud and water, so their family likes me very much.
After we got married, we started busy with business. The two of us are rigid and soft, and the business is very smooth.
In fact, although I am strong, when I really encounter major events, I still adhere to the traditional concept that --- man is the head of the family, and he should make the decision. He got it right, and naturally he made a lot of money and the family was harmonious;If I made a mistake and there was a financial loss, I couldn't help but blame him, annoyed him, and the two of us quarreled.
We were always having a little quarrel together, which annoyed both of us. I simply went home to take care of the children and reduce the friction between the two. Besides, I have always wanted to be at home with my husband and children.
In this way, I became the woman behind him, revolving around the two children every day, and a lot of housework to do, and rarely took care of business matters, he only encountered things that he was not sure about, and would ask for my opinion.
Later, he lost his investment, lost his family, and owed foreign debts, and a war broke out between the two of us. He said, I am good at everything, but I am too quick to be angry and complain, and when he is at his worst, I do not comfort him, but pour salt on his wounds. He was angry at me and said, "Sooner or later, I will get ahead and let you look up to me!".With that, he slammed the door angrily.
I think such a man is too cowardly, and the business is not doing well, and he won't let me say a few words, if it weren't for the two children, I really want to kick him.
In the past, he would also drink with his friends from time to time, but he rarely got drunk and would come home on time at night. Now, he's often getting drunk, and when he comes home, he's going crazy at me, and I'm arguing with him. He didn't return all night. It's not that I'm not suspicious, but seeing that he is so depressed, he really doesn't look like a big man, so I don't bother to pay attention to him.
Later, he drank less, but often did not return home at night. I asked him what he was doing if he didn't go home at night, and he either said that he was going to socialize, or he said angrily: "Stay in a hotel, save yourself from listening to your nagging!".”
I began to pay attention to the messages on his mobile phone, and found that he was in frequent contact with a woman, talking about business matters, as well as emotional matters, and it was clear that they had an abnormal relationship!
I was so angry that my chest hurt, I sent a screenshot of the chat history to my phone to save it, and with this evidence, I asked him for a showdown. He did not shy away at all, and directly admitted that he had cheated, but he did not admit his mistake and gave reasons.
He said she was gentle, empathetic and wouldn't blame him. I was furious and demanded that he cut off contact with the woman immediately, or I would divorce him. "It's okay to cut contact, but not now," he said. Didn't you always want to turn over?She can help me earn my money back!”
It turned out that the woman's brother had a wide network of resources, and she was helping to contact a big business. As long as this business is completed, our family's business can be brought back to life.
Thinking about the livelihood of my family and thinking about the scene of the debt collector forcing the debt, I gritted my teeth and endured it with tears. "I've been tormented for two years, and when business gets better, he'll come back to me. "I consoled myself with this.
With the help of that woman, my family's business came back to life, and it went more and more smoothly, the debts were paid off, the profits became more and more, and he gave me more and more money.
I do find a little bit of joy when I spend money, but the feeling is fleeting and more painful. I hated and feared that woman. Since the cheating incident was discovered, my husband did not shy away from going to her, and said to me directly: "I'll go to her tonight, you don't have to wait for me." ”
Hearing this, even if I was furious in my heart, I had to suppress my anger little by little. The thought of my man lying next to another woman made me mad and forced myself not to think about that kind of image, only to cry silently.
Now that the business has turned a profit, I finally have to take it anymore and tell him to kick the woman away, but his words make me desperate. He said: "I can't leave her now, she has helped our family so much, I want to leave her, isn't that crossing the river and tearing down the bridge?"People can't be so unconscionable!”
We had another big fight, and he was clearly making excuses for his cheating, how could I tolerate him doing this to me.
The woman was also calm, and instead of urging him to divorce, she gave birth to a son.
I asked him to give me a clear attitude, do I want her or this family?At first he kept running away and didn't answer, but when I pressed hard, he replied, "I like her." ”
We're still divorced. Divorce is easy to say, but the psychological destruction is almost like dying once. I've been hating myself, I'm so stupid to let my husband cheat, and now this ending is self-inflicted.
Fortunately, we didn't have any disputes over property, which was the greatest psychological comfort to me. After the divorce, the custody of the daughter belongs to me and the son belongs to him. He said that he was sorry for me and the children, and that most of the money he earned from doing business belonged to me, as well as his house and car. In this way, I think he still has a conscience.
After the divorce, I was getting used to life without him. Suddenly one day, I saw him on the street with the woman.
They drove luxury cars and behaved intimately, and I felt very uncomfortable, and I thought, "Didn't he give me most of the money?"How can you still have the money to buy a luxury car?"I followed them and saw them enter a villa complex. And I found out that after he divorced me, he opened another branch.
The more I thought about it, the more sad I became, if he had given me most of the money, he would not have been able to buy a villa and a luxury car, let alone open a branch. Obviously, I was deceived!
The more I thought about it, the more sad it became, the more difficult it was to swallow this breath, I asked him for a theory, but he didn't admit it, and he didn't give me any more money. Before, I still had a family affection for him, but now I only have hatred, I just want to get back the money that belongs to me!
Sort out this relationship,YesSeeYouSeveral mistakes were made.
First,Give up your career and go home to teach your husband and children.
You are very capable, you and your husband are strong and soft, and you have done a prosperous business. It's a pity that she has a strong traditional concept and thinks that men are the heads of the family and should rush to the front, so she chose to give up her career and be the woman behind men. You must know that no matter how much a woman loves someone, she should not leave society and give up the ability to survive for him.
Second,After learning that her husband was having an affair,Youdidn't show his bottom line
has zero tolerance for cheating, but for the sake of the family's livelihood, turning a blind eye to it, causing her husband's extramarital affair to develop and become a threesome situation.
Third,I don't know how to manage my marriage, I have a short temper, and I love to complain.
When a woman often quarrels with a man over some trivial things, the man will have the psychology that he can't afford to provoke and hide, and your husband is like this, turning outside to find solace.
Fortunately, you didn't have to be unable to extricate yourself in a marriage full of betrayal and hurt, but chose to divorce. It's just that when she saw that her ex-husband and the woman were living richly, she was unwilling and wanted to get back the money that belonged to her.
Recommendations: Next, you should work on self-growth. In marriage, you have become a woman behind the man, and your mind is on your husband and children, but not on yourself. Marriage is the union of two independent individuals, and it is also a game of energy between the sexes, and if either party is too weak, the relationship will be out of balance.
Not rather,YouLosing to a third party is better than losing to oneself who has lost oneself. When a woman is overly dependent on a man in marriage, it is equivalent to pinning the right of happiness on the man, and once the man's behavior does not meet his own needs and expectations, the woman will become a victim of gains and losses, and cannot see her own value.
You should understand that women can only learn to grow themselves and learn to love themselves, which is more reliable than finding a man to love you. For a cheating ex, the best means of revenge is that you are getting better and better and live your life vividly!